Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 No. I don't know, that is why I asked. If you can't come up with a single reason why it is the most important thing in life, I think you really need to do some soul-searching. As for your degree, I wish you nothing but the best in finding a career. While I don't know what career "justice studies" leads to, please be careful in putting the cart before the horse. I know two people who have B.A. degrees in criminal justice. One works as a security guard for a night-club. The other sits in a security booth infront of a parking lot. Neither of them make enough to support a child. That isn't to say that you should base your decision on having children entirely upon financial security. Almost anyone can lose their job at any moment. However, be prepared to the possibility that it could take many years before you are financially secure. I think it is important because you are bringing a life into the world. I can't describe it, I just know how much I love my mom and stuff and I want someone to feel like that about me.
TaraMaiden Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I think it is important because you are bringing a life into the world. I can't describe it, I just know how much I love my mom and stuff and I want someone to feel like that about me. God, three posts and you've already lost track of the question. "Why do you think it's important to be a parent?" Cannot be answered by ...."because you are bringing a life into the world." You need to be able to describe it - especially in light of my 'dissertation question'. Throw in the divorce rate, and there's even less good reasons.... And how you feel about your mum is unique. How your child will feel about you, will also be unique. Not the same. And it might not be the same - in not a good way. 2
terlislee Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 (edited) So you deserve to have love and kids more than some poor woman living in a slum? Based on the fact you were lucky enough to have the upbringing and resources that enabled you to get a good education and have a very easy road through life so far compared to the majority of people in the world. Give me a break. None of this makes you a nicer or a better person than anyone. Edited January 10, 2013 by terlislee 5
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 (edited) So you deserve to have love and kids more than some poor woman living in a slum? Based on the fact you were lucky enough to have the upbringing and resources that enabled you to get a good education and have a very easy road through life so far compared to the majority of people in the world. Give me a break. None of this makes you a nicer or a better person than anyone. It's not really the love part as much as the kids, poor people should hold on on kids until they aren't as poor. I saw a funny sticker that said "if you can't feed em, don't breed em" and I think that applies. As far as long everyone deserves it but I guess I'm having a hard time with the fact that I'm having such a hard time finding it. It's taking so long. I'm not gonna give up though!! Edited January 10, 2013 by ImperfectionisBeauty
stillafool Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I am more deserving than some of the people I know... but I mean overall no but there are a few. I just feel like if you're a good person bad things shouldn't always happen to you. IB do you really think you are a good person? A good person would not be so jealous of other people and question why God gave them children. Do you not think this attitude of yours comes across to men? You need to get back in therapy about your jealousy. Talk about self entitlement - geesh!
april38 Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person | Cracked.com Some of you need to probably read this a few times. Loved this article - it speaks a lot of truth. Every time I add something to my repetoire of skills, I feel better about me. Just last year I got open-water dive certified, this year I'm learning to ski. Anyway, thanks for the article!! 1
Mrlonelyone Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Well whatever you do PLEASE don't go dye your hair red and shoot up a movie theater Whatever you do don't go on the involuntary celibacy led shooting spree. Actually that guy supposedly had lots of interest on online dating and adult friend finder. So he got laid on the regular and was still a nut bag.
Necris Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Looking at the world, it is obvious that if there is a god, that god does not care for us. There is so much suffering and injustice in the world that I am losing faith in humanity itself. However, I am doing somethng about finding a girl. I am actively approaching girls and expanding my social circle. i also am improving my physical self. I will do whatever it takes to get a girl, even if I have to resort to breaking up a couple. Or maybe God wants to give humans free will to choose between good and evil, rather than just making puppets. Also if God always interfered with humanity, while the quality of life would be heavenly, humans would never become intelligent we would never develop anything or do anything just let God take care of us, basically Garden of Eden except instead of taking the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, humanity takes the fruit of the Tree of Life. Anyway good for you, for keeping a positive attitude and trying to help yourself. Though the breaking up a couple bit, hope you don't try to do that, besides messing with the lives of others, you really don't want a girl that unloyal. If she's willing to cheat with you, she's going to cheat on you.
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 IB do you really think you are a good person? A good person would not be so jealous of other people and question why God gave them children. Do you not think this attitude of yours comes across to men? You need to get back in therapy about your jealousy. Talk about self entitlement - geesh! Actually I know I'm a good person thanks..and who are you to question it? You only know what I post you don't know me in regular life. Everyone gets jealous so what.?
xxoo Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 What have you done to create the reality you desire? The love you get often reflects the love you give. 2
Mr Scorpio Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I want to eventually go to law school, but before that I would love to work for the department of youth services with young juvenile delinquents. That sounds like a noble career choice. However, how many other people -- with experience -- want the same position as you? As for law-school, that is a whole other world unto itself. The workload is intense, the hiring rates are terrible. If you do become a lawyer, the demands on your personal time are immense. Raising a child is hard enough. Raising a child when you're working 60 hours a week? Ouch.
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 What have you done to create the reality you desire? The love you get often reflects the love you give. I online date, I am constantly looking for a guy, I men literally always. I constantly am checking out guys, all my friends are like "maybe once you stop looking" but I don't know how to not look. I'm putting so much effort into dating and getting nothing in return
Mrlonelyone Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Just look at the judgements heaped upon the long term single in this very thread. The OP and SD and a few others are just saying what they feel. Odds are these are people for whom, life is good overall but for that special someone. One poster who's in IT mentions how he has a good job, can afford nice things, probably has a good education but just can't find someone to love him. To me that is profoundly sad. No amount of tough talk is going to change that fact only a good woman. Whenever these people show us a picture they are never half as bad looking as they say they are. In fact often they are quite nice looking in their pictures. Add a good job and overall good life....plus seeing people who aren't that different from you in relationships...it brings home the question "Whats wrong with me?" So don't judge them. Someday there is a 100% chance just by accident someone somewhere will love them at least for a while. Until that happens they have every right to wonder what's wrong with them. @The OP and others. I don't know that there is anything wrong with us. Just unlucky. In my case folks can point to my gender identity presentation not being standard...but for the fact that plenty of people like me just like me are in relationships with all kinds of people. From married crossdressers to gay female to male transmen to transwomen models dating new york firefighter...all kinds of people in my situation are in relationships. What makes me different than those people? I know plenty of other people who are as deeply interested in science as I am who are in relationships so that's not necessarily a problem. Near as I can tell the only thing that differentiates me from them is the blind luck of meeting someone who was interesting to them, interested in them, and available to them. Each of us can point to a group of people broadly similar to ourselves who are in relationships. Try to draw some hope from the fact that people like you are in relationships and it's just a matter of luck and time before it happens to you. 1
monicaelise Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Actually I know I'm a good person thanks..and who are you to question it? You only know what I post you don't know me in regular life. Everyone gets jealous so what.? And just who are you to judge who does/doesn't "deserve" anything? You have, totally irrationally and quite comfortably, have levied your judgments against complete strangers throughout this entire thread without so much as batting an eye. Not everyone gets jealous. Some folks have enough sense to know that what they think they see and what really is are two separate things. Grown ups also know the concept of merit has no place in discussions about things like this. I think it's probably for the best that you are not in a relationship (whether you "deserve" one or not lol!) right now as your sense of entitlement would likely undermine anything that might remotely look like a healthy relationship. You earn a paycheck, not a partner. 4
Treasa Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I online date, I am constantly looking for a guy, I men literally always. I constantly am checking out guys, all my friends are like "maybe once you stop looking" but I don't know how to not look. I'm putting so much effort into dating and getting nothing in return How do I put this? Men (and women) can sense desperation. No man wants to feel like a filler, or a nondescript plastic groom atop a wedding cake. You said it yourself. You're constantly looking for "a guy." 3
xxoo Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 What have you done to create the reality you desire? The love you get often reflects the love you give. I online date, I am constantly looking for a guy, I men literally always. I constantly am checking out guys, all my friends are like "maybe once you stop looking" but I don't know how to not look. I'm putting so much effort into dating and getting nothing in return Looking for guys isn't what I meant. I mean what do you do to present yourself to the world as a woman who would be a great partner and mother? 1
Mrlonelyone Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 How do I put this? Men (and women) can sense desperation. No man wants to feel like a filler, or a nondescript plastic groom atop a wedding cake. You said it yourself. You're constantly looking for "a guy." How else is she supposed to find a guy if not by looking?
Treasa Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 How else is she supposed to find a guy if not by looking? I don't know...maybe getting a life herself and being happy with it? Men (and women) are drawn to happy people with their own interests. I don't constantly having to be looking for a guy to get one. Often it's because of my interests and having fun that I meet guys. Martial arts, at the gym, hiking, etc. It's kind of amazing how much you can draw people to you when you're having fun and are really positive about life.
april38 Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I online date, I am constantly looking for a guy, I men literally always. I constantly am checking out guys, all my friends are like "maybe once you stop looking" but I don't know how to not look. I'm putting so much effort into dating and getting nothing in return Have you read that article posted by tman666 yet? It's about instead of looking for love, be the person that people are looking for. It's really worth a read. I can see where if we spend more time improving ourselves and making ourselves more useful to others, the less we will be focused on the constant search, and the more we become desirable to others. Please read it with an open mind, I think there's something to gain from it. 3
xxoo Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 How else is she supposed to find a guy if not by looking? People meet and fall in love when following other passions all the time. Be open to it, but not focused on it. 1
Mrlonelyone Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 People meet and fall in love when following other passions all the time. Be open to it, but not focused on it. For the other person to find you they have to be looking. 1
Treasa Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 For the other person to find you they have to be looking. A lot of people who get married do so because they met because of a common interest, weren't looking for someone special or expecting it to happen, but it grew from a conversation. 1
xxoo Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 For the other person to find you they have to be looking. You just have to be thrown into the same social environment together, someway or somehow. Chemistry can do the rest. Haven't you ever had the experience of meeting someone at work or school, and just developing a crush because they are so (insert amazing-ness here)? 1
terlislee Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 It's not really the love part as much as the kids, poor people should hold on on kids until they aren't as poor. I saw a funny sticker that said "if you can't feed em, don't breed em" and I think that applies. As far as long everyone deserves it but I guess I'm having a hard time with the fact that I'm having such a hard time finding it. It's taking so long. I'm not gonna give up though!! I suggest you do some reading on eugenics, the Nazis were big fans. You seem to live in some fairy tale world where people can just do something and suddenly not be as poor. If your theory applied billions of women shouldn't have kids at all. Of course no mother wants to see her child starve, but it's never as black and white as you think. Every woman has a right to have a child no matter how rich or poor. I'm sure you are well loved by people who care about you. Romantic love is only a part of your human experience and doesn't happen for everyone and whenever they want, it's not something you are owed or that defines what value you have as a person. Also, you are very young so I doubt "it's taking so long". 2
Drseussgrrl Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Omg, Imperfectionisbeauty. AGAIN?? You know what I just did? Booked a trip to London. By myself. To see a band I want to see and stay for a week. I'm staying in a hostel and I plan to meet a ton of new people from around the world and get drunk all over foggy London town. You can't do that when you're stuck with a husband and straddled with kids, living in enlisted housing on some military base miles away from family. Take this time to do all the awesome things you dream of. Once you get married you can kiss all those possibilities good bye, and you have PLENTY of time for that stuff later anyway. Edited to add: I'm single and don't have a boyfriend. Don't give a rip, either, I'm gonna do what I want in the meantime! 3
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