sjh2156 Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Hi All I don't know if anyone has experienced this but I will ask anyway. I have been seeing a lovely lady for a few months, she is in her late thirties and 4 years older than me. We seem to have got very close and enjoy our time together. About a week ago she told her parents and friends we was an item, which was a big step for her. But since then I have started getting nervous around her and sometimes feel the need to get some space. As far as I can tell nothing as changed between us it has just been made official with her parents and friends, we are still open with each, hugging etc. I don't think she has noticed anything as yet and as soppy as it may sound as soon as she smiles my nerves are gone. I just don't know why I am suddenly feeling this way maybe I am becoming too attached to her? Any thoughts greatly appreciated. Thanks
Mumbles Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I just don't know why I am suddenly feeling this way maybe I am becoming too attached to her? Any thoughts greatly appreciated. My thoughts are: - I don't think I can be _too_ attached to anyone. When I'm in love (or lust, you choose), it just gets better and better. At some you'll plateau in your relationship but that probably a ways off for you given your comments so far - Although 4 months has passed, do you think your relationship has matured yet? For me, in 4 months, almost certainly not. In your situation, I'm probably approaching the point of the 'leap of faith' when I am at a decision point internally ... do I take the leap, and commit (internal to myself, you may or may not have the actual conversation or do I back away.
Author sjh2156 Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 Thanks for the thoughts. I should of mentioned that we have known each other for a few years before we started dating, so we already know fair a bit about each other
Mumbles Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I still am inclined to think your body, your emotional being, is communicating with you. A decision point is upon you, to commit or not. Again, this is internal - you may have already had the commitment conversation, though if you have it may have been a tad early given how you feel now. Are you going to take that step, over the edge... the leap of faith ... or not? I'm not advocating one way or the other, but I think this is what might need to be considered. If may be that stepping back is right, only you will know. In my experience, you have a time window to make an internal decision on this, or the decision will be made for you. You say your partner hasn't 'cottoned on' to your ambivalence yet, but be sure, she will, its just a matter of time. You can't rush important decisions, but I doubt this stage of your relationship is completely open ended, time wise, either.
Author sjh2156 Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 That is a good way of putting it Are you going to take that step, over the edge... the leap of faith ... or not? We have talked about the future and our plans etc, our plans are very similar and we can both see a possible future together. But then it comes back to my odd feelings, as you say I need to make a decision before it is too late.
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