somedude81 Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 He hasn't said he finds her inner beauty beautiful. He has said that he has to watch porn to come with her during sex, that he is NOT attracted to her. That is soul killing for a person on the receiving end. I'm sure you wouldn't like it very much yourself. I believe that being attracted to ones partner is crucial. You fall in love with what's on the inside. Aren't you one of those people who keeps telling me to go with the heavy girl that's pretty on the inside?
PJKino Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 you make it seem like he called her ugly a 6 is slightly above average no?
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Aren't you one of those people who keeps telling me to go with the heavy girl that's pretty on the inside? No, I NEVER tell you that. NEVER. I respect people's preferences. What I do tell you, over and over, is that you DO have your preferences and thus, it's unreasonable for you to resent the fact that women have their own preferences … even when those happen to eliminate you from their potential dating pool. Regardless of how much you argue about this, your dismissal of fat girls as "not counting" is exactly the same as any girl overlooking you because of your height. And both are perfectly valid. I'm sure you understand what I'm saying. 5
somedude81 Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 No, I NEVER tell you that. NEVER. I respect people's preferences. I'll keep an eye out, just to make sure. I know there are a handful of female posters who do insist I lower my standards. What I do tell you, over and over, is that you DO have your preferences and thus, it's unreasonable for you to resent the fact that women have their own preferences … even when those happen to eliminate you from their potential dating pool. Regardless of how much you argue about this, your dismissal of fat girls as "not counting" is exactly the same as any girl overlooking you because of your height. And both are perfectly valid. I'm sure you understand what I'm saying. Not something I want to get into at this hour.
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I'll keep an eye out, just to make sure. I know there are a handful of female posters who do insist I lower my standards. Not me, though I have probably said that anyone who can sincerely (I mean, truly be open to different types, without feeling that they're now going to "settle") broaden their range regarding physical / age /job / income or whatever standards will have more chances. Anyone, not you particularly. And, I have taken issue with the way you express your feelings about the way you judge women based upon their looks. But that's pretty much beside the point and off topic. I hope that if you had a girlfriend you would NOT tell her that you thought she was a 5 or 6. Bad. 1
Trimmer Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 you make it seem like he called her ugly a 6 is slightly above average no? Why don't you try it on your girlfriend or wife, at a table filled with other people who are looking around and pointing out all the 9's in the room. Oh, and give her the 6 at first, then change your mind "... maybe 5". Then please come back and let us know if your gf/wife thought it was cool that you rated her "slightly above average." 3
Nightsky Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I'm 24 and I've been seeing a 22 year old for a few months. We were out with some friends and one fellow said a girl that walked in was a 10/10. His girlfriend asked him what she was, and he responded with a 10/10. Then this just kept going around the table. My girlfriend didn't ask me what I thought she was, but my friends girlfriend did. Without thinking I said "mm.. 6, maybe 5." When I looked over at her maybe 30 seconds later, she was on the verge of crying. Rating girls on a scale of 1 to 10 is pretty childish. It's just a matter of opinion and it's easy to be critical of some one you don't know. To take a girl you're dating and assign her a number even a 10/10 is pretty wrong. Calling your girl a 6 out of 10 haha... well at least you didn't give her lower but still that's really cruel of you. It shouldn't take much imagination to understand why that would upset her. She's your gf so you should think she's the best. Obviously I'm not condoning you going crazy and thinking she's the hottest girl in the world. But she should be your #1 girl if you understand what I'm saying. She's not an ugly girl, she's just not my type physically per se. She looks innocent and beachy, if that makes sense. She got voted "cutest" in high school for the grade 12 year book. Other girls got "most beautiful" "prettiest", etc. Now she is upset all the time (it's been 5 days). She gets upset now when I hang out with other women that she knows are my type. She never use to have a care in the world. It's annoying. Why are you "hanging out" with other women that are "your type?" I mean why even date this girl if you're not that into her. If you are dating her why not at least pretend to be into her. It just doesn't make sense. How come you don't understand why she would be upset, I mean you should be more confused if she want's upset. Why do you date her? 2
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Also, tell your wife that you need to watch porn during sex. It's best to be honest right? 3
redleader Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Oh boy... Yeah the lesson here is if ever asked something like that, your woman is a 10/10 without question. Even if on an even plane it isn't true, because we can be pretty superficial people sometimes, and there is nothing wrong with that as is our nature to select the most physically attractive mate we can, which only recently added emotional attractiveness with our higher brains, but use some tact damnit.
Necromancer Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 (edited) No, I NEVER tell you that. NEVER. I respect people's preferences. What I do tell you, over and over, is that you DO have your preferences and thus, it's unreasonable for you to resent the fact that women have their own preferences … even when those happen to eliminate you from their potential dating pool. Regardless of how much you argue about this, your dismissal of fat girls as "not counting" is exactly the same as any girl overlooking you because of your height. And both are perfectly valid. I'm sure you understand what I'm saying. Height is 100% genetics. Being fat is a choice, that's the difference. It's like saying rejecting someone for their face (genetics) is the same as for weight. Edited January 9, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
HitMeNow Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Am I missing something? Why are you dating a girl who is "she's just not my type physically per se" and who you would rate with a 6? And I don't agree that your girl should be a 10 / 10. Honesty when honesty is due. But why the **** are you dating her if you really think she's a 6?
Anela Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I'm 24 and I've been seeing a 22 year old for a few months. We were out with some friends and one fellow said a girl that walked in was a 10/10. His girlfriend asked him what she was, and he responded with a 10/10. Then this just kept going around the table. My girlfriend didn't ask me what I thought she was, but my friends girlfriend did. Without thinking I said "mm.. 6, maybe 5." When I looked over at her maybe 30 seconds later, she was on the verge of crying. She's not an ugly girl, she's just not my type physically per se. She looks innocent and beachy, if that makes sense. She got voted "cutest" in high school for the grade 12 year book. Other girls got "most beautiful" "prettiest", etc. Now she is upset all the time (it's been 5 days). She gets upset now when I hang out with other women that she knows are my type. She never use to have a care in the world. It's annoying. It's annoying? If she were a 10/10, would you be more concerned with her feelings? 1
Anela Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 It's not like she didn't know that I wasn't attracted to her. I've never been straight up and said it but I've never called her pretty, beautiful, hot, sexy, etc. At most I'll tell her she looks good when she dresses up. It must be common sense that I wasn't attracted to her. She knows of a few of my ex's, who look nothing like her. Put 1 + 1 together, right? No. What would be common sense, would be you never having asked her out in the first place, if you weren't physically attracted to her. If you're for real, then you've been wasting her time, when she could have been with someone who wanted her in all ways, rather than needing porn in order to get off. I can't believe I'm reading these threads! I've resolved before, to not respond to anything like this, because it's such a waste of time. 1
sillyanswer Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 My girlfriend didn't ask me what I thought she was, but my friends girlfriend did. Without thinking I said "mm.. 6, maybe 5." When I looked over at her maybe 30 seconds later, she was on the verge of crying. Oops! Now she is upset all the time (it's been 5 days). I'm missing the part where you apologised for being a prat. It's annoying. You basically told her, in front of her friends, that you're not really that attracted to her... and you think it's "annoying" that she's upset? How do you think she feels? (i'm going with rejected and humiliated) 1
Anela Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 This! So much this. How many of you have told me and other men strugling with women that we should settle for that women we are not attracted to because she might have a good personality. This is what happens! Do you really want to put a poor woman through it?! Next time you try suggesting that some dude date the overweight girl think about this thread. And next time you suggest that lonely women should date anything with a penis that hits on them, you should think about this thread. 7
Els Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I'll keep an eye out, just to make sure. SD, it's true, she never has. Neither have I, or most of the others. We've explained our position to you multiple times, just has she did in that very post, except you 'didn't want to get into it at that hour'. Regardless of what you think about her position or whether or not you disagree with it, the fact remains that she did not ever tell you, or anybody, to date women you're not attracted to. I know there are a handful of female posters who do insist I lower my standards. I can honestly only think of two, and they're not present in this thread. I also don't think you should listen to them. Most of the others you are misinterpreting. I call troll. Nobody is that dumb. If it is legit and he made a mistake, no one needs to ask if their gf would be upset for saying she was sub-par (he said she was crying). He would have asked us, "It accidentally slipped out of my mouth, can I do anything?" I know, right!?!??! My thoughts as well. He hasn't said he finds her inner beauty beautiful. He has said that he has to watch porn to come with her during sex, that he is NOT attracted to her. That is soul killing for a person on the receiving end. I'm sure you wouldn't like it very much yourself. I believe that being attracted to ones partner is crucial. You fall in love with what's on the inside. This, precisely. Nobody's saying it's wrong for a guy to date anyone who isn't a Megan Fox lookalike. But when you fall in love with someone for their personality, intellect, etc, you are still falling in love. That is the total opposite from the OP's case. If in a parallel universe I absolutely had to be a judge on a Mr. Universe competition and my bf was a participant whom I didn't know, I would not be pronouncing him the winner! And vice versa. But I love him. And because of that, he is incredibly attractive to me. I'm literally attracted to him, I don't have to watch porn to orgasm during sex with him, and I don't have to make a list of reasons why I'm keeping him around. He seems to be the same way with me. Not to mention that there are plenty of ways to handle the question in the OP without being a douche. "She's a HUNDRED in my eyes *kiss*". Too mushy for you? "I don't believe in rating women on a scale, that's just silly." I'm sure we could go on. The point is that the OP made a colossally douchey move and doesn't even realize it. AND he isn't attracted to his gf, not in any way - she's just good on paper for him. 2
crude Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 If a guy is with me and he's my boyfriend, I'm always going to assume he's attractive to me and finds me physically attractive. If he isn't, then he should be with someone else. Suppose a man thinks there are more important things in life than a woman's looks? Maybe if you love someone, you don't give a crap about her looks. That's how men can stay married for 50 years to a now old woman.
Treasa Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 She should have said, "Yeah, but you're only a four, so I'm still doing ok." And then seriously consider dating someone else. 5
edgygirl Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Maybe if you love someone, you don't give a crap about her looks. That's how men can stay married for 50 years to a now old woman. How about a woman willing to stay married for 50 years to a now old men? We all get old in case you didn't notice. 3
crude Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 If a woman isn't particularly attractive and she knows it and her boyfriend knows it but just doesn't care because he loves her, what's the problem? Why should he have to find her beautiful or lie to her? Women are never satisfied. If he judges you on your looks, what about your personality. If he judges you on your personality, what about your looks?
Els Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 If a woman isn't particularly attractive and she knows it and her boyfriend knows it but just doesn't care because he loves her, what's the problem? Why should he have to find her beautiful or lie to her? Women are never satisfied. If he judges you on your looks, what about your personality. If he judges you on your personality, what about your looks? I don't think any sane person can read the OP's posts about his gf and believe he loves her. When you love someone, you actually, y'know, care about their feelings? And you won't think that they're ugly, either. 5
Emilia Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 If a woman isn't particularly attractive and she knows it and her boyfriend knows it but just doesn't care because he loves her, what's the problem? Why should he have to find her beautiful or lie to her? Women are never satisfied. If he judges you on your looks, what about your personality. If he judges you on your personality, what about your looks? I don't think you know how attraction works. It's a combination of looks and traits of personality that you find appealing in the other person. When you are attracted to someone you don't think that person is ugly. 2
crude Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 When you are attracted to someone you don't think that person is ugly. When someone isn't even your physical type yet you rate them 6/10, how does that translate into ugly? 6/10 is above average, not ugly.
dreamingoftigers Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 'She should have known'?? Seriously? If a guy is with me and he's my boyfriend, I'm always going to assume he's attractive to me and finds me physically attractive. If he isn't, then he should be with someone else. Please let this poor woman go. She deserves someone who adores her, not someone who is 'meh' about her. My God, you have the emotional range of a teaspoon... Most porn addicts do have the emotional range of a teaspoon. Poor girl. The next guy is going to seem like Superman compared to this one. 4
dreamingoftigers Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 So honesty is being a jerk now? Nope, being a jerk is being a jerk. 3
Recommended Posts