oh the drama

[steelpantherrocks]

ive posted on here before about my drama that transpired in October..

heres the just of it..

lived together 4 yrs

together for 4.5

engaged for 2 yrs

11 yrs difference between us, im 36 shes 25.

 

the last year of our relationship was tough alot of bs and drama, anyway towards the end we just grew apart, she met some single trashy girls i started having fun and hanging out with my guy buddies and those who i lost touch with over the 4 yrs.

 

we didnt get along alot, we were like oil and water, i supported her fully she worked but i enjoyed and wanted to help her out. helped her pay off debt and we lived a pretty comfortable life, lots of traveling, concerts partying etc. i gave her everything but she was super insecure and very lazy. all i asked was instead of a financial contribution that she helped out around the house which i could never get her to do. i began to resent her and started to become a bit on the angry side, i felt as though i was her dad half the time instead of her lover. she was never affectionate towards me except during the first 6 months of our relationship, i told her many times that i needed this but it never really panned out. she was distant and never showed emotion and actually said showing emotion shows weakness so take what you want from that.

 

as time went on i began to be a bit more out going, my ex didnt have a tonne of friends and whenever i mentioned other women id get the 50 question interogation about how i knew them etc. i hated it so much. it happened alot and finally i just stopped telling her. i never befriended any of these women for anything more than to talk. i was still am so attracted to my ex i think she is just a doll, but i was lacking that intellect connection between her and i. these other people had an interest in my life job, goals etc. it was harmless honest. she caught me a few times lying to her about these relationships. ive been to counseling for the past 4 months now, i realize now i was scared to be confronted by her and i consciously didnt want to hurt her feelings. i know it was wrong and i kick myself in the ass daily for being so stupid.

 

anyway the lying and anger was ultimately our demise in late august. she threw my ring at me and wanted out of the relationship. i decided to go to councelling to maybe get her to see i was serious about changing. we began councelling together first part of sept to try and work it out. the therapist suggested i go live with my parents for a month to give her space etc to see if its what she wanted. about halfway through sept my ex began to speak with a guy we both knew quite frequently behind my back. i had always suspected this guy as a dog earlier on and even confronted him to back off earlier on that summer. towards the end of sept without my knowledge they had began to be quite close, phone calls daily texts etc. i only found this out cause i pay the phone bill. its how i found out a month later this even was going on. anyways the last weekend we were technically together (did i mention we hadnt slept together in almost a month) she had gone out with a friend and didnt come home, wouldn't answer the phone texts nothing, i ended up getting a hold of her the next morning almost at noon saying she was at her friends house drinking etc. this has happened before and i find it extremely rude and disrespectful to do that to someone you are apparently in love with. when i finally got a hold of her she played it off like no big deal. she apologized and she said it wouldnt happen again. well not 12 hours later the exact same thing happened. when i called her friend at 3am to talk to her she blew me off like i was some looser and basically laughed at me, i lost it and went home and grabbed all her belongings and threw them into front door way of our house and told her she needed to get out of my house. what makes things even worse is that she was seen with the other guy that night and my buddy said they left together..

 

so after the dust settled and she moved out obviously i tried to get her back blah blah , cried begged the whole works, almost for a month. the entire time she was cold, wouldnt see me, didnt want contact etc. well heres why. the guy she befriended (who is a friend of mine and thats how they met) had been having sex a mere day after she moved out and this continued till almost mid November. if i hadnt looked at the phone bill i would have never have known. when i found out i freaked out, calls texts the entire story. so hurt and so angry at both of them. i ran into this clown earlier on at thanksgiving and confronted him about them hanging out (i didnt know they were sleeping together at this time) and he said they seen eachother that weekend and that was the last time he saw her. i began to tell him how we were trying to make it work etc etc and really made an ass out of myself because i didnt know they were screwing yet. really embarrasssing and ive know this guy for almost 10 yrs which makes it worse.

 

so anyway things got ugly with the ex and i , i began with the nasty texts emails etc, i wanted to hurt her as much as she hurt me,she explained to me that she befriended this guy at first for friendship because he made her laugh and it turned into more.. i call bs, she was setting herself up to be with him well before we even split up and knew exactly what she was doing. anyway he ended up dumping her a month later and she began to get depressed etc and blamed me because i was being mean to her etc when i know as fact she was very hurt by this guy dumping her. anyway, fast forward to last week, its been almost 4 months since we were together and i have since started seeing someone now but it really bothers me still about this guy, and how easy it was for her to just sleep with this guy so soon after we split. we had almost 5 yrs together and i thought she had a bit more respect for me and herself than that. we talked finally last week and she tried to tell me it was just sex because we hadnt had sex in almost a month when it first happened and that she didnt understand how this guy got women cause hes not that good looking. also that she would never date him and knows hes not boyfriend material. during that time also she has been plenty sexually active with all sorts of random guys all over town. i had asked her to have some class and think before she starts hooking up with anyone who will have her cause she will cause me and her alot of headaches. im from our town i own a few businesses and i know alot of people where as she isnt and knows very little. anyway im quite happy in my new relationship this girl is everything thus far that my ex wasnt, im not comparing but she has alot of great qualities. prob is why do i even care what this tramp is doing. its obvious she got roasted by this guy and cant admit it and totally contradicts herself about her reasons, she said she made a mistake, but a mistake is once or twice not 2 months. i now look at her so differently and almost like trash. what happened to her. i worry for her well being cause now shes turned into a drunk and her only concern is where her next dick is coming from and where the party is at. who is this person. i remember when we got together she had just come out of a year long relationship and told me that she was hooking up with this other guy before she had broken it off with that guy too. what an idiot i am. shes desperate or something. like i said i do not look at her the same when we have contact now i just look at her like shes some whore. i cant even believe it but why do i even care. is it because i always looked after her? i wake up mid sleep sometimes to vivid dreams of her with other guys. its like haunting me. i want zero to do with this girl, i know we are no good for one another but i cant shake the sex stuff, its driving me mad.haha. im still hurt i think about what happened, i mean i hold sex a bit more serious, she said who cares its just sex, it means nothing. i asked my buddies and they even said it would drive them crazy if it happened to them. other women say they have more respect for themselves than to go hop on some guy days after and dont randomly hook up with guys and sleep with them. plus she doesnt like condoms so i know shes barebacking these sleazy pigs. why do i even care..sorry for the novel but wow its been quite the few months i tell ya.

[user6667]

She's really gotten close to you right. Must be painful man. Must be really heavy seeing her like this.

Good to hear you've found somebody else, someone better for you. Hope you'll be happy and you can leave the ex behind you.

[steelpantherrocks]

its like the never ending nightmare man, honest. its like she has all this pent up sexual frusteration or she needs to bang randoms for validation cause she has such low self esteem. this chick is cold man, like i was pretty banged up after we split, took her weeks to get her stuff out of my house left me with her cat all because she was too "distracted" as she said. well i obviously know why now. just made a fool of me, and too boot i supported this troll for 4 years, and basically she made an ass of me, i totally feel roasted. it took me a while to finally get it through my head that i didnt want her back, i would have even after i found out about that other dude but now, pfft, shes not worth my time, such a looser. i often wonder what happens to these girls that end up used and abused by the bar crowd. they never find happiness i bet. just jump from 1 dude to the next.quite sad, a few lies and she makes it out to be like i bedded down with a dozen women. wow.