big bear Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I had a new year resolution of no more moping. But somehow this last conversation 30 Nov 2012 is not going out of my head. I WILL NOT talk about all this to friends and family, because verbalizing some things causes more pain, but I have to get this out of my head before it implodes. The last call, made after I did not pick up 12 calls wishing me birthday the previous day. Me: Hi, why are you up so early. She: Working Me: (Some general stuff about working too much) She: Belated Happy Birthday Me: Thanks She: Why did you not pick my call yesterday? Me: You know why. You did not even reply the mail. I knew you are gong to say NO. What was the point of it. Did not want to blackmail you in saying a YES neither did I want to hear a no on my birthday. Me: I know about it. SHe: WHat? Me: You are going out with that guy. She: (Starts Sobbing) Me: Just because you do not enter office together does not people cannot see you in the parking lot or in the mall. I got this from someone whom I did not ask. Someone just wanted to warn me. I am sorry I had to tell you this. Me: Last weekend where were you? SHe: At home. Me: Why did you not go out. (It's a special day in our country, a very big festival, kind of like Christmas. 2011 she was out with the same guy.) She: Did not feel like it. Me: when did it start. Oh wait, I do not wanna know. She: still sobbing, I always wish you on your birthday. Me: I told you why I did not pick up. Me: Does anyone else know. Even though its none of my business. She: NO and pls. do not ask me more. Me: Reconsider your priorities although its upto to you, I do not want reconcilliation. She: I have hurt you a lot by not taking your calls and blah blah... Me: Last request, delete my mails I sent grovelling you to take me back. I would'nt like others seeing them. She: I want to keep them. I will never show them to anyone. I promise. Me: YOu have broken many other promises. Me: Good Luck and bye She: Sobbing. Pls. take care of yourself. Me: you will get late, ask him to wait. She: I go to work alone.(Sternly) This was one day past my birthday. Took of time before . Still in Denial as my friends call it by not accepting the fact she is out with someone. I think she did not refute so that I may go away. My points: 1. She did not admit it openly. 2. Did not get defensive 3. Its some office politics. 4. I have some good friends who are girls and I do party with them in a totally platonic way. People do misunderstand. 5. She went out socially with that guy last year, we were on bad terms ans she said yes I went out with him as a friend. 6. She said I have not told my friends. Totally uncharacteristic of her. 7. It is unlikely they have a future together and she is not the person to be involved in something like this. 8. She refused to admit that they go together to office. My friends: 1. There is no smoke without fire. 2. She said in April she like the guy. They were already flirting in last oct. Though they did break off contact till Jan. (Last sentence of braking contact till Jan is an assumption) Bottomline: I am totally NC now. But the denial part is a little tough to get away from so venting here. Above text copied from a previous thread. 40 days later, I realize most probably she does not want to be with me. So why bother if she is going with someone else. But just wanted to talk about it to someone else.
crashvector Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I think your suspicions are correct about her. I'm a hard-ass when it comes to cheating. I did it with my exwife. I was all broken up about it while we were separated....the MINUTE I found out she had in fact been cheating, I drove down to the clerk of court and filed for divorce without ANY remorse.
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Yeah....Doesn't sound at all like she wants to be with you. Consider: She did cheat on you(from the sounds of it.) Such a person cannot truly love you; as such, why would you want to be with such a person anymore; or want them to be with you? Think if you two did get back together: Things may seem well, for a while. But she would have ultimately went back to her cheating ways. The fact that she hide this other Guy, from you. The fact she denies it still; shows she is not as sorry for it as you'd wish. You are better off. I had an ex, just like this one. They lie when caught. They lie when proof is shoved in their face. A cheater is nothing more then a sad little lie. Their world runs on it; and when the lies sum up, it falls. So...Be glad you aren't there for that. Sadly, even in closure, she wasn't willing to be honest. Such is life...
Recommended Posts