sadpanda87 Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Long story short (if you've read any previous posts you'd know anyway): bad break up maybe 6 months ago, NC for 5. tried dating again last december but wasnt ready yet. went out with random meetup group over NYE, met a really nice girl who (i think) likes me too. been on two dates and have been careful and not initiated any physical intimacy (dont know, maybe still scared) heres the question, i dont want to lose the chance with her and give out the vibe that im not interested. on the other hand im not 100% over the previous relationship, im doing a lot better now and rarely think about it but its still somewhere looming in the back of my head from time to time. ive taken this real slow, the last time i tried to see someone new i ended up taking the girl home on second date which was probably a bit soon (maybe? haha...) i havnt told this new girl about my situation or past, i dont want to scare her off and i seem fine on the outside anyway. what do you guys think?
SharkTooth Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 That's a tuff one. It sounds like this girl hasn't had or might not have the chemistry to get you to forget about your ex or you're not really being yourself with her. I envision that when I date and really like the girl, that there will be the chemistry that absolutely erases all thoughts of my ex. But then again, I don't think I could date while my ex was still in my mind. Sounds like your pretty close so I'd take it slow like you said. Don't rush it and give your date a chance. Keep it simple and have fun! I definitely would not tell her about your ex. Your toast if you do that, besides, you don't even know her so why would you? 1
NoMagicBullet Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 You need to get over your ex and your old relationship first. No new person can "fix" you or make your feelings about the past go away, only distract you from them for a while. It's not fair to anyone you date if you're not over it. 1
Victoria Lake Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I agree with SharkTooth about the chemistry part - that's how I've seen things work. When there will be that chemistry between you and a new girl, you will know it. You won't forget your ex, what she did or how she made you feel all of a sudden, but you won't care anymore because you'll be much more interested in the new person. Don't force yourself into something you're not sure about and try not to drag your date into this
Author sadpanda87 Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 how do i define being 'over' my ex? im not thinking about the break up or her very much, it has basically no influence over my life anymore other than the fact some things remind me of her - however i dont feel any sorrow or get upset, just the 'oh heh i remember that' and thinking i was so stupid and naive at the time about the chemistry, guess i'll see how it goes... i want to let her get close to me but i've kept my distance on purpose. it definitely would not be a rebound and i would not give her for... my ex coming back, for example. is that a good sign im moving on?
Victoria Lake Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 how do i define being 'over' my ex? im not thinking about the break up or her very much, it has basically no influence over my life anymore other than the fact some things remind me of her - however i dont feel any sorrow or get upset, just the 'oh heh i remember that' and thinking i was so stupid and naive at the time about the chemistry, guess i'll see how it goes... i want to let her get close to me but i've kept my distance on purpose. it definitely would not be a rebound and i would not give her for... my ex coming back, for example. is that a good sign im moving on? I think being "over" your ex means exactly what you said - when your ex has no influence over your feelings. Thinking about her like that is perfectly normal, it's not like you can erase her from your memory.
SharkTooth Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 how do i define being 'over' my ex? im not thinking about the break up or her very much, it has basically no influence over my life anymore other than the fact some things remind me of her - however i dont feel any sorrow or get upset, just the 'oh heh i remember that' and thinking i was so stupid and naive at the time about the chemistry, guess i'll see how it goes... i want to let her get close to me but i've kept my distance on purpose. it definitely would not be a rebound and i would not give her for... my ex coming back, for example. is that a good sign im moving on? Well I would say hell yes! I wish I could say/feel the way you are feeling about your ex. That's awesome!
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