Onlyliveonce Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Hi this is my first post in fact first time on any forum like this. Well I'm 37 and have been seeing a woman 10yrs younger for the last 4 1/2 yrs It started off as abit if fun and sex but after a yr or so feelings came into we told each other how we felt but I just didn't want a relationship with her. We carried on having sex going way for weekends seeing each other few times a week she always wanted more but seemed ok with it. I have said hurtful things to her which I wish I could take back Anyway about 7mths ago she started to move on which I can't blame her for. But Iv realised how much I love her and want to be with her.she started dating one guy but we still had sex. Now shes on dating sites and going on dates few times a week it's killing me. Iv been chasing her for about 2mths but shes said she doesn't love me like she did I don't no what to do. We haven't had sex in 3 weeks and she never asks to see me it's always me. On tue she came round and I tried so hard to control my feelings but I messed up I tried it on and started telling her how I felt. She seems fine as shes dating and having fun but she still everyday and every night for last 4 yrs has said goodmorning and goodnight by text. I asked her why and she said she would stop then. Anyway she left upset and I sent a email yesterday telling her everything and saying I want to be with her. She text me saying I think we need time apart and if we're ment to be together we will be. I haven't replied and haven't heard anything since I'm going to go no contact but its driving me crazy I'm worried she ll meet someone and fall in love. I don't no if I have a chance or not I keep wishing my phone would go ((
Author Onlyliveonce Posted January 12, 2013 Author Posted January 12, 2013 This is so hard I must if wrote out 10 texts and deleted them. I can't help think she still has feelings for me. I thought she would of text but she hasn't and inreallyvwant to just say hello how are I'm missing here so much. She's out today on a second date but I can't help think shes just doing it to not think about me. I wish I new what she was thinking I don't want to break no contact but I don't think I can cope just want to say "hey how are you i miss you " Going nuts here
jovan Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 Mate there is nothing I can say that will help you deal with this problem, I don't even know how hurt you must be feeling right now. I mean I at least know that she doesn't want me back and I can move on. The more you wait for her, the more you will suffer. And theres a 90% chance that she won't come back to you ever again. Stay strong man, and if you need some1 to talk about it am right here!
HaveFaithxx Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 Hi, I really feel for you. I was there too a few weeks ago. But, the worst thing you can do at this point is continuing to text her. I have been in her position too, and I can say that it doesn't do so much. All it does is let them know that they can go out and sxplore what's out there and come back to you whenever they want to, so they will take their time if she does ever want to come back. I would send messages to my ex about once a week, never telling him how I felt about him, but just friendly texts telling him how I have been and asking how things are going with him. I wanted the lines of communication to be open so that it would be "easy" for him to come back if he wanted to. Then when I went back and read his replies, I realized how he was just being friendly back and doesn't feel so much for me anymore. Suddenly, it felt so degrading. I know there are other guys out there that would love to be with me, so why waste my time on someone that doesn't value me? NC is really painful in the beginning. But just keep reminding yourself that they aren't sitting at home thinking about you. It hurts but it made it so much easier for me. This article helps me a lot. I read it every morning. It's not because I want revenge, but to remind myself that it is his loss. I'm the girl that got away. Waging Revenge On Your Ex - AskMen
Author Onlyliveonce Posted January 12, 2013 Author Posted January 12, 2013 Iv managed not to text her so far but god it's hard. Just want to see how it's going . I really think she has a few feelings left for me or shes trying hard to keep the buried. Today is a bad day as I'm on my own at work all day just thinking. I no shes out on a second date but I can't help think it won't last. We did have something special and she hung around for yrs waiting for me(wish I wasn't so stupid) She did say last week that I didn't want to no when she wanted me and its always in my terms (I suppose shes right) That makes me think she might just be making me suffer. I'm going to just have to wait for abit il give it 2weeks. What if she contacts me before then? I feel so sick all the time and I now hate mobile phones haha
jovan Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 Well maybe best thing to do here is to stop her from contacting you for 2 week's. block her on social networks, and change a phone number. And call her up after 2 week's and ask her what's her decision. If she say's no or I don't know its not worth of saving and you can move on with your life.
Author Onlyliveonce Posted January 12, 2013 Author Posted January 12, 2013 I think if she hasn't contacted me in 2weeks it's safe too say shes moved on so I'm going to have to see what happens. It's just the waiting I hate can't focus on anything. We're not friends on any social networks we deleted each other mths ago. It's crazy one minute I think I'm fine then the next I'm thinking about her non stop. I just wish I new what she was thinking does she wish I would contact her or is she glad we've broke contact and it helps her move on. So many questions
jovan Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 Even if you had all the answer do you think you'd be satisfied? Ofc you wouldn't, trust me you don't even want to have any answer's case they would just brake you apart. Nothing good can come from that. Point is even if you had answer's it would raise even more question's. And I don't even want to talk about understanding the answers, that's even more impossible. Woman huh -.- What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman. ~ Lord Byron
Author Onlyliveonce Posted January 12, 2013 Author Posted January 12, 2013 Yeah your right. Just miss her and really want to her from here. I'm finding it so hard not to text her would even a hey how have you been be such a bad thing . I really want us to be together I'm not sure she knows that
jovan Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 well that's all natural. My 5 year relationship is over and i miss her so much that I have problems remembering to breathe. It's almoust 4 week's now since were not 2gether and its killing me. But if she doesn't care about us, why should I? And every day is its own battle against your self. Self control, it will make your stronger wiser and prouder! You will feel even worse if you do contact her. I say try to live your life like you used to before her. If she come's around you can work things out, but try for now to live your life like she's not going to come back. That way you can get some perspective on this whole situation and it will help you make a right decision. Aim low and you'll never be disappointed! 1
Author Onlyliveonce Posted January 12, 2013 Author Posted January 12, 2013 Thank you for that advice I need to sort myself out. I was just about to text her and checked here first so glad I did I will try not to contact her now. I miss her so much
jovan Posted January 12, 2013 Posted January 12, 2013 Just stop saying to your self that you won't meet any1 like her, case that will just lead you in a deeper hole. You will find some1 better in time. This is a temporary feeling and it passes in time.
Author Onlyliveonce Posted January 12, 2013 Author Posted January 12, 2013 I sort of no that but I would of been happy with her so so happy. I no there be more woman out there and I'm sure il have this feeling again it's just I don't want to let her go I love her. Worse thing is I didn't realise till it was too late
Author Onlyliveonce Posted January 13, 2013 Author Posted January 13, 2013 I'm missing her so much I can't cope with n/c Anymore Going to text her today I think just to let her no I'm thinking about her. I'm not sure if she really has moved on part of me thinks after all we been through she must have feelings for me. I don't no what to do ????
irene408 Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 I know how you feel. I'm having one of those weak moments myself. But I just keep reminding myself that I was on the other end before and let me tell you how I felt when I was the one running away... My ex of 2 years broke up with me because we had different values. I don't remember exactly how the breakup happened but he dumped me for sure. I did miss him, but I was also relieved that he left because I was tired of all the fights and waiting for him to change. I begged for him to come back initially and he said no, saying nothing would ever work out. Then I stopped talking to him completely. Soon after, he started telling me that it was a big mistake and he wanted me back. So we started to hang out and got back together a few weeks later. Then he broke up with me again for the same reason. And this time I just had enough. I didn't want anything to do with him. A few week went by and he wanted to talk again. I ignored him. Then he started begging and pleading and let me tell you, that's VERY unattractive. If we had sat down and talk about it, maybe I wouldn't resist it as badly as I did. But he was texting/emailing/IMing all the time just BEGGING. Then he started leaving me flowers and letters on my work desk (we worked for the same company). Every time I saw it my heart would ache a little, because I did love him and miss him. But all the begging pushed me further away from him because it was just annoying and I needed time to think. The truth is, I did miss him and if it was done right, I probably would take him back. But begging just won't work especially when she's decided that she doesn't want to wait around anymore. And as harsh as it may sound, there is a time when enough is enough. She waited around for 4 years, she's probably at the point where she just wants to move on. If you want her back, you'll have to ease yourself back into her life slowly but you probably shouldn't be bothering her right now. You'll come off desperate, if not stalkerish. That's how I felt about my ex... I know how you feel. I want my most recent ex back, too. We broke up 3.5 weeks ago and we've been on low contact. I've decided to go NC starting this past Wednesday. You can do this. Have faith in yourself. The first few days are the hardest (I gave in and texted him 2 days after the breakup) but it does get easier.
Author Onlyliveonce Posted January 13, 2013 Author Posted January 13, 2013 It's so hard. Last contact we had was 5 days ago I sent her an email just letting her no what I was thinking and how I felt. She replyied later that day saying I think we need time apart and if we're ment to be together we will be. I never replyied and not heard anything since. I just want her to no I'm missing her so much hat if shes just being stubborn and not contacting me. I no shes busy alot and was in a date all day yesterday. I don't even care about that I just want to no how shes feeling. I can't see how I can ease my way back into her life. Iv not contacted her yet but it's getting so close
Author Onlyliveonce Posted January 13, 2013 Author Posted January 13, 2013 Iv gone and text **** **** ****. I just text "hey"name" how you doing?? Had no reply and don't think I will now but least il no shes moved on if she doesn't reply.. Don't feel to bad about doing it but I think I will later
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