Coping Vortex Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Bad night last night. One hour sleep. It's been almost 2 months and I am worse than I have ever been throughout this process. So sad she is gone. Still surreal to me she is actually not in love with me anymore and with some one else. I just can't seem to wrap my head around that concept. I miss her so much. Images of her having sex with her new guy is torturing me. I have been trying to use imaging techniques to get the scenes out of my head. I read that if you picture the scene and imagine taking a hammer and smashing the imagine into pieces. I found it has helped but the images soon return. I just can't seem to get any relief. Its a series of days of exhaustion. If I go to the gym I can't get a little more sleep but then I'm tired from working out and if i don't go to the gym i can't sleep at all. I haven't had one good nights sleep in 2 months!!!! It kills me because I know she is sleeping fine and with him. Whatever bad I did in my life I am paying for it now. In spades. NC is so tough. Although I finally learned that contacting them even for bread crumbs is worse I won't make that mistake again. I think i am becoming bitter now as its not fair she is happy and I am sad. she could have worked it out, to fall for some guy flirting with her in a bar and getting peer pressure from her friends to date him is so wrong. Well at least I didn't move in with her and have her to do it to me after. One word.....surreal.
na49 Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 It is surreal. To think that they love us one day and they have no problem leaving us the next. It makes you wonder, how much did they really "love" us? The word love is so f*cked in today's society though. I don't know what it means anymore. As for the images in your head. I struggle with them too. Pictures that I saw of her with her friends. Gah! It sucks! She's happily with them, probably talking all about how great her new guy is. How happy she is that I'm gone. I feel like screaming when I think about it. She's gone. She's been gone for 3 months now and is DONE with me. Here I am, living on this forum trying to just accept that it's over and move on. Trying to figure out answers to questions that I don't want to know the answers to. We really do have control over our thoughts though. Keeping yourself occupied. Even for a few hours not thinking about her will feel great. Images of her screwing her new guy is a killer. Eventually I'd imagine you'll get tired of seeing that image. How about instead of picturing her and her new guy making love. Picture you and a really hot model making love. She's whispering how much she loves you and only you in your ear. Moaning your name. Tomorrow morning she'll be cooking you your favorite breakfast in nothing but an "I love Coping Vortex" apron. lol not sure if that helped or not. I enjoyed that little fantasy for myself though. Anyway dude, stay strong. Keep posting here. You will get better. NC does get harder before it gets better. Then it will get harder again. If you want to move on you can. Grieve as much as you need to though. Eventually you won't be able to anymore.
cavalier99 Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 To get rid of the images of them having sex ...you should dive right into them until your are sick of it. Imagine her with the new guy every which way, cry, imagine them cuddling doing everything you together did but even more so. She is loving it with her new man..massive orgasms with his big cock ecetera. Keep it up along as you can until you get sick of it. It is hard to keep it up for too long until you get tired of it. Then your brain will be desenseitized to it.
Author Coping Vortex Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 All good suggestions guys. I appreciate them all. Yes I could do the strip club thing and the image suggestions. I have been trying to keep busy meeting friends talking with every girl I know. I have a few women that I could hook up with me for some meaningless sex but I still pine for my ex and I just can't go there just yet. When I think if doing that, I think wow this is just a quickie and she is making "love" to her new man. Just not the same for me. Plus she was the best in bed I ever had. Trust me you never met a woman that does what she can do in bed LOL! I have been around the block a few times and I know for a fact. Porn starts would blush LOL! Hooking up right now would just remind how good she really was. I feel so weak and I am normally a very strong man. This has been really rough. I miss her so much. We had so much history together so many great times. I wish this pain would lessen somehow. I have been through rough breaks up before but never like this. This was so sudden. Plus I just don't know what the real truth was that led up to this. I know what she told me but I am thinking now that was just a bunch of lies. The way it played doesn't make sense. I guess it's just one day at a time.
LostOne1 Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 All good suggestions guys. I appreciate them all. Yes I could do the strip club thing and the image suggestions. I have been trying to keep busy meeting friends talking with every girl I know. I have a few women that I could hook up with me for some meaningless sex but I still pine for my ex and I just can't go there just yet. When I think if doing that, I think wow this is just a quickie and she is making "love" to her new man. Just not the same for me. Plus she was the best in bed I ever had. Trust me you never met a woman that does what she can do in bed LOL! I have been around the block a few times and I know for a fact. Porn starts would blush LOL! Hooking up right now would just remind how good she really was. I feel so weak and I am normally a very strong man. This has been really rough. I miss her so much. We had so much history together so many great times. I wish this pain would lessen somehow. I have been through rough breaks up before but never like this. This was so sudden. Plus I just don't know what the real truth was that led up to this. I know what she told me but I am thinking now that was just a bunch of lies. The way it played doesn't make sense. I guess it's just one day at a time. It really is 1 day at a time. I was in your phase so obsessed with her and another guy doing EVERYTHING we did.. that she just swapped and replaced me so easily. That phase is a hard one, because everything feels so unfair and you just keep telling yourself why...why.. and how come we couldn't work it out etc.. To a point where you just say.. I don't want to work it out now after everything. Your going to feel weak. I thought I was super strong in fact my ex always used to tell me if she passed away etc.. I'd be strong enough to survive the death because I'm strong, but if I died she wouldn't be able to take it and be crushed. And let me tell you I realized how weak I became and I'm probably still a little weak. But I'm a lot stronger than I was a few months ago when the BU just had happened. Eventually you will feel a lot better maybe not fully healed but better.
jovan Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Every time you get your heart broken, it heals and grows bigger and your becoming a wiser and stronger then you have ever been before. If this didn't happen to you, you would never grown as much as you did in past 2 months, and no one cant take that away from you. And next time you fall in love, witch you will, your love will be more deeper and meaningful then it was ever before. Every day wont be the same, sometimes you will feel like ****, and some other days not so much. You will feel a lot better in time, life is like that and that's its beauty. Case if every days is beautiful and the birds are singing and the sun is shining every day of the year you wouldn't appreciate the light of the day and a birds song. And don't be afraid to let you heart love again, case its most natural thing in this unnatural world. He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life. Muhammad Ali 1
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