maddy_palmetto Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I have been dating this boy for a little over year now, and we're literally attached at the hip. He's a junior and I'm a sophomore, and we started dating early my freshman year. He was my first kiss, and I was his, and niether of us have ever even thought about being with anyone else. We were completely 100% in love and I still am. We do everything together, share a locker at school, work together, annd literally hang out every single day for as long as we can and when were not hanging out were texting and when were not hanging out or texting were sleeping or showering. We're really close with each other's family's, and go on vacations together. We don't fight and we don't get sick of each other. Last week he told me he thought we should take a break, and I think this assumption took both of us completely by surprise. Literally the week before that he came over in the middle of the night crying because he had a nightmare I died and wanted to see me and told me he'd always love me forever no matter what and he never wanted to lose me. This wasn't the first time he's said that, we've known we love each other for over a year, but that time it really hit me and I thought for sure that even though we were in highschool, we were gonna last a long time. I was wrong. We decided that the next day I'd give him space to really decide what he wanted, and so that next day we didn't talk or hang out at all... (I was a mess) until about midnight when he came home from snowboarding with his friends and I begged him to come over so we could work things out. At that point I thought he'd be begging for me back, every other time we've fought he showed up the next day with flowers, apologizing, he's honestly the sweetest kid. I was suchh a mess. I wrote him a nine page letter and dropped it off at his house, took a three hour long shower, and it sounds stupid even writing this but I almost drove my car into a tree... When he got to my house, he told me that he wasn't in love with me anymore. He said he still loved me, but as a bestfriend and not as a girlfriend. This completely broke my heart, I cried for the rest of the night, I didn't know what to do with myself and I still don't. Honestly I didn't even have anyone to go to. I've given up a lot for him, including a lot of my friends, (who were really awful friends anyway, but still) and I also recently quit cheer for him because my coach used to be a total bitch to me and he hated it. Now I literally don't have any friends I can go to, he was my best friend in the world and I thought I only needed him. The weird thing about this though is that we still hang out all the time. We're just different. I have to beg him to snuggle with me, or hold my hand, and we only kiss goodbye. We haven't really had sex yet, we're both good kids who don't drink or smoke or anything, which is kinda rare.. but we definitely won't be doing anything sexual anytime soon. I guess we're not really broken up, persay, but every time we start talking about how he can't say I love you anymore, I get depressed and its really not good for either of us to be in a relationship like this, but we can't live without each other. So my question is this, how do I make him like me again, that way? I've already tried looking nice, curling my hair and wearing his favorite outfits, but it isn't working at all. All of this was clear out of the blue, he doesn't have any explanation for it and he says theres nothing I can do to fix it. He still says he thinks I'm beautiful and its not my fault he started feeling that way he just kinda did. I just want my boyfriend to be my BOYFRIEND again. We've basically had a picture perfect relationship for more than a year, breaking up isn't an option! I just want to know why he's feeling this, or what I can do to fix it.
stevie_23 Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Oh boy. I’m sorry about this. My thoughts are…you have a chance that he might change his mind again and realise he just got scared of the commitment and depth of his feelings (maybe that dream you died shook him up quite a bit, etc), but really, this is unlikely. I’m sorry, but people can’t help their feelings. They can only act on them in ways that respect and care for the people affected. It has probably been a painful realisation for him too to accept and admit to himself how his feelings for you have changed. You are both fairly young and feelings can change or fade for anyone at any age, but especially when you’re young. As hard as it is, try not to chase him or beg him. Let him know how you feel…that you still love him the same as always and you saw yourself with him in the long term as a loving couple. But that’s about all you can do. Try to take some small comfort in the fact he did love you during your time together, and he still does love and care for you, but just not in the same way you feel for him. I’m sorry. This happened to me many years ago too and it was very hard.
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