Keenly Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I have to start off by saying, yes I am over my ex. I am over HER as a person, but I am not over the concept of being in a relationship. I miss the cuddling, the romance, the exchange of looks where words are not needed. The kisses on the cheek, stuff that I can get from anyone, so it is not HER that I miss. Every night, my dreams are the exact same. My subconscious invents women whom I have never met and are different every night, and though the dreams are situationally different, they are all the same basic premise. Pursuit. Successful pursuit. Then I wake up, remember "oh wait..... I'm alone." Usually will shed between 1 and 3 tears before I man up and face the day with a mask on. A mask I wear rather well. Everyone thinks I am happy and confident and hard working but inside I am dying. Dying for that companionship. I have tried all the regular advice.... "distract yourself" they say. Well, okay... Work for 10 hours, Gym for 1 hour, Guitar for 2 hours, bed. OR on a day off some days I just practice for 8 straight hours. Sure it helps in the moment, but as soon as I wake up the next day its the same damn thing. Why do I want this so bad, and why is it affecting me so much inside. Normally I am a pretty laid back, go with the flow kind of guy. But this is consuming my emotions and draining my life. What the hell am I supposed to do about this?
ScienceGal Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I want it so badly because I only feel complete when I am sharing my life with someone. I am most happy when I am sharing physical and emotional affection with someone I love. And, I want to get married and have a family. So, I completely understand where you're coming from. How old are you? I am 31, so this weighs on me more than it did when I was in my early to mid 20s.
andytenshi Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I completely sympathize with everything said by both of you.. I'm 32 and was very ready to settle down and start a family at 25. Yet here I am still single and still unable to hold a relationship of any kind for longer than a couple months..
TerpVet87 Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 I understand what you are saying. I feel the same way. I have had two live in girlfriends in the past that I lived with for over a year and anything short of that seems pointless. I want that level of intimacy again. Dating again is lonely and frustrating, plus I think I'm much pickier now. If I can't see myself marrying a girl I don't go any further.
Esoteric Elf Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Keenly, this is painful, and I do feel for you. I desired such things so strongly as well, but I dropped it and finally found peace. In my case, though, at 23, I haven't experienced love or a relationship of any sort, so your situation would seem worse in the sense that you have tasted something sweet and it is taken from you, whereas I have never tasted that something sweet. In my case, as you mentioned, I just occupy myself. Lifting, archery, writing, video gaming, reading, listening to music, occasional browsing of the net to excite me (new movie, video game and music releases, etc.) and so on. If you really must, go out more and get involved with something you enjoy; perhaps you will meet a girl there.
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