Brunettie Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I was mainly looking for a guy's perspective on it; about what a girl would have to be like in order to be classified as clingy. Just out of curiosity.
Treasa Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Ok, not a guy, but WAS once clingy (looooong ago, in my 20s). Let's see.. -Not having a life or interests outside him -Asking him who he's hanging out with all the time or asking if you can go with -Telling him you miss him after not having heard from him in six hours (or 8, or 12, or 24) -Telling him you love him every minute and a half -Asking him to fall asleep on the phone with you (do people really do this?? I've only ever heard of this one) -Going out of your way to put his needs first when he doesn't reciprocate -Not knowing how to function without him -Wanting to kill yourself because the relationship ended (for God's sake, NO ONE is worth ending your life over) -Having your nostrils flare up because he's talking to a pretty girl
DC4 Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Wanting to know where I am, what im doing. Not being able to deal with the fact that I have things going on that don't involve her. Excessive calling/texting/emailing. The last part is subjective unfortunately but yeah, lots of people are guilty of those other things. I know I was when I was younger 1
Fondue Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Excessive amount of contact is clingy. "Good morning," and "good night" texts. Talking for the sake of talking. Like, if you are on the phone with a female, the topic of conversation came to a completion, and you feel the need to ask something like, "sooooooooooo, what'r you thinkinggggggggggggggg" instead of hanging up-- that's pretty clingy. **** like that. Pretty self explainatory. You don't need constant communication to still maintain a relationship or to continue to date . 1
Treasa Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Excessive amount of contact is clingy. "Good morning," and "good night" texts. Talking for the sake of talking. Like, if you are on the phone with a female, the topic of conversation came to a completion, and you feel the need to ask something like, "sooooooooooo, what'r you thinkinggggggggggggggg" instead of hanging up-- that's pretty clingy. **** like that. Pretty self explainatory. You don't need constant communication to still maintain a relationship or to continue to date . I'm guilty of doing this one in the past. Until the 15th consecutive guy said, "Nothing," which was hard for me to believe, but now I get it. Of course, if you're a girl and you suddenly go all quiet, it's funny how many guys will start asking what's wrong. LOL I had a boyfriend who did this. He had done something that wasn't sitting right with me, but I was preoccupied with something else, so we didn't talk about it. After half an hour he was apologizing profusely for what he had done, had admitted doing it, and I was finally like, "What? Sorry, I was thinking about my dog."
MrCastle Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I'm sure many would cite the amount of calls/texts someone makes, which is certainly true to a point, but really, that only counts if they're not into you. Put it this way, I wouldn't be turned off if Mila Kunis was texting me 20 times a day, everyday, you know what I mean? What turns me off, and what I would cite as clingy is: -remembering/bringing up obscure/unimportant things. This really scares me off. Like if I happened to say I like pasta on Janurary 3rd. In June you tell me "Hey let's go out for some pasta. Remember back in January you told me you like it? January 3rd I think, remember? We were like talking and you said you liked pasta." Remembering details like that really scares me. It's fine if you remember me saying I liked pasta at one point, but remembering the date and other meaningless details like that makes me feel you're taking our relationship way too seriously. -Breaking down the fourth wall and asking if you're clingy/annoying. Sending three or four texts in a row and then asking "am I annoying you? Am I being clingy? Let me know. I don't want you to think I'm clingy". -Being too apologetic for minor stuff. Like if you text me and I say I'm in class can I text you later? And you respond with "Oh no, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to bother you. I'm sorry. It won't happen again, I promise". Then when I text you when I get out of class, you say "Did I get you in trouble in class? Sorry if I did, I just wanted to say hi." Overall, clingy isn't just the amount of times you contact me but also how seriously you take our relationship. 1
Treasa Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I'm sure many would cite the amount of calls/texts someone makes, which is certainly true to a point, but really, that only counts if they're not into you. Put it this way, I wouldn't be turned off if Mila Kunis was texting me 20 times a day, everyday, you know what I mean? What turns me off, and what I would cite as clingy is: -remembering/bringing up obscure/unimportant things. This really scares me off. Like if I happened to say I like pasta on Janurary 3rd. In June you tell me "Hey let's go out for some pasta. Remember back in January you told me you like it? January 3rd I think, remember? We were like talking and you said you liked pasta." Remembering details like that really scares me. It's fine if you remember me saying I liked pasta at one point, but remembering the date and other meaningless details like that makes me feel you're taking our relationship way too seriously. -Breaking down the fourth wall and asking if you're clingy/annoying. Sending three or four texts in a row and then asking "am I annoying you? Am I being clingy? Let me know. I don't want you to think I'm clingy". -Being too apologetic for minor stuff. Like if you text me and I say I'm in class can I text you later? And you respond with "Oh no, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to bother you. I'm sorry. It won't happen again, I promise". Then when I text you when I get out of class, you say "Did I get you in trouble in class? Sorry if I did, I just wanted to say hi." Overall, clingy isn't just the amount of times you contact me but also how seriously you take our relationship. I agree with all of this except the memory part. I know the VIN for both of my cars, I know my driver's license number, my blood donor ID number, my roommate's social security number, and all of my credit card numbers, security codes, and expiration dates. I have to check myself when I ask someone else if they remember something, and realize they aren't a freak like I am. It's not so much that I'm taking something too seriously as much as I just can't stop remembering things.
gospel Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 A clingy girl is defined as someone that takes up a lot of your time when you could be doing other stuff.
TaraMaiden Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Let go of his leg while he's walking... it ruins your clothes, that... being dragged through the park. And kids look at you funny.... Don't kiss him while he's trying to brush his teeth. Just - don't. Don't hold onto his arm so tight while he's peeing. That's what causes 'external drips'. If it happens, just for once, yes - it IS your fault! 3
Keenly Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Things that do NOT bother me : Wanting to hang out all the time. Asking where I am or what I am doing all the time. Asking who I am with . Holding me close in public or in private . Things that DO bother me : Getting passive aggressive, irritated, or annoyed when I say I feel like being alone for the night . Getting mad when I tell her where I am and didn't invite her. Getting mad or jealous because of who I am with or talking to. Getting mad when I want to play games after having sex. 1
Treasa Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Let go of his leg while he's walking... it ruins your clothes, that... being dragged through the park. And kids look at you funny.... Don't kiss him while he's trying to brush his teeth. Just - don't. Don't hold onto his arm so tight while he's peeing. That's what causes 'external drips'. If it happens, just for once, yes - it IS your fault! OMG, I love you so much.
MrCastle Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I agree with all of this except the memory part. I know the VIN for both of my cars, I know my driver's license number, my blood donor ID number, my roommate's social security number, and all of my credit card numbers, security codes, and expiration dates. I have to check myself when I ask someone else if they remember something, and realize they aren't a freak like I am. It's not so much that I'm taking something too seriously as much as I just can't stop remembering things. Oh no, my memory is incredible. I have a photographic memory which helps especially when it comes to test taking as I close my eyes and can actually picture the pages of the text book I read the night before. It's like having the book right there on the table in front of me. But you have to have the self awareness to realize not everyone has that and it would freak people out if you brought stuff like that up. So even if I knew what the girl said January 3rd, I'd still say "Hey, you like pasta right? I think you mentioned it once" 1
TaraMaiden Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Oh no, my memory is incredible. I have a photographic memory which helps especially when it comes to test taking as I close my eyes and can actually picture the pages of the text book I read the night before. It's like having the book right there on the table in front of me. But you have to have the self awareness to realize not everyone has that and it would freak people out if you brought stuff like that up. So even if I knew what the girl said January 3rd, I'd still say "Hey, you like pasta right? I think you mentioned it once" I thought 'photographic memory' was purely visual... it applies to verbal discussion also....? EDIT: It seems you're more 'eidetic'.....
runningfar Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Reading.... Oh no; I am totally clingy But then, so is every guy I have dated and some I have not. I don't get jealous, though. It's not in my nature.
TheZebra Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Excessive amount of contact is clingy. "Good morning," and "good night" texts. OMG I hate those texts. There's nothing worse than pointless texts. I've had guys text me things like: [insert name here]!!!! - Ok, what?! - Just a smiley face? Can I get some context? I'm bored - ok, and what do you want me to do about it? Hey - Hey? What? 1
Ami1uwant Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Clingy is as others have said.... Its also stalkerish/jealousy behavior traits like wanting to know where you are or what you are doing. Part of being clingy is not having trust or want to be controlling....what you may feel is just being caring..is controling to someone else. Another aspect of being clingy...is the perceived inability to do things on your own.
Treasa Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Oh no, my memory is incredible. I have a photographic memory which helps especially when it comes to test taking as I close my eyes and can actually picture the pages of the text book I read the night before. It's like having the book right there on the table in front of me. But you have to have the self awareness to realize not everyone has that and it would freak people out if you brought stuff like that up. So even if I knew what the girl said January 3rd, I'd still say "Hey, you like pasta right? I think you mentioned it once" Ah, yes, I see your point. It's been hard for me to remember that most people aren't like us. 1
sillyanswer Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Telling me she misses me after only 2 dates. Is that clingy? (It was a pretty good second date, though.)
TaraMaiden Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 better than missing you with two rocks..... 3
TheZebra Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Ah, yes, I see your point. It's been hard for me to remember that most people aren't like us. I also tend to have a really good memory for the weirdest things people tell me. I'm pretty sure I freaked out the guy I'm after last week, though. He's mentioning how he went out to lunch with his boss a couple of weeks ago and my first response was 'Oh yeah, I remember when you told me that. You guys had Chinese right?' His face was priceless lol And I remember this stuff about everyone. Like one of my co-worker's wife is an author on the side. He only mentioned it to me once, 9 months ago. The other day I'm talking to him and say something like 'Hey, how's your wife's erotic vampire novel coming along'? And he couldn't believe I remembered that much about it.
Recommended Posts