devindixen Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I'm a 29 year old guy, if that matters... I've basically been dating this girl for about 3 months.. We're not in a committed relationship. Honestly, I asked her to be my girlfriend last month but we have issues of religion and race. Think of it as a white guy being with a black girl. That's not what I am, since I'm not white, but that's just as an example. And I don't believe in god, while she's muslim. This is a problem we both don't have solution for, but anyways, she offered to be.. I don't know what you call it, but it's basically relationship, without status. Does that make sense? All she wanted was that if I ever got close to another girl, that I would let her know.. and vice versa. Well anyways, to the issue at hand. I made a mistake yesterday. I'm having all kinds of problems in my life.. work, and family, and this girl IMO has been distant for the past couple of weeks. So what happens is I asked her out to dinner after her work hours. She said okay, but she doesn't want to stay too long because of the traffic. I asked if she would just rather go home instead, and after thinking about it, she said yeah she wanted to go straight home. I'm feeling emotional at this moment because of my problems at work and family (she doesn't know about it), but I took it out on her. I told her I couldn't continue with this relationship because I felt she's not into me like in the past. I thanked her for stuff and said sorry about some stuff too... She responded saying "as you wish.. take care..." etc.. So today I realized I made a mistake and that I don't want her out of my life. I made an emotional decision. So I contacted her and I apoligized and asked for a second chance. She wouldn't give me one. One of the thing she said was that she didn't like people that threw her away. She said that she can only be friends, nothing more, nothing special. But I also get the sense that she's mad at me. Understandable. I'm just not sure now whether she actually wants to be friends or just for me to get the **** out of her life. Now I don't know what to do. What I know is that I want to try to make this work. Can you help me? What should I do? What I should not do? I'm thinking of giving her some space.. maybe a week.. and then send her some flowers at work and start off by being friends again so hopefully she would forgive me and have feelings again? Can that work?
darkmoon Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 (edited) who can know if that will work? you did it once you might do it again, in that you have brought in a new component to your association - so send something better, not just flowers only you dumped her, I think you want assurance from this forum, yes, but a planned bunch of flowers as a gift is f*ck all and a bit like planning to put a coin in a slot to get a result Edited January 10, 2013 by darkmoon
Author devindixen Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 Okay.. I might be asking the wrong question. Obviously no one knows what will work. But I do want to know what advises can you give me. What I should and shouldn't do. Judging by your response, I would be better off not sending the flower right? I'm just out of ideas right now. And usually when it's happening to me, I just can't think straight.
PogoStick Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 No don't chase her like that. Don't send flowers. It doesn't sound like she's into you. Religion is a serious concern and it's probably best to move on and find someone more compatible.
darkmoon Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Okay.. I might be asking the wrong question. Obviously no one knows what will work. But I do want to know what advises can you give me. What I should and shouldn't do. Judging by your response, I would be better off not sending the flower right? I'm just out of ideas right now. And usually when it's happening to me, I just can't think straight. i said 'not just flowers only' so it's flowers plus something else, make more effort to promise her you will never do it again, and you could also offer to prove your love to her (her call, then) not sure what other people here will say, you might be okay anyway
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