Breathe Posted August 19, 2004 Posted August 19, 2004 When it's the first day of the break up - and you know he's not coming back - (he's wronged you and he doesn't deserve you) but your scared, your loney, your crazy upset crying.... how do you get the strength to go on? How do you do the no contact? All I want to do is beg him to come home and he doesn't want to ever speak to me again - he's found someone else????
bye2past Posted August 19, 2004 Posted August 19, 2004 My ex and I had a 3-year relationship that was wonderful. But it was hell when we broke up. I cried so much, I didn't even know I could be in such pain. I had no idea what to expect, what to think, who to talk to, what to do....nothing! It felt so cold, lonely, and hopeless... I spent a couple of days on the couch, eating ice cream and watching TV, letting those feelings wash over me, and sink into me...I figured, I can't just ignore the pain, so I might as well face it head on and fight my way through. I knew we had to do the NC thing, because even though I hated it, I knew the break up was for the best....and if we talked, we might get back together, which would be an even bigger mistake. I kept saying to myself, crying, how am I going to be single again? I just want to be back together again with her.... And then it hit me.... I'm single again. I can do anything I want!! The renewed feeling of freedom opened my eyes and snapped me out of the funk that I was in. All of a sudden, I felt like I could take charge of my life and do things on my own and not have to worry about anyone else. I could actually just concentrate on me! I felt like going anywhere and doing anything I wanted because I could. The feeling was just so wonderful, that it motivates me to this day (4 years later!) to be completely independent, and find a woman (who I have now) that really fits with the true ME. For now, my advice would be to cry as much as possible, but realize that NC is really for the best. If you contact him and try to get back together, are you really going to be happier? As hard as it is to believe right now, there IS happiness at the end of this dark tunnel. (As an addendum, a couple of days after we broke up, my GF visited me, and we talked and had sex one last time. It was marvelous and we've never had ill-will towards each other since then. And yes, I was the one who broke things off, just as your ex-boyfriend did.)
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