Venting my Frustration mostly

[bd45]

This guy I was interested in, and at one time I thought he was interested in me - well, he's married to someone else. I messed up, acted crazy, did all the things I shouldn't - but when I congratulated him he thanked me and said it meant a lot to him. Maybe that was politeness only, but I thought maybe our relationship - even though it wasn't what I wanted to be - might be something he valued too, even though his actions don't show it.

 

We struggle in our communication now - everything is misread or misunderstood. I've been really busy, and sought out this guy for help. The minute I asked (I was feeling desperate for answers) I knew I shouldn't have. Maybe he said yes because he felt obligated, I hope that wasn't the case. I explained my problem and that if it was overly challenging I was willing to drop it - he never said one way or another. I continued to work on it for the next day or so, and in my frustration (over my own inability to do the work myself) I told him I had found an alternative and was going to go with that. Then I apologized for asking for help in the first place - I feel like I continue to force him to be in contact with me, and I wanted to apologize. I was being honest, but he took it the wrong way and thought it was an attack on him not working fast enough for me.

 

Honestly, I know I shouldn't have contacted him. I knew it, but why did he say he would help? Is being "decent" really something a lot of guys do? Do guys really feel the need to help some girl they no longer want to contact them or have in their life?

 

I'm asking because I'm not that way. If someone contacts me through email and I have to respond in order to help them, if I'm too busy or don't really want to help I usually don't. I know they aren't going to come knocking on my door asking why not - and I would have done the same. I told him I was working on something I thought would be great, but it was a "have to have it".

 

Maybe I'm just angry I contacted him at all, and annoyed I somehow made a bad situation worse because I asked for some help and recognized a half second too late I shouldn't have asked for.