RR1 Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Hey guys need some advice if anyone thinks they can offer constructive advice it would be much appreciated. There is a really nice girl that i am mad keen on and i have known for a few years now. We used to work together but we both moved on from the firm we worked at so we don't see each other as often. I have started a small business since then and she comes round and helps out from time-to-time, she's invaluable, really professional and business orientated. Now it was obvious from an early stage that we both liked each other very much, the attraction was definitely mutual. We started going out on a few dates occasionally and from there we became really very attached to each other. We were best friends but also very much in love, never had i experienced such a connection with someone as i did with her. We had quite a few ups and downs that were mainly driven by our poor communication with each other, we just never seemed to get the communication bit right and that resulted in misunderstandings and unnecessary arguments. The feelings never diminshed though. We ended up taking a break from each other for a bit but that resulted in us both being completely miserable without each other. When we met-up again to talk things over it was obvious that all those feelings were still there for both of us. We tried again but unfortunately we failed again just down to poor communication, my opinion was that poor communication can be worked on and improved. We have both had major issues that we have needed to work through and we have both put in alot of work on our respective problems and have both made an awful lot of progress. Of course we both still have work to do but then who doesn't. I really thought that with the amount of progress we have made with our respective problems (not problems related to our relationship but general life problems that we all endure) it was the ideal time to try again. Now the problem i'm facing is that i have brought-up the possibilty of us trying again with our relationship but she says that she is not interested and would rather be just friends. The issue that is confusing me is that she says she is only interested in having a friendship but i get the impression that is not the case. She drops hints that she wants more than a friendship and her body langauge suggests otherwise but everytime i bring the subject up she keeps saying that we should be just friends. I'm happy to do that if that is really what she wants but i would love to try again and she knows that because i have made it quite clear, i don't want to waste a once in a life-time opportunity because i really do think that much of her. I just get the impression that she wants more than just friends but everytime i mention it she says no let's be friends. I don't want to make a nuisance of myself by keep asking a girl who isn't interested in me but i really do get the strong impression that she is interested. Maybe i'm going about asking her the wrong way, she is very shy and doesn't articulate her feelings with a lot of words. She is one of those people who you have to listen carefully to because one small comment can have a lot of signficance attached to it. It has taken me a long-time to understand how she communicates and i'm still not fully there yet. She's incredibly intelligent and has a lot of depth to her, she really is the most fascinating person i have ever met and i would love to have a relationship with her. So what do you think? Am i missing something important or misinterpreting the signals. Constructive comments would be greatly appreciated.
Author RR1 Posted January 11, 2013 Author Posted January 11, 2013 Ok then, not much feedback there so i'll just think out loud. I guess i have made it pretty clear that i would have liked another chance and despite what her body language may have told me her voice was telling me no so i have to respect that and let her get on with her life. I think i'm probably just going to stop thinking it over, what's done is done, if she didn't want me then there's nothing more i think i could have done to reassure her. I did my best but maybe your best sometimes isn't good enough no matter how much you wish it was. I'm sort of getting philisophical about the situation now, you gave it your best shot and failed, i'm all out of ideas if i'm honest. You can only ask someone so many times and i definitely don't feel comfortable asking again. I have been turned down too many times for that. I would definitely feel like i was being a nuisance to someone if i did that and i'm not going to make a nuisance of myself. I'll leave it with her and if she wants to contact me and discuss things i will be happy to and if she doesn't then i guess i have my answer. She knows where i am if she wants to talk with me. 1
NoMoreJerks Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 If you need to ask the question, then you already have your answer... Also, she has clearly told you she just wants to be friends. If she wanted more, she would've let you know, in no uncertain terms. You are over-analyzing.
Author RR1 Posted January 11, 2013 Author Posted January 11, 2013 If you need to ask the question, then you already have your answer... Also, she has clearly told you she just wants to be friends. If she wanted more, she would've let you know, in no uncertain terms. You are over-analyzing. OK point taken NMJ, thanks. I'll let it go.
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