Just smile Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 He had been trying to contact me every since he returned frm his lovely trip that he left for before the holidays. As soon as he returned the blocked calls kept coming in, and messages which I ignored, Monday I caved and took one of the dozens of calls. He cried. And told Me he missed my voice, and asked now I was to which I replied great. He cried again, and before I knew it I was sobbing. I asked if he had fun, and if he had met his old girlfriend while there, he admitted he did. Which meant he drove two plus hours to see this old. Overweight woman who is twice my age. I was devastated and Immediatly said please do not ever contact me again, this is not repairable your dead to me. He was angry with ME for thinking that he was doing something wrong, always claiming they are just friends, whatever, no matter what the reason, he took time out of his family trip to visit this woman. It was a screw , not a nail in the coffin. I lost it. I asked why he felt the need to call me and torment me with this? Yes I asked , but did he need to tell me??? And why did he call? Why. I feel worse than ever, and haven't stopped crying since yesterday. It's done. He said some horrible things to me. Like I'm surprised you haven't slept with another man yet with a huge cock to satisfy you. I was mortified.and cried even harder. He said I know I'm toxic to you.and you need to cut me loose all while he cried sobbing through the phone. He said he will never feel comfortable around my children, I mean really did this man call to hear my voice or kill me slowly???? I'm back to square one, worse than before and frankly feel I'm in a major depression of being beat down emotionally. He is toying with me. I'm so sad. I do still miss this *******, and what I thought we had. I do know now, it is done and never again will I let him in, I feel he will try again, even though this was a horrible ending to an already horrible end. He is truly sick and demented, and I guess I'm just as sick for being with him for this long..... Please offer some words of advice. Even a slap thru the computer ..
Keenly Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I'll bet you 20 bucks that in no greater than 1 years time, you will have some one driving to hours to see YOU. Some one who would not ever do something like that to you. 3
Author Just smile Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 Oh man, your post brought me to tears once again, I truly hope someday I can find it , I really do, I feel like I will never love someone again this way, and my self esteem has taking. A hit big time. He thinks his behavior was fine, and as usual my thinking is warped.... Sigh. So sick of feeling sad, and thank you so much for your kind words that even though brought a tear to my eye, I know it could be true someday,,
Keenly Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I am sorry I didn't mean to make you cry. Just remember that even though you feel sadness now, the happiness you WILL feel with some one will be far greater. It will be so much greater than you will look back on THIS moment right here, and you will say to yourself, "It was worth it." 1
Samilia Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 He had been trying to contact me every since he returned frm his lovely trip that he left for before the holidays. As soon as he returned the blocked calls kept coming in, and messages which I ignored, Monday I caved and took one of the dozens of calls. He cried. And told Me he missed my voice, and asked now I was to which I replied great. He cried again, and before I knew it I was sobbing. I asked if he had fun, and if he had met his old girlfriend while there, he admitted he did. Which meant he drove two plus hours to see this old. Overweight woman who is twice my age. I was devastated and Immediatly said please do not ever contact me again, this is not repairable your dead to me. He was angry with ME for thinking that he was doing something wrong, always claiming they are just friends, whatever, no matter what the reason, he took time out of his family trip to visit this woman. It was a screw , not a nail in the coffin. I lost it. I asked why he felt the need to call me and torment me with this? Yes I asked , but did he need to tell me??? And why did he call? Why. I feel worse than ever, and haven't stopped crying since yesterday. It's done. He said some horrible things to me. Like I'm surprised you haven't slept with another man yet with a huge cock to satisfy you. I was mortified.and cried even harder. He said I know I'm toxic to you.and you need to cut me loose all while he cried sobbing through the phone. He said he will never feel comfortable around my children, I mean really did this man call to hear my voice or kill me slowly???? I'm back to square one, worse than before and frankly feel I'm in a major depression of being beat down emotionally. He is toying with me. I'm so sad. I do still miss this *******, and what I thought we had. I do know now, it is done and never again will I let him in, I feel he will try again, even though this was a horrible ending to an already horrible end. He is truly sick and demented, and I guess I'm just as sick for being with him for this long..... Please offer some words of advice. Even a slap thru the computer .. I wouldn't slap you, it gave you reassurance to your decision. I don't see it as a bad thing. Some people cave in and don't get the answer they need, you did.
crashvector Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 sounds like you need some pharmacological intervention 1
crashvector Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Oh man, your post brought me to tears once again, I truly hope someday I can find it , I really do, I feel like I will never love someone again this way, and my self esteem has taking. A hit big time. He thinks his behavior was fine, and as usual my thinking is warped.... Sigh. So sick of feeling sad, and thank you so much for your kind words that even though brought a tear to my eye, I know it could be true someday,, All of us here are dealing with broken hearts....some of us (like me) worse than others...but everyone is hurting. I know how it feels to not be able to breathe, to think, to eat, to sleep, etc. I just keep running through our past together over and over in my head...and it hurts EVERY time. 1
Author Just smile Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 The pain just won't stop the memories flood in continually and I want it to stop I miss what we had even though what we had was toxic even though I realize he needs help that I can't offer him. I miss him I wish things were different and I what him and I never met
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