irc333 Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 The one thing that attracts me to certain women...when you ask them out they KNOW or should know it's a date. Recently, I went out with a woman, and it was strange in she was speaking me in context as if we were on a date, and no doubt about it, we were on one. I get sick of asking women out, and THEM assuming it is NOT a date, but being friend zoned in some sick fashion. Anyone agree? Men? 1
Mr.White Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Ask them to go out on a date. When you ask them to just 'hang out' those are two different words.
Keenly Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Ask them to go out on a date. When you ask them to just 'hang out' those are two different words. What if we made plans to go out to "dinner" ?
NoMoreJerks Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 If a guy asked ME, just ME, to go out with him (i.e. no friends accompanying us), I would not friendzone him. I would assume/know that it is a date. However, I have had guys "ask me out" by asking me to hang out with him while we were going some place with mutual friends.. and expected me to look at that as a "date." While I may have interpreted that to be an expression of his interest, I never took it seriously / considered it a date because, well, having a "date" while we're hanging out with our mutual friends is not a "date".... If you are interested in me, ask me if I want to grab dinner ON OUR OWN, rather than set up a date "within" another event.. sorry, but nope, not good enough..... and I'm never gonna be sure as to what he's trying to do, and I'm not gonna make huge assumptions about him wanting to date me, if he didn't put in the effort to, well, ask me out.
TheZebra Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Frankly, if a guy asks me to any activity which is one-on-one and involves feeding me, I assume it's a date until proven otherwise. I'm guessing not all women think the same. 2
Author irc333 Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 Ask them to go out on a date. When you ask them to just 'hang out' those are two different words. Actually, the term "hang out" that's used in place of "date" these days, guess women's liberation caused that. It was kind of funny, me and her went to this place that has belly dancers (not my idea, but her's....and she wanted to buy me a drink...imagine that! LOL) Anyhow, she says, "I'll by you a drink but not a belly dancer....not that I'm the jealous type". So you can tell, by the flirty context in the way she stated that indicated as such.
Author irc333 Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 Hate to tell ya this, but this is how men start off these days....it's actually a GOOD idea and method to get to know a woman before you consider asking them out one-on-one. Some people prefer to get to know them in a GROUP setting, and this is getting more and more common. Then, after THAT he'll probably ask you out on a one-on-one date. I have my method of getting her away from the group at the end of the evening, and going off somewhere spontaneously, great method. :-) If a guy asked ME, just ME, to go out with him (i.e. no friends accompanying us), I would not friendzone him. I would assume/know that it is a date. However, I have had guys "ask me out" by asking me to hang out with him while we were going some place with mutual friends.. and expected me to look at that as a "date." While I may have interpreted that to be an expression of his interest, I never took it seriously / considered it a date because, well, having a "date" while we're hanging out with our mutual friends is not a "date".... If you are interested in me, ask me if I want to grab dinner ON OUR OWN, rather than set up a date "within" another event.. sorry, but nope, not good enough..... and I'm never gonna be sure as to what he's trying to do, and I'm not gonna make huge assumptions about him wanting to date me, if he didn't put in the effort to, well, ask me out.
Balzac Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 If a guy asked ME, just ME, to go out with him (i.e. no friends accompanying us), I would not friendzone him. I would assume/know that it is a date. However, I have had guys "ask me out" by asking me to hang out with him while we were going some place with mutual friends.. and expected me to look at that as a "date." While I may have interpreted that to be an expression of his interest, I never took it seriously / considered it a date because, well, having a "date" while we're hanging out with our mutual friends is not a "date".... If you are interested in me, ask me if I want to grab dinner ON OUR OWN, rather than set up a date "within" another event.. sorry, but nope, not good enough..... and I'm never gonna be sure as to what he's trying to do, and I'm not gonna make huge assumptions about him wanting to date me, if he didn't put in the effort to, well, ask me out. Interesting. So basically my invitation to a black tie charity event, table of 8, others acquaintances, NOT A DATE. Hmmmm.
runningfar Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I had a guy ask to carpool to a race before and then expected me to know it was a date. Uhh, no. Especially since I was quite clear I had a time frame to not date anybody and no one could change that. I am in favor of being blunt with expectations. I am quite dense. I am glad my boyfriend is not and has not been subtle. (Of course, he had to be blunt since we were friends first) 1
Mrlonelyone Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Yeah OP. It has been my observation and my experience that weather a given outing or set of outings is a date depends on how the woman feels about you at a given time in the future. If she likes you and wants to think of you in romantic ways, going to the same rock concert and sitting on opposite sides of the hall, only to meet at the end, is a date. If she likes you going for a hot dog at a push cart and talking for five minutes is a date. If she does not like you that much then an expensive dinner at a fancy sea food resturant, for which both of you got dressed up isn't a date. Hell and this one happened to me. Years latter a woman decided that all the time together up to and including us fooling around and having sex a couple times was her just being nice. W T F! @No more jerks. Good for you. The reaon so many men do that is because many many women (especially young ones) want that. At least at first. This conditions them to use that approach. A one on one date is big pressure for lots of people. This sort of thing makes me think I should just stick with men. I may not feel as much emotionally for them, but at least they won't play these mindgames.
NoMoreJerks Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Hate to tell ya this, but this is how men start off these days....it's actually a GOOD idea and method to get to know a woman before you consider asking them out one-on-one. Except that whenever this happened, I KNEW the guy... We worked together and studied together.. He KNEW me well enough and we had hung out with mutual friends lots of times before , except that this time around, he asked me to go with him and we sat next to each other. I am not a stranger to him, that he met the week before or whatever.. Also, if a guy who did not know me, did this to me, I'd consider him a coward. If you think I'm intruiging/attractive and want to get to know me, put in more effort and man up.
Author irc333 Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 Except that whenever this happened, I KNEW the guy... We worked together and studied together.. He KNEW me well enough and we had hung out with mutual friends lots of times before , except that this time around, he asked me to go with him and we sat next to each other. I am not a stranger to him, that he met the week before or whatever.. Also, if a guy who did not know me, did this to me, I'd consider him a coward. If you think I'm intruiging/attractive and want to get to know me, put in more effort and man up. well, that's what I'm referring to. I have a friend of mine, he's part of a German society group, they meet every so often for activities and other fun stuff, could be hiking, or could be movie night...as a group. He might single out a lady, get to know her over time...and then ask hero ut one on one.
NoMoreJerks Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 (edited) well, that's what I'm referring to. I have a friend of mine, he's part of a German society group, they meet every so often for activities and other fun stuff, could be hiking, or could be movie night...as a group. He might single out a lady, get to know her over time...and then ask hero ut one on one. The guy KNOWS me... He knows TONS about me. He doesnt need to "get to know me." That is the point..... Edited January 10, 2013 by NoMoreJerks
somedude81 Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Frankly, if a guy asks me to any activity which is one-on-one and involves feeding me, I assume it's a date until proven otherwise. I'm guessing not all women think the same. What if the guy expects you to feed yourself? I agree with your mindset, if the guy asks you to an activity that is one-one-one and you are not already established friends, it's a date. The vast majority of guys are not looking to make new platonic friends with single women. 1
ooglesnboogles Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Frankly, if a guy asks me to any activity which is one-on-one and involves feeding me, I assume it's a date until proven otherwise. I'm guessing not all women think the same. [childishness] Hehe, feed the zebra. Do you go to the zoo to do that? Hehe [/childishness] 2
Samilia Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 mmh "hanging out" for me means just that, I wouldn't call it a date. Might be a generation gap? Not sure.
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