blue_jay_bird Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Okay I guess this will not help anyone that has been Dumped here. But maybe it will, just stating my experience. I guess I was in a relationship for a month, and I dumped the person. It seemed like he had strong feelings for me and i was unable to reciprocate. I just want to point out, He looked crushed. And i was just trying to make him feel better, which didn't work. Why is this important. It's important in reflecting, how i guess, KNOW. My ex feel's. HE MUST FEEL GREAT. FEEL like he's got a weight off his shoulders, does not want to hear from me, and wants to be single. AND how trapped he felt. How much he JUST didn't FEEL it. HOW much little things annoyed him. HOW much he wanted out. I here this is not always the case BUT a lot of the feeling are very similar. And even if some say "it was a hard decision" in the END i feel the feelings i feel are what my ex felt. aka ( did not feel strong enough for me to continue a relationship)
CptSaveAho Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I dont come here and post on the breakup forums when "I feel great" I don't know a single person that does... might want to look hard in the mirror... I think you feel great because you took control of your hurt and used it to hurt somebody. 1
crashvector Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I dont come here and post on the breakup forums when "I feel great" I don't know a single person that does... might want to look hard in the mirror... I think you feel great because you took control of your hurt and used it to hurt somebody. I was gonna say that...but chose not to...until now. That's kind of a douchebag move to come here and say shiat like this on this forum.
terlislee Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I think there's a bit of a difference if you're dumping someone after a month and whom you never really fell for and when you're dumping someone that you spent a more significant part of your life with and once had strong feelings for. I'm not saying it's not a relief for the dumpers or that they aren't happy with their decision either way, just that it's hard to compare these situations.
na49 Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I'm a dumpee so excuse me if I come off the wrong way with this. It's important in reflecting, how i guess, KNOW. My ex feel's. HE MUST FEEL GREAT. FEEL like he's got a weight off his shoulders, does not want to hear from me, and wants to be single. AND how trapped he felt. How much he JUST didn't FEEL it. HOW much little things annoyed him. HOW much he wanted out. Seriously? No. He's probably heart broken. If he wanted out. He would've left you. You said it yourself, he had feelings for you. If he had feelings for you, he definitely doesn't feel this way. He looked crushed? He probably was crushed. You probably don't feel that he cared for you like you cared for him. Or you just were never that into him. A one month relationship is pretty short lived to even call it a relationship at all. But if the feelings were there, it might as well be.
crashvector Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Feelings are feelings. one month, one week, one year, doesn't matter if you really care...you really care.
terlislee Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Seriously? No. He's probably heart broken. If he wanted out. He would've left you. You said it yourself, he had feelings for you. If he had feelings for you, he definitely doesn't feel this way. He looked crushed? He probably was crushed. You probably don't feel that he cared for you like you cared for him. Or you just were never that into him. A one month relationship is pretty short lived to even call it a relationship at all. But if the feelings were there, it might as well be. She meant her previous ex where she was the dumpee.
itsmyfault Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Blue_bird_jay Still seems to be on a self-destruction path after 7 months or so now. I would seriously recommend some counselling or something, these actions clearly show how hung up you still are.
Ajax Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I know it rubs you guys the wrong way, but I think you misunderstand the OP's intentions. It's not that she feels good to have hurt someone else. It's that she was in a relationship, albeit brief, that wasn't right for her, and feels a sense of relief to be free of it. She then put herself in her previous ex's shoes. If she feels this sense of relief, he must feel a similar way in regards to their relationship. I don't think it's unhealthy to look at it from this perspective. She's not actually gloating or rubbing it in your faces that she's a dumper. And she's not unsympathetic to the guy she left. She's reflecting on her experiences and putting herself in her ex's shoes.
Amelie1980 Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 She said he looked crushed but she felt great. That is horrible. I'm sure many dumpers don't feel great at crushing someone else.
Author blue_jay_bird Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 I know it rubs you guys the wrong way, but I think you misunderstand the OP's intentions. It's not that she feels good to have hurt someone else. It's that she was in a relationship, albeit brief, that wasn't right for her, and feels a sense of relief to be free of it. She then put herself in her previous ex's shoes. If she feels this sense of relief, he must feel a similar way in regards to their relationship. I don't think it's unhealthy to look at it from this perspective. She's not actually gloating or rubbing it in your faces that she's a dumper. And she's not unsympathetic to the guy she left. She's reflecting on her experiences and putting herself in her ex's shoes. Thank you For stating how i felt. And no im not the monster on a self destructive path out there to hurt people. I am trying to move on from my ex, and one way to do this is by dating new people. I tried to date this man, and i thought i would develop stronger feeling for him, but i didn't. Dumping him was a great service for him because he should be with someone that likes loves him more that i do and can. (these where the exact word my ex before him said to me) No i was not happy to see him hurt, yes i did not sleep the night before or after I did it. Yes i feel like **** for hurting someone. BUT i felt worse being in a relationship with someone that felt very strongly for me and i had a luke warm feeling for him. I really wish i could be the girl he wanted me to be. He was perfect in so many ways. But i just wasn't feeling it. And you can't force someone to love you. I personally don't see how this is a self destruction path. I am not sitting at home pinning for my ex. I started dating and understanding what i want/ and don't want.
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