Unique_Beauty Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Dear viewers, My boyfriend and I have been dating for 1 year and 4 months. Im 19 and he's 22.When we first met, everything was going good. Sex was great, conversation was great, and we always went out on dates. As our 1 year anniversary was coming up i noticed we were constantly arguing over small things. Its gotten to the point where it would get physical and me and my boyfriend would say ``im done with you'' out of anger but we would get back together like the next day. I also started taking birth control to be safe because both of us are in college and we are not mentally or financially ready to take care of a baby. As I said before we were having a lot of sex but when I started taking the birth control, I noticed that we weren't having sex like we normally would. It would get to the point where he would beg me for sex. Eventually I would give in just to shut him up. And he noticed this and asked me if i was still attracted to him. I am attracted to him physically but as far as sexually, i think i lost it. And now we don't go out like we usually do. All we do is just sit around And chill at his apartment. I've gotten to the point where I somtimes don't want to be around him. Even the smallest things that he does is just irritating to me. We both do love each And want to spend the rest of our lives together, but the way I've been feeling about him, I just don't know what to do at this point. Could someone please help me solve this problem?
truth_seeker Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 We both do love each And want to spend the rest of our lives together, but the way I've been feeling about him, I just don't know what to do at this point. Could someone please help me solve this problem? No. You do not want to spend the rest of your lives together. This is delusional, caught up in the moment talk. From what you describe, your relationship has run its course. Break it off. See other people. If the "love" is still there a year from now, then you will find your way back to each other. 1
veggirl Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 What do you mean it's "gotten physical"?? :eek: If that means what I assume it means, there is NO reason for you to be in this relationship. 1
jakelongot Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 No. You do not want to spend the rest of your lives together. This is delusional, caught up in the moment talk. From what you describe, your relationship has run its course. Break it off. See other people. If the "love" is still there a year from now, then you will find your way back to each other. I don't know if I would use the term "delusional", but it seems like this relationship has run its course. Whether you choose to believe it or not, you are both very young and inexperienced. You change so much as a person from 16-18, 18-22, 23-28, 28 and beyond. The problem with being in a long term relationship in such a young age is that it makes it difficult to experience the personal growth you need. You might find that the things you value now aren't really what you value as a person, but rather as a couple. When you are in a relationship, sometimes you have the blinders on...happens to all of us. I'm guessing this guy is your first real love or long term relationship? Best thing you can do is give eachother space and reevluate. It will be good for both of you and give you some perspective. You can always get back together, but my guess is you will both realize you want other things and move on. It hurts, but this is the time to be single and date (or don't date) and discover who you are and what you want. You have the rest of your life for relationships, your 20's are for experimentation and being young. You'll never get this time back.
truth_seeker Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I don't know if I would use the term "delusional", but it seems like this relationship has run its course. For an early 20 something to write that they are in love and want to spend the rest of their lives together, to me that's a bit delusional.
jakelongot Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 For an early 20 something to write that they are in love and want to spend the rest of their lives together, to me that's a bit delusional. Maybe as someone who is older looking back with perspective, but the love that a 20 year old experiences is no different than the love a 25/30/40 year old experiences. Your statement is a little unfair. 2
Author Unique_Beauty Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 Like I don't want to seem like I'm a young person who is naive but both of us want to get married(no time soon) And move forward with other things
veggirl Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 but what did you mean about things have gotten physical?
Author Unique_Beauty Posted January 11, 2013 Author Posted January 11, 2013 For the physical part, we have both put our hands on each other
RachR Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 I was in this relationship. We even match in the same ages (I was 19 when we met, he was 22). Instead of breaking up like we should have, we clung on and things got worse...much worse. Things got physical for us too. Do you resent him for any reason? (If not already for things having gotten physical). It could be you've lost attraction to him in general. Take it from someone who learned the hard way, just because you feel you love someone does not mean you should stay together.
Lani Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Like others have said, it seems that your relationship has run it's course. You're still so young, far too young to be in a relationship you're not happy with. As for the lack of sex, this seems to be coming from your end, and since you started birth control. Get to your doctor and speak about this, many birth control pills can ruin your sex drive. Tell them, and they can try you on a different kind.
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