mirage12 Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Met a girl a month ago at a bar, and we hit it off pretty quickly. I made out with her for a while at the end of the night/got her number. We texted sporadically the next few weeks but didn't hang out (it was also the holidays/New Years/I went out of town, etc.) Finally had drinks with her on Tues., which I wasn't sure was even going to happen (she rescheduled twice). Hung out with her for a few hours, and after she texted saying she'd had a great time. Was thinking of calling her maybe tonight or tomorrow night, but do you all think it's too soon to set something up for the weekend? Don't want to lose this one by seeming too overeager...
Treasa Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I think it's more a matter of being too late. I'd say call her, but don't be surprised if she already has plans for the weekend. If she doesn't and she goes out with you, bonus! If a guy asks me out with almost no notice, I almost always say no. Chances are my plans are already made, even if it means I'm watching Monday Night Raw by myself at home.
Author mirage12 Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 That's what I figured too, which is why I was thinking of not trying to set something up this weekend and maybe trying Sunday or early next week 1
mtber75 Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Since you guys only communicated sporadically it looks like the interest level is low on both sides, you and the girl! She might not be interested because she thinks that your communicating in a unclear manner...In other words be more specific when contacting her next time like let's do this or go here (specific time and places)! Vague texts and calls like "hey how is it going" just don't interest people. 1
Author mirage12 Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 You might be right mtber, but I think that it was just bad timing when we met...we texted but didn't hang out the week after we met, then I went into finals/went out of town for the next two weeks and after that it was the holidays
Ami1uwant Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 That's what I figured too, which is why I was thinking of not trying to set something up this weekend and maybe trying Sunday or early next week You could call tonight and set up something for Sat/Sun.
salparadise Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 It would be easy to over think this... It's been two days so it's not too soon (the next morning is too soon), and like Treasa said, you don't want to ask last minute, so asking on Thurs for a date on Saturday seems fine. You don't want to seem either anxious nor aloof. 2-3 day intervals seems normal I think, but it depends on both the woman and the circumstances. I've heard it said (by a woman) that once you've connected they expect you to call once a day, no more, no less. She was quite sure about that. But I've also read in a dating advice column for men, that it's best to mix it up so that she doesn't take anything for granted and that 5-9 days is the best interval. This article was pushing the theory that you must present a challenge––that as soon as a woman thinks she's got you she will lose interest.
sydneysider1978 Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Hi! Yes, it's great to call the next day or two days after if you are keen and are getting good vibes in return. If I guy waited 5 to 9 days I would think he isn't that interested or trying to game me. Neither is good. After a slow start, you probably need to show some consistent interest and get the momentum going. I usually have plans for a Saturday in advance. How about calling for a Sunday early dinner or movie? Nice and relaxed and cosy.
Author mirage12 Posted January 11, 2013 Author Posted January 11, 2013 New development...called today and didn't leave a message but no response. What should my next move be? Seems like I'm really getting mixed signals here...
Lani Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 If you head out this weekend, then let her know. A text along the lines of 'Hey! I'm out at (insert bar name here), you should come by for a drink if you're around!' It's pretty open ended, and it's unlikely that she'll actually come. There are 3 ways this can go- - She doesn't respond. Pretty clear she's not interested. - She responds, but says she can't make it. If that's it, then give her a few days and call her again (you're pretty much in the same boat as now) - She responds, and declines, but offers an alternative time/date to meet up. It's keeping things sort of casual, but it should help clear things up. Good luck!
clia Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 New development...called today and didn't leave a message but no response. What should my next move be? Seems like I'm really getting mixed signals here... You called and didn't leave a message or she did?
Author mirage12 Posted January 11, 2013 Author Posted January 11, 2013 I called but didn't leave a message
clia Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Why didn't you leave a message? I don't call anyone back who doesnt leave a message. What mixed signals? Call her again and leave a message this time if she doesn't pick up.
Author mirage12 Posted January 11, 2013 Author Posted January 11, 2013 Hmm, maybe because maybe half a week after I first met this girl I did call her and leave her a message, didn't hear back from her and I let it go for about 3 weeks before hitting her up again. As for mixed signals, maybe I'm just surprised by silence after a call, I'd think the girl would at least acknowledge the call with a quick text or something
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