SuperSad09 Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 ...and see what happens. I have asked if he thinks we could get back together and he says he doesn't know what the future holds. Then I will say how much I miss him and want this to work and he says it's hard for him to (but I am the only one who ever calls or texts). He keeps telling me to just "go with the flow" and see what happens but 1. when I go with the flow I don't hear from him. I usually cave after about 10 days and text him. 2. This has been going on for about 6-9 months. Writing this it seems silly, (cause if I read this I would say MOVE ON) but he really loved me SO much. We were engaged and he was alwasy scared of losing me! How did he go from the one that wanted this so badly to not caring at all?! He also always thought I was cheating (I wasn't) and now he doesn't even seem to care if I date someone else. He just says he doesn't want to know about it. I really want him back though HELP!
na49 Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 He's been telling you that he wants to be friends for 6-9 months??? Umm... I know you guys were meant for each other and everything, but it may be time to move on. You knew that already though, right? Right? Nothing you can really do to get him back. He has free will, if he wants to date you again. He'll ask for another chance. If he doesn't. You'll be holding out forever for someone who doesn't want you the same way you want him. 1
xPiercethenikki Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Maybe you should try to move on, although it seems like the hardest thing to do.. Maybe the old, seeing you with someone else trick will work on him. /: Just a thought as to why this might've happened.. did he cheat on you or anything? ..
Author SuperSad09 Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 I do know I should move on, I just wish my heart would catch up with my mind :/ No Cheating that I am aware of. Though he did go from being totally into me (too much at times - I would even say clingy) to nothing. It was like a light switch one day. We have done the break up get back together thing a few times and that never worked thats why he says he want to be friends first. But, he does nothing to "be my friend" He claims he isn't seeing anyone else - I am, but my heart isn't in it. I did tell him once that I had started seeing someone and he acted like he didn't care but then later didn't talk to me for a few weeks and he acknowledged it was because of that. Now he just says I can what I want and as far as he and I go he just wants to "go with the flow" ERRRRRRR thanks guys
Author SuperSad09 Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 here is the other winning thing about the situation. In the 2 years we were together he only had a job and a place to live for the first 2 months. After that he didn't work (but he did get unemployment) and he lived on a couch. Now he is saying "I need to do me" I think he is over it and is just stringing me along, but why even string me along? It's like I just want him to say "it will never happen" but he won't. PS we are both 29 so the living on a couch thing for 2 years really wasn't cool with me...I did give him a really hard time about it (but mostly just like please get a job so we can move out together! kind of hard time) I wouldn't let him live with me.
NoMagicBullet Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Maybe I'm cynical, but I'd guess he's been seeing other people, and he just wants to keep his options open to go back to you if/when they don't work out. When a person's interest level goes from hot to cold... well, often there's at least one other person in the picture. (Or on rarer occassions, a ridiculously huge amount of insecurity and self-doubt.) 1
na49 Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 here is the other winning thing about the situation. In the 2 years we were together he only had a job and a place to live for the first 2 months. After that he didn't work (but he did get unemployment) and he lived on a couch. Now he is saying "I need to do me" I think he is over it and is just stringing me along, but why even string me along? It's like I just want him to say "it will never happen" but he won't. PS we are both 29 so the living on a couch thing for 2 years really wasn't cool with me...I did give him a really hard time about it (but mostly just like please get a job so we can move out together! kind of hard time) I wouldn't let him live with me. He'll string you along because you allow yourself to be strung along. Do you really want to hear him say that? I'd imagine that would hurt more than just figuring it out for yourself.
Missing Him Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 You could have spared yourself a lot of heart-ache if you had denied his request to stay friends much sooner. I heard a lot of the same things from my ex. I rejected his request to stay friends, though, and lately I've been the one receiving the phone call/text message every couple of days.
Author SuperSad09 Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 You could have spared yourself a lot of heart-ache if you had denied his request to stay friends much sooner. I heard a lot of the same things from my ex. I rejected his request to stay friends, though, and lately I've been the one receiving the phone call/text message every couple of days. this is definitely my desperation talking, but how long until he started reaching out to you?
Missing Him Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 this is definitely my desperation talking, but how long until he started reaching out to you? It was a matter of days. But his "reaching out" was always to check on me and make sure I was okay, and to request that we stay friends. The last time he reached out, I explained to him that I did not want to be friends and that I don't think he should "check up on me" any more. So now I don't think that I'll hear from him for a long time, if at all. I wouldn't recommend going NC as a technique to win him back. But still, I'd recommend it more than attempting to be his friend when it's hurting you
Recommended Posts