Enjaycee Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Hi. I haven't been onto this site in quite some time. I went through a break-up last summer with my first love and was riddled with all the emotional trauma and stuff for quite a while. After many trials and tribulations, I've finally moved on and I believe I'm in the right state of mind to try again. I've been actively looking for a new relationship via online dating websites (there are many beautiful women in my area, but I guess I don't have the confidence to try to talk to them in person). I've gotten in contact with many girls in my area, but there is one girl in particular who I am really interested in actually meeting. We messaged each other since Christmas on a dating website, and just about a week ago, I got her number and we've moved to texting each other every day. This woman is, I feel, the total package. She's beautiful, intelligent, sweet, and she's even well "endowed" (AND she even enjoys video games!), but the best part is is that she likes me! I haven't actually talked to her on the phone yet, so I don't know what her true personality is actually like yet. A couple setbacks, though. First is that she lives 5-6 hours away from me. Second, I'm a broke college kid, 20 years old going on 21, with no job at the moment (actively looking) with less than $100 in savings (to go see her for a weekend includes costs for gas for a round trip, a hotel for a night or two, money for dates, and money in order to take care of my own needs, plus some extra for emergencies should something come up). Maybe right now I'm still smitten, but I think I really want to come out to meet this girl, even for just a weekend for a few dates. And I mean I actually want to date her, not have a one-night stand. The question is, should I even consider going out of my way for this one girl? Would it be worth doing something like this? I need insight, for I am torn between logic and emotions at the moment. I appreciate any and all opinions, encouragement/discouragement, and similar experiences from everybody. Thank you to anyone who reads this.
MrCastle Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 You have some options. I too am a broke college kid. When it comes to spending money, I usually am an emotional spender and will buy things that will make me happy at that moment in time as opposed to saving up long term for things that make sense. So, if I was you, I'd more than likely burn my money if I knew it was gonna be a killer weekend. When I say killer weekend, I mean nothing but sex, food, video games, and more sex, with a girl I thought was smoking hot. I'd gladly spend money for those memories. A relationship is not possible because of the distance, unless you're into the long distance thing (I'm not). On the flip side, you may fall for this girl and it would seriously complicate things you being broke and living so far away from her. Or she could fall for you. Either way, it would spell trouble. I would lay some ground rules and tell her straight up. Look, obviously it would be hard to get a relationship going because of the distance and financial situation at the moment. Let's just have the best weekend we can. And dude, do everything, I mean anything you ever wanted to do sexually, try to get that **** done, bro. All different positions. Video games naked. Eating naked. Pretty much everything naked. You shouldn't wear clothes the entire weekend. Just food, video games, and sex. Lots of the latter. If you could get it to work out like that, it would be well worth the price of admission.
Porter Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I haven't actually talked to her on the phone yet, so I don't know what her true personality is actually like yet. Do not drive that far to meet someone that you've never talked on the phone with or video chatted with. Video chat is way better. If you don't have them on FB, or you do but they don't have many pictures, all the pictures were uploaded on the same day, they don't have many friends or they have their friends list hidden, they are fake. Pop their images into Google Images and see what comes up. That is a terrible idea, honestly. There are many people who are on OLD with fake profiles. You don't want to waste you gas and time just to find out that she doesn't exist. If it seems to good to be true it probably is. Watch Catfish (movie and or TV show). If you have proof that she is real and is exactly who she says she is, then have fun. But do not go without proof.
gaius Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I need insight, for I am torn between logic and emotions at the moment. I appreciate any and all opinions, encouragement/discouragement, and similar experiences from everybody. Thank you to anyone who reads this. If she's on your mind you should go see her. Better than subjecting some other poor local woman to a date while you're busy thinking about a girl that isn't her. I agree with porter though, get her on the phone first just to make sure. There was one girl I got a little obsessed with who was about that distance away from me, so I planned a day trip down to near where she was. I picked a location that wasn't exactly next door to her but had plenty of other stuff for me to do so it would be fun either way in case something happened and I got cancelled on. Plus she would have to travel a little herself so it wasn't a totally one sided thing. Needless to say she showed up and our early dinner date turned into an 8 hour first date. I'm glad I did it. If you can make it happen financially by skimping on other things or getting part time work then go for it. Life is short man. Be aggressive about what you want and enjoy it.
Casablanca Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 My advice, don't start dating anyone who lives more than an hour away 1
crude Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 If she's not willing to split the cost of gas, hotels, meals, then it sounds like a one sided relationship. Figure on spending 1/2 the cost, not all of it. If she doesn't agree, then the relationship is all in your head, because she's just not that into you.
D-Lish Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 I'd set up some video chats prior to going to meet her. I met someone online some years back and we spent a few months chatting most evenings on Skype before deciding to meet. Pictures and emails are one thing- but you'd get a much better sense for the person that you're talking to if you had some video chats.
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