He's wonderful on surface, but I have this nagging feeling that something isn't right

[smellybelly]

k so here's the background... been dating this guy over a month now. We met through mutual friends. At first I wasn't sure but I like him more and more every time I see him and realize i'm starting to develop feelings. He is caring, funny, thoughtful. Calls every day, has mutually agreed not to see other people, has told his friends about me. Is pursuing me persistently So I should feel secure and okay right...

 

But I don't... i just have this silly nagging feeling that something isn't right... and I don't know why...

 

I wonder if it's me being insecure: He's good-looking and has a great personality and I find people are drawn to him- especially women. Also found out that about a year earlier he had dated and slept with a mutual acquaintance. When we first started dating I asked him about his relationship with her currently and he said they were friends, and then I found out they had hooked up. He omitted that information but when I found out and pressed him further he fessed up and was frank about it. But I guess what other choice did he have.

 

So with-holding that "indiscretion" above, otherwise he has been exemplary. His communication, interest hasn't waned, he makes me feel amazing,... yet I can shake this nagging feeling something isn't right... like i can't trust him...

 

Is it just me? Have other people experienced this ever in their relationships? Especially when they were first starting to date? Has your gut always been right? Ever wrong...?

 

I just don't know what to do here.... I don't know if it's me being insecure or if there is something I'm picking up on. But I just can't shake it... don't know where to go with this...

[Ninjainpajamas]

The vibe I'm getting from this situation is he is a "player"...I know the expectations are low for this title, but for lack of a better word I think you'll get the idea.

[FitChick]

If he is no longer seeing anyone else except you, it doesn't matter what he did in the past. Enjoy it until you find out otherwise.

[mortensorchid]

I agree with both the previous posts. He just might be a player, but he just might be a good guy as well. You don't know him that well at this point, I'm guessing, and of course hindsight is always 20/20, but I still hope that he is as good as you are saying he is. Give it some time and relax with it, see what he's about. I wish there was some magic word or something anyone could say to make you see the truth (whatever that may be), but you're still in the get to know you stages. See what happens.

[skylark100]

Not sure you can really judge him for a past relationship with a mutual friend. It was before you guys started dating.

 

Here's my take. Your gut feeling will tell you something and it's usually right, because unconciously you have picked up on cues or things that he has done. Actions speak louder than words, and it's usually the actions that help us better understand whether someone is real about us or just 'playing us'.

 

My advice is to proceed with caution, it's still early. He might be a player or he might not. Watch for subtle clues and base your observations on his actions rather than his words.

[Keenly]

I don't think you are really being fair here... So he is awesome. But what?

 

What exactly is the problem? It SOUNDS like an insecurity issue, because the only negative thing that you pointed out is irrelevant.

 

Of COURSE he didn't tell you that they hooked up, because it would have bothered you. You asked a question and didn't like the answer, a problem my first girlfriend had.

 

 

You need to either A) set your insecurities aside and TRUST him. Or B) just break up with him. Sounds to me like he is into you and he is trying, but taking some ones past and getting worried that they don't tell you every single little detail about it is just ridiculous.