TaraMaiden Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I have dated I spent all of 2012 practically dating Your dating was anything but practical.....
TouchedByViolet Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Even the people who "get it easy" have problems, and just because they have it easy doesn't mean they're happy. Lots of grey area here. People who can get dates and relationships easily have the responsibility to choose someone who is good for them. Some people make their own problems where as others are dealt a hand full of problems. I have much less empathy for people who create their own misfortune.
ThaWholigan Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Ok so you are in support of bums having kids.. Cool I get it now. I do deserve kids because I'm a good person and by the time I have them I will be able to provide You are not that different from the people you chastise to be honest. Not saying you're a jobless bum, but my guess is the mentalities between you and them would be frighteningly similar. They are probably as obsessed with getting into relationships and having babies as you are. Something to think about......
TaraMaiden Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 This sounds ridiculous. Of course some people deserve more than others. I think you all are confusing "deserving" with the fact that life simply isn't fair. **** happens and you have to deal with it. There is no one balancing the scales. Some people get it easy and others get it hard, it's life. Which is exactly what I pointed out in my post. The roller-coaster of life.
SunsetRed Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I've had the same thought. When I go to really fun places, like the boardwalk on the beach or an amusement park, I see couples young and old, holding hands and walking around together and I think "how did those women get that?" When I am in a relationship, we don't do those fun things together. We either do whatever the guy wants to do or we stay inside and all he wants to do is have sex. So, I have more fun when I'm single and have chosen that, but still I wonder if there's more out there and why is it being blocked from me. Now that I'm 45, I've developed a great life for myself in terms of where and how I live. So, now being single actually works for me as I could risk losing some of this by getting involved with someone and then having it not work out. At this point in my life, I'm NOT moving or making major life changes for anyone as if it didn't work out, I'd have to pick up and start all over again and 45 + years is too old to be doing that. Even though I struggle w singleness, I've also come into acceptance that maybe this is just the way its supposed to be for me, so I should just be thankful for what I have. I know of 2 very sad and true stories of young women, both 24 years old, who married young to great men who loved and cherished them. Sadly, both women were brutally murdered and died young and never got to live out there lives w their husbands. So, marrying the love of your life doesn't guarantee a long life filled w happiness. As a single, lonely person, I still have more than these women have because I still get to live my life. For the most part, I am happy w my life and I see how some of my decisions have kept me single and I'm at peace w it. Its only every now and then in one of my pity party lonely moments that I do the Why Me thing and wonder.. 1
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 Who the hell are you to say they don't - if they want children as much as you do? What gives you the right to climb on your moral high horse and decide in your mind who deserves what?? I don't think you deserve to have children ever, because you live in cloud cuckoo land and have delusions about what it's like to have kids - you are extremely misguided - but does that give me a right to determine you don't deserve kids?? Absolutely not! It's utterly unthinkable! I know you think I have a distorted view of kids and stuff but I know it isn't so good. My best friend has twin brothers who are 2 and I stayed at their house when they were maybe 3 months old and we couldn't get a full nights sleep because they just kept crying for absolutely nothing and it was annoying but in the end I feel like if I was a parent it would be worth it. I'm not actively trying to get pregnant because I know I'm not ready but I just think its so important to be a parent.. Like the most important thing you will ever do.
TaraMaiden Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 It's a shame though, when people equate being alone, with being lonely. I know many married people who are frighteningly lonely. 3
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I have dated I spent all of 2012 practically dating What you described is not what is commonly viewed as "dating," especially not with an eye to developing a mature, well founded long term relationship that could lead to marriage and a family. You have never even taken a step in that direction. And how about abandoning the word "deserve" in talking abut your feeling of entitlement to have a prince charming and lots of babies immediately? BTW, you are not necessarily ANY "better" than a bum. You obviously have a more comfortable lifestyle, which would be nice for a child. That is all. 1
Treasa Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Soooo...my mom, who married a man who wasn't abusive until I came along and he started abusing me, and then lost her job due to a recession, didn't deserve me? Because she was a young, "jobless bum" with a small child? BAD THINGS HAPPEN to people. Your life can be great, and bad things can still happen to you despite how you think it's going to turn out. My mom's had a very hard life. She sacrificed everything so that I would get the things I needed. She's not also taking care of her brother, my uncle, who has a form of Parkinson's and can't live alone and can't afford to live in a care facility. It's called "realizing that life isn't fair, and not bitching about it." My mom is a survivor. My mom is happy, despite having a lot of challenges in her life. She is happy independent of hardships! And in my opinion, she is WAY ahead of you. So go ahead, assume your life will be sunshine and roses, and that you'll never face anything harder than not finding a guy to make babies with. When you leave fantasy land, we can chat about this again. 2
Mr Scorpio Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I'm not actively trying to get pregnant because I know I'm not ready but I just think its so important to be a parent.. Like the most important thing you will ever do. Why do you think it is important to be a parent?
Treasa Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 She's not also taking care of her brother, my uncle, who has a form of Parkinson's and can't live alone and can't afford to live in a care facility. Now, not not. 1
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 What you described is not what is commonly viewed as "dating," especially not with an eye to developing a mature, well founded long term relationship that could lead to marriage and a family. You have never even taken a step in that direction. And how about abandoning the word "deserve" in talking abut your feeling of entitlement to have a prince charming and lots of babies immediately? BTW, you are not necessarily ANY "better" than a bum. You obviously have a more comfortable lifestyle, which would be nice for a child. That is all. I mean I practically have a college degree, then ill have a job then ill get a place so I'm not a jobless bum. I understand the comparison but I'm not. Ok so tell me what direction my dating life needs to go in to make me marriage and mommy ready?
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 College degree in.... what? Justice studies with a pre-law minor.
Treasa Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 College degree in.... what? Delusional thinking.
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 Why do you think it is important to be a parent? I don't know, it just is so important you know? It's the most important thing you can do
TaraMaiden Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Justice studies with a pre-law minor. You're kidding me.... I hate to say it, but I'd be worried with your judgemental thinking.... I'm sorry, but you really do need to evaluate your opinions, because the prejudice you show is like weighing the facts with your thumb on those ol' justice scales. 1
Treasa Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I don't know, it just is so important you know? It's the most important thing you can do I miss being young and having no real world experience and yet knowing everything. Those were the days.
TaraMaiden Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I don't know, it just is so important you know? It's the most important thing you can do Ok, take this as your dissertation: "Why is having children the most important thing you can do, when you consider the rise in crime, the disproportionate distribution of wealth and the global resources that are already at a stretch?" 3000 words. By Monday. Thanks. 1
Mr Scorpio Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I don't know, it just is so important you know? It's the most important thing you can do No. I don't know, that is why I asked. If you can't come up with a single reason why it is the most important thing in life, I think you really need to do some soul-searching. As for your degree, I wish you nothing but the best in finding a career. While I don't know what career "justice studies" leads to, please be careful in putting the cart before the horse. I know two people who have B.A. degrees in criminal justice. One works as a security guard for a night-club. The other sits in a security booth infront of a parking lot. Neither of them make enough to support a child. That isn't to say that you should base your decision on having children entirely upon financial security. Almost anyone can lose their job at any moment. However, be prepared to the possibility that it could take many years before you are financially secure. 1
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 You're kidding me.... I hate to say it, but I'd be worried with your judgemental thinking.... I'm sorry, but you really do need to evaluate your opinions, because the prejudice you show is like weighing the facts with your thumb on those ol' justice scales. I can put my judgement aside while working. I had to do if a lot as an intern I know I could. I hope as I get older ill get better at it too.
tman666 Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Some of the comments in this thread make me sick. "Maybe an incel related shooting would get society to listen." (or something to that effect from Sun Devil) Are you ****ing kidding me?? So innocent people that have done nothing to harm you in any way should pay the ultimate price because society "doesn't listen"? What kind of bizarre, narcissistic, self entitled world does one have to live in for that concept to ring true? Disgusting. "God hates us, waaaaaaaaah" Listen you ****ing whiners: the opposite sex, society, god/the gods, the universe, etc. owes you NOTHING. The entire concept of YOU being OWED anything is laughable and exhibits how a small child might view the world. Grow up. Grow the balls necessary to adapt to accomplish your goals. I posted this before on here, but it bears repeating: 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person | Cracked.com Some of you need to probably read this a few times. 10
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 No. I don't know, that is why I asked. If you can't come up with a single reason why it is the most important thing in life, I think you really need to do some soul-searching. As for your degree, I wish you nothing but the best in finding a career. While I don't know what career "justice studies" leads to, please be careful in putting the cart before the horse. I know two people who have B.A. degrees in criminal justice. One works as a security guard for a night-club. The other sits in a security booth infront of a parking lot. Neither of them make enough to support a child. That isn't to say that you should base your decision on having children entirely upon financial security. Almost anyone can lose their job at any moment. However, be prepared to the possibility that it could take many years before you are financially secure. I want to eventually go to law school, but before that I would love to work for the department of youth services with young juvenile delinquents.
somedude81 Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 All around us society is constantly telling us that we should be in a loving relationship. Love is a very common themes in all forms of media. It can also make one feel that they deserve to be in a relationship and something is wrong with them if they aren't. Of course humans have a natural desire for companionship as well. Throw in the sex drive and things start to get pretty complicated when you're alone for long periods of time.
Treasa Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Ok, take this as your dissertation: "Why is having children the most important thing you can do, when you consider the rise in crime, the disproportionate distribution of wealth and the global resources that are already at a stretch?" 3000 words. By Monday. Thanks. That's pretty light. How about 40 pages, at least 10 sources supporting facts? I wrote papers like that for my undergrad.
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