lawschoolromance Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I am feeling depressed because my girlfriend seems to not care about me anymore. I am just so tired of the disappointments in my relationships. This started at the beginning of law school a few months back during the fall. I met her and we clicked right away and started doing everything together. This might have been what has caused the problems. We spent time everyday and studied together, then went out to eat and with free time go do something relaxing. It came to finals after a few months and she slowly started to resent my flaws. I would complain and get nervous about taking law finals but she would hate that I complain, thinking it is unnecessary. Then after finals she stopped hugging me or kissing me. In the past month we have maybe kissed like 3 times. I talked to her and she said it was all the little things I did that annoyed her and wanted her to have space from me. She did not tell me ever that these little things would bug her to this point and I did not know I was causing her to lose attraction. But what bothered me was that she brought me over the winter break to her area to visit her parents and one night just left me at her place and went out to party with her friends. She came home the next day while I was alone in her place watching TV. I was very angry and somehow forgave her for treating me like I am worthless. We came back and I found out she missed her ex. She never deleted him off Facebook or her phone even though I was bothered by the fact that they still talk. She said she was not fully over him. But supposedly now she is but she still has yet to kiss me. I have been sweet to her and I have left her alone after being hurt by her criticisms and mean attitude towards me. So far I have made little progress but it seems to be getting better. I am just frustrated that how someone who thought I was so perfect suddenly sees my flaws as horrible. She has flaws too but I don't use that as means to not want to spend time with her. I thought by law school people would stop playing games and recognize when they really want someone and not just live for the moment until that initial excitement stage dies out. I don't know if that is what it is or not but I am just depressed. I don't know if this is going to work out or not but I am tired of the way girls act these days. They have this attitude that there should be no restraint on what they do and if they hang out with other guys or go places partying or drinking without me it is totally ok but if I ever do it I am in the wrong. Their standard is ridiculous. I feel like I am always attracted to the career woman and that has cost me from the lack of affection they offer. Not trying to be biased but from what I see I realized I cannot ever be truly happy because I want that loving caring person at home one day and she can also be someone with a professional career. I don't think that exists. If anyone is a lawyer or doctor who is caring and genuinely sweet let me know because I need to see it to believe it. Otherwise I don't know if I am in a fantasy life or if I should be meeting someone who possesses these qualities. Someone affectionate who is hard working and appreciates my efforts and the way I am. My girlfriend seemed to possess it all and now she is lacking things. But again I do not know for certain whether this is just a phase or she really is like this all the time and gave me a fake front for the first 3 months. I guess I need time to realize that answer. I guess I would appreciate it if I could hear some comments on what I can do.
antineutrino Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 [1] I'm not sure if this is applicable to your situation, but I'll just throw it out there -- I would avoid getting into relationships with 1L section-mates. Although I have heard of successful romances that have developed from this, the vast majority are horror stories (it's rather incestuous). [2] Why do you think people in law school have stopped playing games? Most students are still in their young to mid 20s (especially if you're not at Northwestern). Law school is extremely cliqueish. Just because people are in professional school doesn't mean they have suddenly matured. [3] It does sound like you guys spent a lot of time together. Based on your story, it wouldn't surprise me if this is the cause of a lot of your problems. [4] I don't know of any law students who don't complain constantly about finals (at least 1Ls). It sounds like she may have just been annoyed with your complaining in general (this seems to loop back with #3). [5] It sounds like you just got swept up in the initial romance and things have worn off. I say break things off and get a fresh mind before second semester starts. Grades are everything and you don't want something like this nagging on your mind all semester.
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