tehdavid Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Hello everyone I don't know who else in the world can help me with my dilema so I'm asking you: I'm 27 years old male and I always dreamt of finding a love and finding a person I can share everything with and I was very lonely until about 1 year go, I finally found someone, she's 22 and we spent the last year almost all the time together, and got to know each other quite well and we love each other (I guess.. who knows what love is really) . The problem is that we are very different and we fight constantly - mainly and especially when we are apart, I find her very dismissive towards me when she's not with me, when she has something else on her plate it feels like she doesn't find time for me and doesn't care really, when I confront her about it (I did many times) it leads to a fight and she claims I'm wrong, and it might lead later for her to give attention to me in a very "fake" way - like asking how's my day been but not really caring (I hope you understand what I mean), I know it sounds really clingy but I expect me girlfriend to care about me all time and to take real interest in what I'm going through as I will do the same, but with her it's a little bit superficial, I mean I know she doesn't mean bad it's just her character. This leads me to my dilema...I will find it very hard to seperate with her, I really gotten used to her and I never had something like that in my life and wanted it for so long..and who knows if I will get someone better..it's really hard for me..I hope someone can share some life experience that can help me. Thank you for reading.
TaraMaiden Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Yes, habits are hard to break, especially bad ones.... You're more invested in this than she is. She is treating this relationship almost like a stop-gap, until something better comes along. So for now, you're her 'soft place to fall.' You are more serious, but I predict if you don't end this now, she will end it a little further down the line, and we'll get the post from you: "My GF broke up with me, and I found out she was cheating...." She may not be cheating now, but this sounds very much like the kind of situation where she wouldn't dismiss the idea. It's a bit like bacon and eggs: The chicken (her) contributes, but the pork (you) is committed. bail out as soon as you can. She'll fry you up and eat you for breakfast, otherwise...
Author tehdavid Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 Thank you for the reply.. I really appreciate your take on this. I came one day to end with her because the way she acted that showed me she didn't care and she started crying really really bad and we made up.. that's why I have it such a hard time because a lot of the times it does seem she care about me and a lot of times it looks she really doesn't. it gets me so confused... I don't know what to do..
umirano Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 OP, your post is very unspecific. You use a lot of generalities like "like asking how's my day been but not really caring" and " it's just her character". I don't understand what exactly it is, that puts you off. How do you know she doesn't really care? What kind of character is she, in your view? Could you write down a few concrete experiences you had with her that bother you? And possibly a few positive ones, that make you feel so attached to her? From what I gather she's still pretty young, 22. It's possible that she isn't yet settling down and not ready to invest that much, emotionally, as of now.
Author tehdavid Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 OP, your post is very unspecific. You use a lot of generalities like "like asking how's my day been but not really caring" and " it's just her character". I don't understand what exactly it is, that puts you off. How do you know she doesn't really care? What kind of character is she, in your view? Could you write down a few concrete experiences you had with her that bother you? And possibly a few positive ones, that make you feel so attached to her? From what I gather she's still pretty young, 22. It's possible that she isn't yet settling down and not ready to invest that much, emotionally, as of now. I'll give you an example of what's been going on in the last few day, she's on vacation with her family out of town and you know I haven't seen her a few days (as I'm used to see her every day) and I want to talk her and see how she's doing etc and she barely finds the time to text me during the day (the texts are really uncaring and more about what she's been doing)...and I think to myself.. if this girl loves me like I do love her.. how is it possible? I mean..if she loves she would really love to see what's going on with me and hear my voice.
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