edgygirl Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Edgy, how does anything you said relate to what he posted? From the few posts Fondue wrote in this thread, he's implying we were hypocrites for judging OP for dating a girl he doesn't find attractive. Which, although weird in itself, was not the reason why we criticized his actions. So, in my last post, I was trying to summarize what everyone's issue was with OP and how he deals with his gf - most of us seem to have a problem with his lack of empathy for the girls' feelings, in both contexts I mentioned above.
KungFuJoe Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Yeah...personally I think what needs to be said has already been said. Op just needs to learn some tact and a bit of compassion. And needs to find a new gf. 1
Keenly Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Both parties messed up on a trap question. My self esteem is a little bit higher than allowing some one else's "number" of me to bother me that much.
somedude81 Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 From the few posts Fondue wrote in this thread, he's implying we were hypocrites for judging OP for dating a girl he doesn't find attractive. Which, although weird in itself, was not the reason why we criticized his actions. So, in my last post, I was trying to summarize what everyone's issue was with OP and how he deals with his gf - most of us seem to have a problem with his lack of empathy for the girls' feelings, in both contexts I mentioned above. From my understanding, he was replying to me about how we can't take dating advice (such as ignore looks and go for personality) seriously because things like the thread starters situation happens and the same people who gave the advice, get all mad when the guy gives an honest answer to the question if he's attracted to her. Basically, "Date girls that you aren't fully attracted to" "What? How dare you tell the truth that you aren't attracted to her! Why are you dating her?" 1
edgygirl Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 From my understanding, he was replying to me about how we can't take dating advice (such as ignore looks and go for personality) seriously because things like the thread starters situation happens and the same people who gave the advice, get all mad when the guy gives an honest answer to the question if he's attracted to her. Basically, "Date girls that you aren't fully attracted to" "What? How dare you tell the truth that you aren't attracted to her! Why are you dating her?" Alright I linked his two posts on this thread in my mind and saw them as a continuum. Maybe I was in fact replying to his first post. And I think you are turning the thread to your specific situation Again, look at the thread as a whole and you'll see why I asked those questions. 1
ThaWholigan Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 From my understanding, he was replying to me about how we can't take dating advice (such as ignore looks and go for personality) seriously because things like the thread starters situation happens and the same people who gave the advice, get all mad when the guy gives an honest answer to the question if he's attracted to her. Basically, "Date girls that you aren't fully attracted to" "What? How dare you tell the truth that you aren't attracted to her! Why are you dating her?" Is it the "same" posters though? 1
somedude81 Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Alright I linked his two posts on this thread in my mind and saw them as a continuum. Maybe I was in fact replying to his first post. And I think you are turning the thread to your specific situation Again, look at the thread as a whole and you'll see why I asked those questions. Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear. BTW, all threads are somedude threads. Did you read the TOS? Is it the "same" posters though? Don't all women share a hive mind? Except for the few that have individual thought.
mesmerized Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I would have broken up with you over that for sure. That must have been humiliating for her. 5
edgygirl Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear. Well this sequence below makes perfect sense in my mind. Since we were young, we promote liking each other for our "character" and who is on the "inside." This person clearly exemplifies this, as he is with a woman because he finds her inner beauty to be just that-- beautiful. And you are all trying to villainize him for it? Hypocrites. This! So much this. How many of you have told me and other men strugling with women that we should settle for that women we are not attracted to because she might have a good personality. This is what happens! Do you really want to put a poor woman through it?! Next time you try suggesting that some dude date the overweight girl think about this thread. Yah, after reading this thread and the reaction most of these women gave validates that we simply can't take advice on this forum seriously. People talk about both sides of their mouth. So you think it's perfectly okay that: 1) He told her to her face AND in a social setting, in front of their friends, that she's a 5; 2) He'll continue dating her if the only way he can have sex with her is if he watches porn at the same time. Is it fair to her, as she obviously wasn't aware this is the case? People were not judging him for falling for her personality first. This wasn't the point. 1
sharsh Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Okay. I get what some of the posters are saying about being honest. Nobody wants to be lied to. But. COME. ON. When something so TRIVIAL comes up, like rating your SIGNIFICANT OTHERS looks. And not only that, but IN FRONT of friends.. REALLY? This whole thing makes me so upset. It's not okay to lie, yes, you're right. But since when did that mean, it's okay to humiliate or put down your SO? Especially in front of other people? IMO, if OP doesn't find this girl attractive enough to the point where he has to "watch porn '85%' of the time, or he won't even get off" That's just sad. This girl deserves better. Someone who doesn't point out how unattractive she is. This relationship is doomed. 6
Ruby Slippers Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 And yet several posters on this thread have claimed in other threads that you should NEVER lie. "If he lied about X, he'd lie about everything!" Silly people. He didn't have to lie. All he had to do was have some tact. Given his response, he's obviously not very bright, or he doesn't care about his girlfriend. Imagine if they'd been asking about the men's penis size, or sexual performance. How do you think he would have felt if his girlfriend had given him a 6/10 on either of those, in front of everybody? A more tactful, respectful answer would have been something like: "He keeps me plenty satisfied." This guy could have answered the question in a different way than he did, a way that would have been honest and respectful of his girlfriend. The girlfriend didn't ask him. Some other girl asked. But now that he's admitted he doesn't find her very attractive, it's on her if she wants to stay with him and feel unappreciated and undesired. 7
ThaWholigan Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Okay. I get what some of the posters are saying about being honest. Nobody wants to be lied to. But. COME. ON. When something so TRIVIAL comes up, like rating your SIGNIFICANT OTHERS looks. And not only that, but IN FRONT of friends.. REALLY? This whole thing makes me so upset. It's not okay to lie, yes, you're right. But since when did that mean, it's okay to humiliate or put down your SO? Especially in front of other people? IMO, if OP doesn't find this girl attractive enough to the point where he has to "watch porn '85%' of the time, or he won't even get off" That's just sad. This girl deserves better. Someone who doesn't point out how unattractive she is. This relationship is doomed. He shouldn't have gone out with her in the first place IMO. 4
Sugarkane Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Someone should rate the OP's penis a 6/10. How would he like that? And if you're too focused on porn 85% of the time, you're probably not a good lover either. 5
sharsh Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 He shouldn't have gone out with her in the first place IMO. Agreed. Since he apparently has so much "trouble" seeing past looks. 2
kaylan Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Wow...is this thread real life? Either the OP is very dumb or this is a fake thread. Why on Earth would you say what you did OP. The correct answer to the question your friend asked you is "my babe is a 10 in my book". Dude how in the world are you confused about why she is upset? Better yet, why are you with a girl you dont find greatly attractive. My ex was probably a 7 to most people..if Ihad to rate her empirically. But to me she was a10 because of her total package. Sure she was sexy in her own right, but the way we clicked and the way I felt about her made the attraction much greater than a 5. Find that in a gf and let the current gal go find a dude who truly values her. And a guy who wont embarass her either. 7
Sugarkane Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I hate how arrogant a lot of young guys are. That makes you even less than a 6/10 to me OP. Arrogance isn't attractive. 3
florence of suburbia Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Your mistake was revealing what a d*ckhead you are in front of all those people. Your girl probably didn't quite know that before. 7
skydiveaddict Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 My girlfriend didn't ask me what I thought she was, but my friends girlfriend did. Without thinking I said "mm.. 6, maybe 5." When I looked over at her maybe 30 seconds later, she was on the verge of crying. Yea, not a good move. She never use to have a care in the world. It's annoying. I'm betting she's now a lot more annoyed than you know. 2
Trimmer Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 So honesty is being a jerk now? No being honest by itself does not make you a jerk. So what's better having sex with her but having to watch porn or cheating on her? Obviously the first option there. Those are not your only two options. Yes, they are. It's not that you're a jerk because you're honest. It appears that you are a jerk and you are honest. Incidentally, I have to laugh at your "6, maybe 5..." delivery. It would have been a bad enough scene if you had just given her a flat out 6 (that's the blade going in), but then to proceed to refine your estimate in the downward direction? Wow, that's twisting the knife. It may have been off-the-cuff for you, but you couldn't have written the line any more subtly cruel if you'd scripted it beforehand. Let's just say it told her what she needs to know, and I don't mean about her looks. 4
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I would be livid and you wouldn't be my boyfriend anymore 2
somedude81 Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Someone should rate the OP's penis a 6/10. I'd actually be fine if a girl thought my penis was a 6 out of 10. That's average and exactly what mine is. If somebody said my penis was a 9 out of 10, I'd know they were lying or have no basis of judgement.
Million.to.1 Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 This thread HAS to be a joke. No one is THAT stupid. 1
TheFinalWord Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Wow...is this thread real life? Either the OP is very dumb or this is a fake thread. I call troll. Nobody is that dumb. If it is legit and he made a mistake, no one needs to ask if their gf would be upset for saying she was sub-par (he said she was crying). He would have asked us, "It accidentally slipped out of my mouth, can I do anything?" 6
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Since we were young, we promote liking each other for our "character" and who is on the "inside." This person clearly exemplifies this, as he is with a woman because he finds her inner beauty to be just that-- beautiful. And you are all trying to villainize him for it? Hypocrites. He hasn't said he finds her inner beauty beautiful. He has said that he has to watch porn to come with her during sex, that he is NOT attracted to her. That is soul killing for a person on the receiving end. I'm sure you wouldn't like it very much yourself. I believe that being attracted to ones partner is crucial. You fall in love with what's on the inside. 5
Negative Nancy Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I'm 24 and I've been seeing a 22 year old for a few months. We were out with some friends and one fellow said a girl that walked in was a 10/10. His girlfriend asked him what she was, and he responded with a 10/10. Then this just kept going around the table. My girlfriend didn't ask me what I thought she was, but my friends girlfriend did. Without thinking I said "mm.. 6, maybe 5." When I looked over at her maybe 30 seconds later, she was on the verge of crying. She's not an ugly girl, she's just not my type physically per se. She looks innocent and beachy, if that makes sense. She got voted "cutest" in high school for the grade 12 year book. Other girls got "most beautiful" "prettiest", etc. Now she is upset all the time (it's been 5 days). She gets upset now when I hang out with other women that she knows are my type. She never use to have a care in the world. It's annoying. You're such a dumbass, she should've dumped you on the spot. This why women should never get involved with men whose real "type" is completely different from her. 2
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