serial muse Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 drama = love.... why nice guys finish last... they are boring you did 2 good things, "stirred the pot" (drama) and you told her how it was... she needed to fix her attitude around you... good things to do I see several comments on here, such as this one, about how the OP's anecdote goes to show that it's good for a guy to tell a girl to fix her attitude, and the ladies like that, etc. But you guys - her response to his request for her to adjust her attitude was "you are funny". This is somehow a satisfying response that indicates she's going to shape up or whatever? Because it sounds like just another brush-off to me. She's still not taking the OP seriously. Far as I can tell, this person just wasn't into him, regardless. 6
dreamingoftigers Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I never found "angry, demanding" guy attractive. In fact, when my husband was going up/down and all over the map was when I found him least attractive. I'm glad some of the guys on this thread are really making him look that much better now. I get a nice arm around me during the morning drive vs. A rude txt from some next-to stranger telling me to "fix" something for him. Guess which one I prefer? Guess which one says "this one's a keeper?" 3
NoMoreJerks Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I see several comments on here, such as this one, about how the OP's anecdote goes to show that it's good for a guy to tell a girl to fix her attitude, and the ladies like that, etc. But you guys - her response to his request for her to adjust her attitude was "you are funny". This is somehow a satisfying response that indicates she's going to shape up or whatever? Because it sounds like just another brush-off to me. She's still not taking the OP seriously. Far as I can tell, this person just wasn't into him, regardless. Well, if the purpose of the OP was attention-whoring, it was a success... kinda... even if the end-result is not positive for him in terms of getting this woman to behave the way he wants her to behave... I will never take anyone's manipulation attempts seriously. I'd probably laugh it off, too, and consider the guy a psycho. 2
NoMoreJerks Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I never found "angry, demanding" guy attractive. In fact, when my husband was going up/down and all over the map was when I found him least attractive. I'm glad some of the guys on this thread are really making him look that much better now. I get a nice arm around me during the morning drive vs. A rude txt from some next-to stranger telling me to "fix" something for him. Guess which one I prefer? Guess which one says "this one's a keeper?" My ex always got responses to nice/sweet texts. But every now and then, he'd give me the attention-whoring type "tantrum" text, and it would really make me go, wtf? I would often not even respond to these texts, and wouldn't pick up the phone when he called after sending me those pissy texts... He would get even more upset.. I realized that he was clearly being a psycho and was trying to manipulate me into giving him some attention, and wanted to control me... I would then manipulate him right back, because with people like that, the only way to get along, is to play their own game. I would not respond to texts or take the call, and a few hours later, if he called me again and asked "where were you? I was texting you/called you", I would tell him I was busy, invigilating an exam or something like that. Truth is, I wasn't TOO busy to pick up the call, but I wasn't about to feed his ego and give him the attention he was craving. In retrospect, I should've given him all the freedom to be the psycho that he was..... by dumping his lazy, sorry ass, and letting him practice his tantrums and attention-whoring on some other chick... Maybe on Thai prostitutes...
MissLiberty Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 If I send happy monday, good morning, have a nice day. No comment Today I send this and got a reply in 3 mins "I;m not liking don't I like the vibe I been getting from your text messages lately and you I think you need to fix that. Talk to you later" Her reply...."you are funny" When I sent text saying....."Happy Monday, How is your day going" NOTHING LOL. Women like controversial messages Are you inferring that you are a woman? You behave in the same manner, on the forum.
Radu Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I never found "angry, demanding" guy attractive. In fact, when my husband was going up/down and all over the map was when I found him least attractive. I'm glad some of the guys on this thread are really making him look that much better now. I get a nice arm around me during the morning drive vs. A rude txt from some next-to stranger telling me to "fix" something for him. Guess which one I prefer? Guess which one says "this one's a keeper?" The problem with you is that you are a normal level-headed honest woman who fought for her marriage [when others wouldn't]. Unfortunately, not all women are like that ... 2
SpiralOut Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I see several comments on here, such as this one, about how the OP's anecdote goes to show that it's good for a guy to tell a girl to fix her attitude, and the ladies like that, etc. But you guys - her response to his request for her to adjust her attitude was "you are funny". This is somehow a satisfying response that indicates she's going to shape up or whatever? Because it sounds like just another brush-off to me. She's still not taking the OP seriously. Far as I can tell, this person just wasn't into him, regardless. I noticed that too but wasn't going to say anything . . . . Most people in my neck of the woods use the word "funny" as a nice way of saying they don't like something a person did. 1
Author PhillyDude Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 I see several comments on here, such as this one, about how the OP's anecdote goes to show that it's good for a guy to tell a girl to fix her attitude, and the ladies like that, etc. But you guys - her response to his request for her to adjust her attitude was "you are funny". This is somehow a satisfying response that indicates she's going to shape up or whatever? Because it sounds like just another brush-off to me. She's still not taking the OP seriously. Far as I can tell, this person just wasn't into him, regardless. She sent a text on sunday night asking........"Did you enjoy your football game" So she goes 3 or 4 days without saying anything or if I call she will pick up. One night I called her and she sent a text saying...."On the phone" She called in 15 mins after that because if she had not then I would be done. She already invited me to come meet her at a restaurant with her girlfriend and I told her no because it was last minute and I didn't want to sit her girlfriend. I have been trying to meet someone else on level physically but it's so damm hard.
dreamingoftigers Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Same here, it took me some time to realize that my husband was yanking me chain and that nothing would ever be good enough because he just wanted an emotional dumping ground at the time. I refused to respond to any ignorant texts. Still do. I told him straight out when asked, "yes, I know you were texting/calling." Pretty quickly, consciously or subconsciously, he got the pattern. I have not received a rude text in a couple of years. It's nice to be able to talk and listen freely without the other person (or yourself) trying to guess the next six moves ahead. Pretty soon that becomes a game with no winners. We will take upset calls or actual behavioral complaints from one another: but as soon as it gets rude or the volume goes up a notch, it's intermission time. And that's mutual. Consequently, our marriage is much more respectful and productive. It's Aldo much closer. I visited my mother in law who still employs those manipulative games. I honestly don't know how my H survived a childhood there. I spent 48 hours there and felt emotionally burned. Plus because I have been rather non-reactive with those outbursts, she went APE trying to get something out of me. Her mood shifted from raging/crying/laughter/self-pity quicker and quicker. Sometimes in the space of five minutes. It is a form of abuse. The guys on this thread have mentioned the "highs and lows." Another closely linked phenomenon is the abuse-cycle, which is filled with highs and lows until eventually the "highs" get shorter and shorter. And the explosiveness is more pronounced. If a girl is responding as planned to the manipulations, you've begun a VERY UNHEALTHY association. I HOPE that most guys don't in earnest wish to put the potential person they are dating through a world of hurt to provide them with a "high" just to get laid. I would HOPE that the men on here would not victimize someone would would be vulnerable to that type of treatment. Something tells me that I am very very wrong. My ex always got responses to nice/sweet texts. But every now and then, he'd give me the attention-whoring type "tantrum" text, and it would really make me go, wtf? I would often not even respond to these texts, and wouldn't pick up the phone when he called after sending me those pissy texts... He would get even more upset.. I realized that he was clearly being a psycho and was trying to manipulate me into giving him some attention, and wanted to control me... I would then manipulate him right back, because with people like that, the only way to get along, is to play their own game. I would not respond to texts or take the call, and a few hours later, if he called me again and asked "where were you? I was texting you/called you", I would tell him I was busy, invigilating an exam or something like that. Truth is, I wasn't TOO busy to pick up the call, but I wasn't about to feed his ego and give him the attention he was craving. In retrospect, I should've given him all the freedom to be the psycho that he was..... by dumping his lazy, sorry ass, and letting him practice his tantrums and attention-whoring on some other chick... Maybe on Thai prostitutes... 1
christine07 Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Because it sparks emotion.. my ex would respond 9 times outta 10 when I sent him a text that was negative. Sucks but just true.
dreamingoftigers Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Seriously D, there's a whole spectrum of people out there. Not just drama queens/incels/bad boys. A whole spectrum. You don't have to be an "incel" and you don't have to be an "*******." You can be a healthy person, and reach out to other people in healthy ways and have healthy relationships. Of course if you pander to a low-base level, you'll get swarmed with a lot of low-base attention. So far your excuse seems to be "society made me and there's a shortage of drama queens banging down my door otherwise." Maybe you can be the one guy in your generation that has some self-respect and doesn't need to be a doormat NOR a guy who plays stupid manipulative games to boost his own ego via vagina. Maybe you can say "**** that ****, I'm going to treat myself and others with respect and not walk on people or let them walk on me, and when I find a woman that's my equal in that regard, maybe we'll date." Somehow your ancestors ALL OF THEM were able to live long enough and be attractive enough to each other to mate. Somehow that happened. You got here somehow. It probably wasn't because Great-grandpa George was a PUA. 2
D-Lish Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 Of course there is an instinct in all of us to respond quickly when we feel attacked. Judgement, accusations, angry words, make people feel defensive- and will often elicit a fast response. 2
NoMoreJerks Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 a guy who plays stupid manipulative games to boost his own ego via vagina. lol.... that's a great description of my ex.... Quote of the week! 2
MissLiberty Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 If I send happy monday, good morning, have a nice day. No comment Today I send this and got a reply in 3 mins "I;m not liking don't I like the vibe I been getting from your text messages lately and you I think you need to fix that. Talk to you later" Her reply...."you are funny" When I sent text saying....."Happy Monday, How is your day going" NOTHING LOL. Women like controversial messages It's all part of your negative cycle, negative attention from a woman is better than no attention at all. One way or another, you sabotage any chance of a healthy relationship. Fortunately for the women, you do something, or say something that makes you undesirable prior to the first phone call and or meeting. Usually the woman comes away unscathed, and you, none the wiser are doomed to repeat the same mistake. Next step in the cycle, assure that internet forum members are doomed to get sucked into the vortex of another PhillyDude/TVandSportsGuy thread, by exchanging barbs with forum members, and threatening to report members who attempts to offer sage advice. Toward the end of the cycle, the truth becomes too much for you handle, you run crying to the powers that be, and beg for them to close/lock yet another one of your threads. Rinse and repeat. the power that be and beg for the thread to be closed. Rinse and repeat. 1
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