Mme. Chaucer Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 IMO the very concept of assigning a numerical hotness value to someone we are involved with seriously is ridiculous, and if I were put in that situation at a dinner I would say so. 2
Author Kevn Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 The bigger question is, do you actually love her? Would you still want to be with her if a 'hotter' girl suddenly expressed interest in you? Not once in this thread did I say that I never apologized. I said sorry for saying it the way I did. I'm not going to apologize for not being attracted to her. I can't help something that I cannot control. I'd love to be attracted to her. Yes I actually love her. If I didn't I wouldn't be with her. I have a girl who I find attractive who is interested in me, but I am happy with my girlfriend.
Treasa Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Not once in this thread did I say that I never apologized. I said sorry for saying it the way I did. I'm not going to apologize for not being attracted to her. I can't help something that I cannot control. I'd love to be attracted to her. Yes I actually love her. If I didn't I wouldn't be with her. I have a girl who I find attractive who is interested in me, but I am happy with my girlfriend. Please break up with your girlfriend so she can find a guy who is attracted to her and not attracted to someone else. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 She doesn't know the difference anyway. She thinks it NORMAL for guys to watch porn during sex. Being inexperienced, she doesn't know any better. So it's not hurting her. My first love was kind of a jerk, and my second was generous, loving, and kind. I felt like I'd died and gone to heaven. She'll be over the moon with the next guy. She couldn't possibly go downhill from here! 2
Author Kevn Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 What do you think this girl could possibly be getting out of dealing with that every day? We're talking about the "cutest" girl in high school - I'm sure there are many guys who would find her lust inducing while at the same time appreciating her inner beauty. Like I said, the porn is not hurting her. She doesn't know any better. There are plenty of guys who are attracted to her, good for them. She choose me, not them.
Author Kevn Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 Please break up with your girlfriend so she can find a guy who is attracted to her and not attracted to someone else. It's natural to be attracted to more than one person.
Els Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Not once in this thread did I say that I never apologized. I said sorry for saying it the way I did. I'm not going to apologize for not being attracted to her. I can't help something that I cannot control. I'd love to be attracted to her. Yes I actually love her. If I didn't I wouldn't be with her. I have a girl who I find attractive who is interested in me, but I am happy with my girlfriend. I find it extremely, extremely odd that you can love someone but not be attracted to them at all. Even men with 50-year-old overweight wives have said that they find their wives attractive because they love them. How precisely do you differentiate between attraction and love? Attraction does not need to be purely physical.
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 It's natural to be attracted to more than one person. Yes, but one of them ought to be the person you're having sex with! 1
mellow_yellow Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 (edited) Like I said, the porn is not hurting her. She doesn't know any better. There are plenty of guys who are attracted to her, good for them. She choose me, not them. I'm curious now: how did you two get together? Who asked who out? And even more curious: how exactly do you watch porn while having sex with her? Do you only do it in a room with a TV? And you don't look at her at all during the act? I'm somehow reminded of that weird guy who Miranda dated in an episode of SATC. The one who'd watch porn over her shoulder during sex. Creepy. And sad. I have to second the poster who said that her next bf will look like a king of men in comparison... Edited January 9, 2013 by mellow_yellow 4
Nightsky Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Like I said, the porn is not hurting her. She doesn't know any better. There are plenty of guys who are attracted to her, good for them. She choose me, not them. That's right she chose you not them. You don't seem to care if she changes that decision though. If you do care you'd be a little more respectful. Maybe she's a culturally damaged person as many people are these days and this is the best way to keep her liking you though. As for the porn it's my opinion that it isn't good for you, if you're talking about watching porn... just don't. It's natural to be attracted to more than one person. I would say so, I think you're creating drama by the way you're going about it though. I mean it's natural to want a lot of things but going about them in a certain way will cause you trouble. You need some social intelligence. For your own good not hers. Obviously the people around you will benefit but that shouldn't be the motivation. The reason is your own happiness and well being for how is this situation working for you?
Author Kevn Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 I find it extremely, extremely odd that you can love someone but not be attracted to them at all. I don't. It's not like I'm repulsed by her. There is just no attraction.
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 And you don't look at her at all during the act? Creepy. And sad. I suspect that the OP has some … potency issues of his own, and it's convenient and ego - salvaging to blame it on zero attraction for his poor girlfriend. Maybe he's one of the guys we've heard so much about who is so immersed in porn that he can't be aroused by anything other than porn. I have to second the poster who said that her next bf will look like a king of men in comparison… No kidding. 1
Author Kevn Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 I'm curious now: how did you two get together? Who asked who out? And even more curious: how exactly do you watch porn while having sex with her? Do you only do it in a room with a TV? And you don't look at her at all during the act? I asked her out after we were friends for about a year. That's what laptops and doggy style are for.
Author Kevn Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 I suspect that the OP has some … potency issues of his own, and it's convenient and ego - salvaging to blame it on zero attraction for his poor girlfriend. Maybe he's one of the guys we've heard so much about who is so immersed in porn that he can't be aroused by anything other than porn. Like I already said, not a porn addict. I have no issues. I've slept with plenty of women just fine. She is the only girl that I've ever had problems with. If anything I have the issue of coming too soon, with others.
mellow_yellow Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I asked her out after we were friends for about a year. That's what laptops and doggy style are for. Oh my God. I feel so sad for her. Sad that she got you for a first boyfriend. I can't somehow believe that you staring at a laptop during sex isn't weird. I hope her gfs will enlighten her at some point. Or that she'll do some reading online that'll open her eyes on how she is short-changed by you when it comes to intimacy. 5
Els Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I asked her out after we were friends for about a year. That's what laptops and doggy style are for. What???? Oh, man. Please, let this girl go. She's inexperienced and doesn't know better. YOU do, the onus is on you to do something about it. You need to give both of you a chance to actually find someone you're compatible with, in all aspects. Plenty of LTRs that started out perfectly fine have encountered problems later and failed due to that. Yours doesn't even stand a chance; you don't even have the baseline that you need to begin a relationship with. No girl should be spending her life with a man who can only have sex with her while watching a laptop. Seriously. 3
Author Kevn Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 Oh my God. I feel so sad for her. Sad that she got you for a first boyfriend. I can't somehow believe that you staring at a laptop during sex isn't weird. I hope her gfs will enlighten her at some point. Or that she'll do some reading online that'll open her eyes on how she is short-changed by you when it comes to intimacy. There is nothing to feel sorry for. It's no different than watching porn while masturbating. Considering she thinks it's normal I find it highly unlikely that she'll ask other people about it or read online. She isn't short changed. Sex is sex.
Author Kevn Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 Oh, man. Please, let this girl go. Like I already said, breaking up with her would hurt her and she doesn't want the relationship to end. If she did, she would break up with me.
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 It's no different than watching porn while masturbating. News flash! Having sex with another person involves … another person! Maybe you're a narcissist. 1
Els Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Because she doesn't know that the relationship is seriously mucked up! You're her first bf! Nobody wants a R to end before it ends, but there are times when it's for the best long-term. Your decision, but I really hope your gf finds your thread and reads the comments. 1
mellow_yellow Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 There is nothing to feel sorry for. It's no different than watching porn while masturbating. Considering she thinks it's normal I find it highly unlikely that she'll ask other people about it or read online. She isn't short changed. Sex is sex. Masturbation is a solitary activity. Sex with another human being allows both of you to experience something you can't have with yourself - intimacy, a connection. And you're depriving her of that. That's why I feel sorry for her. It does have a silver lining though. If she thinks sex with YOU is good, her next bf (a bloke who is attracted to her, and will want to look at her during the act) will likely blow her mind. So that's something for her to look forward to, even though she doesn't know it yet. 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Never mind. I really don't believe all of this is for real. 4
Author Kevn Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 News flash! Having sex with another person involves … another person! Maybe you're a narcissist. Clearly you don't understand. Because she doesn't know that the relationship is seriously mucked up! You're her first bf! Nobody wants a R to end before it ends, but there are times when it's for the best long-term. Your decision, but I really hope your gf finds your thread and reads the comments. Either way, she is happy. And plenty of people want a relationship to end before it ends. Try every single person who breaks up with someone else? Idiot. Masturbation is a solitary activity. Sex with another human being allows both of you to experience something you can't have with yourself - intimacy, a connection. And you're depriving her of that. That's why I feel sorry for her. It does have a silver lining though. If she thinks sex with YOU is good, her next bf (a bloke who is attracted to her, and will want to look at her during the act) will likely blow her mind. So that's something for her to look forward to, even though she doesn't know it yet. You don't have to stare at someone the entire time to have 'connection'. Or she will think it's weird. What we are doing is normal to her, anything else would be weird. Only a true narcissist would believe that masturbating by oneself is the same as having sex with another person. It must be a wretched experience for the receptacle. She enjoys it plenty. She wants sex more than I do.
Nightsky Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Kevn my advice to you is to ignore most of the angry women posts and go back and read my advice if you haven't already done so.
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 She enjoys it plenty. She wants sex more than I do. Maybe that's because she's never been sexually fulfilled. I promise you, if this whole mess is for real, that even the most virginal woman will not be enjoying sex with a person who stares at a laptop the whole time and is only capable of "performing" in one position. She's faking it.
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