ImperfectionisBeauty Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Ok just thinking mostly everyone on here has some type of relationship issue, what did we do to deserve such a horrible tough time in dating? Like I was on this girls fb and she is 25 married to a super hot marine and has 2 small kids... How did we get so effed over? I mean I'm sure we don't deserve this alone single loneliness you know? Just thinking... 1
Bito Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 So much wrong with what you just said. Because some girl looks happy on her facebook you Think she has never had problems? And there is nothing wrong with being single. 10
suladas Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Everyone has different paths. I don't see the big deal. Would you rather have 2 or 3 kids and be alone struggling to make ends meet at this point in your life? Because I know tons of people like that and I wouldn't think of trading places with them. And before you know it i'm sure you'll find someone, just be patient and enjoy what you have now 1
Sanctionne Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I am wondering the same thing. So many ppl out there looking for love. Want to be loved, yet there are so many ppl suffering from a broken heart. I don't understand why it has to be so hard? And the sad thing is that the majority of ppl that have it take it for granted. I don't think that they understand how hard it is to come by.
MikeyBe Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 You can be married and bored or single and lonely... Ain't no happiness nowhere... -Chris Rock 5
Sun Devil Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Looking at the world, it is obvious that if there is a god, that god does not care for us. There is so much suffering and injustice in the world that I am losing faith in humanity itself. However, I am doing somethng about finding a girl. I am actively approaching girls and expanding my social circle. i also am improving my physical self. I will do whatever it takes to get a girl, even if I have to resort to breaking up a couple.
KungFuJoe Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Looking at the world, it is obvious that if there is a god, that god does not care for us. There is so much suffering and injustice in the world that I am losing faith in humanity itself. However, I am doing somethng about finding a girl. I am actively approaching girls and expanding my social circle. i also am improving my physical self. I will do whatever it takes to get a girl, even if I have to resort to breaking up a couple. Based on what you just said, all I can say is that there IS justice in this world. 1
Mallow Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Life is what you make of it. You can complain about your love life, or you can go out, meet new people, and appreciate what you do have. Being confident and happy often attracts others. I know that I'm not attracted to people who aren't confident with themselves. 1
MrCastle Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 You can be married and bored or single and lonely... Ain't no happiness nowhere... -Chris Rock "When you're married, you wanna kill your spouse. When you're single, you wanna kill yourself." 5
Sun Devil Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 dArgennes, have you ever tried to improve yourself?
Sun Devil Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Maybe an incel related shooting could cause society to stop ignoring incels and actually listen to them
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I am much happier single than I ever was in any relationship. Some people are not suited to relationships and prefer it that way. 1
christine07 Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 If you're not happy with being single or by yourself then work on that. Its unfair to assume that having a partner will make you happy, that a lot of pressure on that person. Besides like someone said, not everything is always as it seems. 2
MrCastle Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Maybe an incel related shooting could cause society to stop ignoring incels and actually listen to them What are we gonna do, put together an organization of women that will sleep with social outcasts to prevent possible destruction? I've heard the virgin/shooting spree angle many times on PUA forums. My answer to that is, the reason those guys weren't getting laid, was because they were emotionally disturbed/socially awkward. Not the other way around. Being dateless didn't make them disturbed. Being disturbed made them dateless. 9
Sugarkane Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Being single has lots of advantages. Especially more money and freedom. Being in a relationship isn't everything.
xxoo Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Miserable single people tend to make miserable partners. 9
TaraMaiden Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Your happiness is not dependent on the inclusion in your life of a significant other. Your happiness is not dependent on life being great, wonderful, love-drenched and serene. Because it rarely ever is. Your happiness is not dependent on anything outside of yourself. Anything. The only way you can gain true happiness, serenity and lasting Joy is by accepting that you are absolutely, wonderfully, blissfully perfect just as you are right now, single or not. The most important person in your life - the one who deserves your completely accepting, unconditional love and Compassion - is You. And get this: You always will be. because until you can totally come to terms with yourself -warts and all, and love yourself as deeply as you'd like to love anyone else - you can never love anyone else that way. 5
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 Your happiness is not dependent on the inclusion in your life of a significant other. Your happiness is not dependent on life being great, wonderful, love-drenched and serene. Because it rarely ever is. Your happiness is not dependent on anything outside of yourself. Anything. The only way you can gain true happiness, serenity and lasting Joy is by accepting that you are absolutely, wonderfully, blissfully perfect just as you are right now, single or not. The most important person in your life - the one who deserves your completely accepting, unconditional love and Compassion - is You. And get this: You always will be. because until you can totally come to terms with yourself -warts and all, and love yourself as deeply as you'd like to love anyone else - you can never love anyone else that way. But someone loving me and taking some interest in me besides sex would definitely help how I feel about myself. It shouldn't be everything though of course
TaraMaiden Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 It shouldn't be anything. It should be a bonus, not a condition. We all need companionship - we're gregarious animals with a herding instinct - this is why cities grow... some of us have 'hermit' solitary tendencies, but this seems to go against the norm. So sure, it's nice to have someone - but it should never be considered essential, or a pre-requisite to a perfect life. Everything - but everything, without exception - has a beginning, a middle and an end. The time-span varies, of course.... a mayfly's 'beginning, middle and end', is a whole different thing to that of a Galapagos tortoise... but the concept is identical, and proportionately, their time is equally precious. You (generic) never know when that end will be - so why waste time wishing, when you could be spending time enjoying it for what it is? 6
TheZebra Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I'm amazed no one has jumped on the terrible premise of the argument. That if you're single, it must mean you've done something wrong. When most people have met their life partners, I'm pretty sure they were single at the time. Plus, it's like saying 'oh, there are challenges to my life, therefore I must be a bad person'. I mean, seriously? I rather start at the bottom, cherishing each victory, then to already start at the top and have nothing to live for. Nothing to look forward to. Look at people who are born rich or strike it rich so quick... and then either fall into a life of drugs and alcoholism which leads to death, or they kill themselves. Having everything doesn't make you 'blessed'. And if I had stayed with my ex, I'd never be out looking for the guy who IS going to be life partner. 4
Sugarkane Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 You always want what you can't have. I find it now that I'm in a relationship again, it's taking up a lot of my spare time. I find it difficult to keep a balance. 1
Treasa Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Er, I could be married tomorrow if I wanted to be. My best friend would marry me in a heartbeat. However, the focus of my life and my happiness isn't on being married or being "with someone." There are so many things in my life to be happy about. I have a stable job, a great family, a lot of interests, people to visit while traveling, a lot of local friends... Who really truly needs a relationship? Yeah, they can be fun and fulfilling, but if you're really truly good with your life and yourself and have goals and can have fun all by yourself, you don't *need* a relationship to be happy. I only post here because it's fun and I've had a lot of down time lately.
Treasa Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 (edited) But someone loving me and taking some interest in me besides sex would definitely help how I feel about myself. It shouldn't be everything though of course This kind of thinking makes me insane. Why do you need someone else's love or approval to feel good about yourself? I've said it before. If you rely on other people for how you feel, it'll go up or down based on your perceptions about how they feel about you. That means that if people actually don't like you, your self-esteem goes down. If you perceive that people don't like you (because people often assume incorrectly how others feel), your self-esteem goes down. Do you really want your self-esteem to be at the mercy of other people? That's crazy. You'll have no control over it. Why don't you choose to be in control of your own life and how you feel about yourself. Positive thoughts lead to positive emotions. You CAN control your thinking. If you've been negative most of your life it can take a lot of effort, but it is SO worth it. I've been training myself to adjust my thoughts. I can control that. It takes a lot of determination. But I am so much happier now. ETA: I want to give an example. Let's say there's someone you like, and they're normally nice to you. One day, they are being curt to you, seeming annoyed, etc. What they don't tell you is that their cat threw up in their brand new $200 shoes that morning. You automatically think they don't like you. So you look down, maybe sad, maybe stressed. Other people, not liking negative behavior, withdraw from you because they think maybe you're having a bad day and they want to give you space. You interpret this as everyone hating you. ALL BECAUSE A CAT THREW UP IN SOMEONE'S SHOES. See what I'm saying? If you lead a life where you try not to hurt others (and you make amends if you inadvertently do), then you should easily be able to feel good about yourself. And I don't know many people are who are just deliberately malicious, so I don't see where all the low self-esteem comes from. Edited January 10, 2013 by Treasa 2
mesmerized Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 You didn't do anything per se. But sex being easily available for men and lack of commitment on both sides is the main reason people avoid relationships nowadays. Of Course a lot of people specially women are going to be affected by this and stay single even if they don't want to and you happen to be one of them now. 1
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