JackGreenman Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Hey guys. New to the boards. Stumbled across these forums after some cursory googling, and I have to say it's a great resource... Let me begin with the caveat that I've been out of the dating world for a LONG time. I'm 30 years old, and let's just say that I haven't really gone out on any FIRST dates for several years. So, I signed up for a well-known dating website (my first experience with online dating.) And fairly quickly, this woman messaged me. We met once for drinks, had a good time. Met again the next week for dinner, had an even better time. And I'm now on the eve of my third date with her. The thing is, I haven't gone in for that always-challenging first kiss yet. I've had a really great time with her, and I feel like this third date is the time to make a move. I just want to make sure I'm making the right decision... Here are the facts: - She messaged me on the dating site. - Because I've been playing a little hard to get, she's the one who's called and emailed asking about the subsequent dates. - We've had a genuinely good time whenever we've hung out. She's into me, right? I shouldn't be afraid to make the move at this third date, right? I guess it's all about feeling things out in the moment. As I'm sure you guys can tell, I'm pretty neurotic, and I feel like I've lost a bit of my game over the last few years... but I thought I would just see if anyone has any advice or input... Thanks ahead of time!
MrWindupBird Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Sounds like things are going good. A little trick I've used, and it almost always leads to the girl actually kissing me first (I talk a big game sometimes but I fear rejection like crazy so I look for ways to minimize the risk) so here it goes: Holding hands is easier than kissing. Just reach out, look down, and then look back to her and smile. If she's down, she'll probably give you her hand. Hold her hand, be very sweet with what you say. Be confident but don't be afraid to make fun of yourself. After a while, bring her hand up to your face and kiss the top of her palm, and tell her you like spending time with her. I've used that many times, and it pretty much always leads to a great first kiss. Just my experience, though. Take it for what you will. 2
soccerrprp Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 No tricks. I simply ask if I can kiss her. Never been rejected. Of course, I knew that we were into each other first.
the_entertainer1 Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 It sounds like she's into you. I don't think she would have agreed to a third date if she wasn't. To tell you the truth, I just got back from a 3rd date myself, with a guy who I met on an online dating site. Sounds similar to you! (except he messaged me first). He hadn't tried to kiss me on the first two dates, but earlier in the week, suggested we watch a DVD at his place after going to a game. I approached this date expecting that we would have kissed by the end of it. I must have sounded a little nervous, I guess, because he didn't invite me inside when we got back to his place. I suppose he picked up on my nerves earlier in the week and decided not to make a move, but after three dates and no kiss, I'm not particularly thrilled. My point is - make sure you read her signs correctly and be a little bit assertive, but thoughtful of her. From my own experiences, I can tell you that I am a little bit frustrated that he didn't pick up on the fact that I still wanted to kiss him, even though I was nervous. If she makes excuses to touch you, compliments you, smiles and laughs a lot and makes eye contact, she wants you to kiss her. Go for the kiss. If you haven't kissed her by the end of the third date, she'll probably assume you're not into her (that's what I'm assuming in my situation, lol. Oh well.) Good luck! 1
sabre80 Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Gotta stop worrying about rejection. Rejection from an attempted kiss will feel just as crappy as being rejected after 3 dates and no kiss. Think of the kiss not as a risk but as a tool. You do not say (especially at 30) "I like you do you like me check yes or no". You kiss her. You want to find out if she is into you or not? Kiss her. If she doesn't kiss back after 3 dates she isn't into you. Better to find out sooner than later or to be strung along. First kisses are one of the greatest things about dating someone new.
runningfar Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Kiss happens by the end if the third date. No doubt. Going in three dates with you is indicating she wants a kiss.
Recommended Posts