Shim_kattty Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I realized that growing up I always shut people put because I grew up with really strong morals. Most of the people my age drink heavily, party, smoke, have babies, & some have passed away from these behaviors. That's not to say that I'm better than they are or extremely religious because I have had sex out of marriage, but the other behaviors are farrr off & I'd never engage in them. Today though I was talking to my mom weeping tremendously because she's all I really had to talk to because everyone else would rather hear "oh girl I got drunk & laid lastnight" than to hear "I got a 4.0 last semester & currently a F/T student." I really don't understand the reasoning behind it but because I don't fit in per se, I am forced to just be alone ... ALL THE TIME. Not only that, but I have become quite susceptible to being taken advantage of simply because in order to keep company around, I over compensate for lacking "coolness" I guess you could say. But today is a turning point. I really plan to purge all of these "users" from my life because I honestly can't take it anymore. I literally had a so called friend tell me "you're alright" while I was talking to him about how I was about to be kicked out of my house. Mind you when he was I provided everything for him physically, emotionally, etc. I take him to work, take him home, & sometimes I even bring him lunch or something when he complains he's starving. He's not the only leech but the main one. But I thank him for allowing me to see that that's what people around me are, leeches. I will be cutting him off first & foremost since he seems to only contact me when he needs something but is never there for me. I don't wish bad upon these people, but I definitely hope they come to an understanding of why I'm doing this & how much they've hurt me. If they have to learn by someone doing it to them than so be it, but I refuse to be taken for granted any longer.
Mallow Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I have a mixture of different kinds of people in my life. I do have people who are interested in the bar and clubbing scene. I however, live a healthier lifestyle and opt out of those activities. I go to the gym 5-6x a weeks, while my friends are at the bar/club. When I see my friends I often suggest activities that we mutually have interests in (Movies, dinner, arts, etc). People always have other interests, you can connect with them if you see past the activities that you don't approve of. People will come and go out of your life, the key is finding those who you can connect with, and who respect you. Ditch the people who use you, life is too short to have these people in your life. It's a new year, a new chapter, time to meet people to suit who you are now.
th90 Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 (edited) I realized that growing up I always shut people put because I grew up with really strong morals. Most of the people my age drink heavily, party, smoke, have babies, & some have passed away from these behaviors. That's not to say that I'm better than they are or extremely religious because I have had sex out of marriage, but the other behaviors are farrr off & I'd never engage in them. I can relate to the same thing you're having. My friends from high school think I'm dull and boring because I don't do what they do. We've had friends who died in car crash due to drunk driving, friends who were forced to get married due to pregnancy,etc. I don't think it makes me a better person for not doing all the wild things they're doing, I just prefer a much simpler and peaceful life. I love to be at home with my family in the evening and do things together and retire to bed early so I'll wake up early and be healthy and productive. Some of my friends will only work out in the gym because that's "cooler" than going for a jog in the park apparently. As for me, I'll always choose to be as close to the natures as possible. Today though I was talking to my mom weeping tremendously because she's all I really had to talk to because everyone else would rather hear "oh girl I got drunk & laid lastnight" than to hear "I got a 4.0 last semester & currently a F/T student." I really don't understand the reasoning behind it but because I don't fit in per se, I am forced to just be alone ... ALL THE TIME. Don't you have some friends from your class who fit into the same category? I'm able to fit in better with my university friends as we are doing the same course. But true friends? None. Not only that, but I have become quite susceptible to being taken advantage of simply because in order to keep company around, I over compensate for lacking "coolness" I guess you could say. But today is a turning point. I really plan to purge all of these "users" from my life because I honestly can't take it anymore. I literally had a so called friend tell me "you're alright" while I was talking to him about how I was about to be kicked out of my house. Mind you when he was I provided everything for him physically, emotionally, etc. I take him to work, take him home, & sometimes I even bring him lunch or something when he complains he's starving. He's not the only leech but the main one. But I thank him for allowing me to see that that's what people around me are, leeches. I will be cutting him off first & foremost since he seems to only contact me when he needs something but is never there for me. I don't wish bad upon these people, but I definitely hope they come to an understanding of why I'm doing this & how much they've hurt me. If they have to learn by someone doing it to them than so be it, but I refuse to be taken for granted any longer. It's a blessing to be able to give, provide and serve others. Sometimes we have friends who cross the line and don't even respect us, so what does that say about them? While I agree that it's annoying to be taken advantage of all the time, I'll still choose to be the person who gives, rather than the person who takes. But it's your decision if you wanna clear them off your life for good. It's natural that we want to guard ourselves. What I've done with people who don't see me for who I am is simply letting them be. When they ask me for a drink, I'd just go and listen to how much complaints they have in life and feel grateful I have so little problems in comparison. Edited January 10, 2013 by th90
Leegh Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Yes, use your "gut instinct". Sometimes that inner feeling says it all, if you feel you need to cut people out of your life, then do so. At least he is not a sibling, as that is much harder, if not impossible to do.
Author Shim_kattty Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 @Th90 I don't want to be a taker either. As a matter of fact, I hate even asking people to do things for me, but I can't deal with not only people using me for them, but calling me to use me for others as well. Is that all you think of me? I do fit in better with a few people from my class & one or two people recently from my church but you're right, they're not TRUE friends. I do suggest things to do with those who are more the party type & I even compromise so as to not be stuck up or whatever but there's no way I would just give up my morals & such to fit in. It's not worth it. I will continue my search for friends because there's nothing written in stone that says I have to be tied at the hip with the people in my life now. I treat them a WHOLE lot better than the way they treat me that's for sure & I'm not looking for someone to spoil & pamper me, I'm just looking for someone with common ground who is sincere & actually wants good for themselves.
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