nes9 Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 So as you can see in a previous post of mine, my ex left me for her LONG DISTANCE ex boyfriend a week ago from tomorrow. She is returning from christmas break tomorrow as our new semester starts and she attempts to "work things out" with her LDR that failed once already. I am SO tempted to contact her to sorta "talk things out" for closure. I keep convincing myself that it is the right thing to do because we are in all of the same classes, including one small elective, so i should patch things up with her. My mind is playing tricks on me though, because in the back of my head I know the real reason for wanting to contact her is to meet up and talk about our relationship and try to put thoughts in her head so we can get back together if her LDR fails again, which I hope happens quickly. Tomorrow it will one week of NC exactly which is FAR better than I have ever done in previous breakups. Just knowing she is back in town will make it so hard for me to keep NC, I know my mind will try to talk me into a good reason to meet up with her and "mend things" before the semester starts. I suppose just by posting this I am talking myself out of doing it but post anything for me to read to help keep me from doing it! If anything, meeting up with her will only drive her closer to her ex-bf as she will know she still has me wrapped around her finger. I gotta hold strong....
Chi townD Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 You want me to talk you out of contacting her? Okay! It's going to be a gut check of reality that's going to hurt a bit. Right now, she's re-connected with her Ex. She has to return to school next week. So! She's probably not going to answer her phone because she going to squeeze every waking moment with this dude and can't be bothered with you right now, having romantic nights out for dinner, holding hands, cuddling on the couch. Now, if I know I'm not gonna see my wife for a little while if I'm going on a trip. I'm going to bed her as much as possible to tide me over while I'm gone. SO! Right now, she's probably having hot, passionate monkey sex with this dude and probably a couple of times a day. So, they'll be alright and satisfied until they can meet up again. She's probably doing things to him that she'll never do for you to keep him interested and true while she's away. And also, have the knowledge that the afternoon she's due back at school, they knocked it out that morning for one last time. NOW!!! Do you feel like contacting her? 3
flitzanu Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 So as you can see in a previous post of mine, my ex left me for her LONG DISTANCE ex boyfriend a week ago from tomorrow. She is returning from christmas break tomorrow as our new semester starts and she attempts to "work things out" with her LDR that failed once already. I am SO tempted to contact her to sorta "talk things out" for closure. I keep convincing myself that it is the right thing to do because we are in all of the same classes, including one small elective, so i should patch things up with her. My mind is playing tricks on me though, because in the back of my head I know the real reason for wanting to contact her is to meet up and talk about our relationship and try to put thoughts in her head so we can get back together if her LDR fails again, which I hope happens quickly. Tomorrow it will one week of NC exactly which is FAR better than I have ever done in previous breakups. Just knowing she is back in town will make it so hard for me to keep NC, I know my mind will try to talk me into a good reason to meet up with her and "mend things" before the semester starts. I suppose just by posting this I am talking myself out of doing it but post anything for me to read to help keep me from doing it! If anything, meeting up with her will only drive her closer to her ex-bf as she will know she still has me wrapped around her finger. I gotta hold strong.... she left YOU. why do you need to patch things up? she did you wrong, you don't have anything to prove or clear up. 2
Lasatra Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 And again I like to promote this thread!! It helps you as it had helped me ^^ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/281193-all-new-no-contact-thread
Author nes9 Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 You want me to talk you out of contacting her? Okay! It's going to be a gut check of reality that's going to hurt a bit. Right now, she's re-connected with her Ex. She has to return to school next week. So! She's probably not going to answer her phone because she going to squeeze every waking moment with this dude and can't be bothered with you right now, having romantic nights out for dinner, holding hands, cuddling on the couch. Now, if I know I'm not gonna see my wife for a little while if I'm going on a trip. I'm going to bed her as much as possible to tide me over while I'm gone. SO! Right now, she's probably having hot, passionate monkey sex with this dude and probably a couple of times a day. So, they'll be alright and satisfied until they can meet up again. She's probably doing things to him that she'll never do for you to keep him interested and true while she's away. And also, have the knowledge that the afternoon she's due back at school, they knocked it out that morning for one last time. NOW!!! Do you feel like contacting her? Hahaha that was funny.... cuz I know its true.
Chi townD Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 (edited) The hard part for you is when she gets back. Fun time for her will be over and she'll want to talk to you about becoming friends. She doesn't want things to become weird for either of you, so, she's gonna want the friend zone in a bad way. I'm about willing to bet my paycheck that if she approaches you, she'll have a lot of time on the plane to formulate what she's going to say to you. I think Ive got what she'll say down to the last word. "Hey, can we talk?" (you should say, We have nothing to talk about. You made your choice and I wasn't it.) "I didn't mean for this to happen and I really didn't mean to hurt you." (I agree, I'm sure you didn't MEAN to hurt me.) " I still really care about you and I hope we can still be friends" (No, I didn't get into a loving and commited relationship with you for the end result is me being nothing more than a really good friend to you. You made a choice to have me out of your life and your Ex back in. So, I'm going to bow out and you have what you want. Have a nice life.) OH!! and one more thing. She MIGHT bring up. "Well, you knew I still had feelings for my Ex when I first met you." Thus, shifting blame of her behavior on you. (You told me that you were over him and that you were committed to our relationship. So, now you're telling me that you were lying. Gotcha. Have a nice life.) Edited January 8, 2013 by Chi townD 2
Author nes9 Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 The hard part for you is when she gets back. Fun time for her will be over and she'll want to talk to you about becoming friends. She doesn't want things to become weird for either of you, so, she's gonna want the friend zone in a bad way. I'm about willing to bet my paycheck that if she approaches you, she'll have a lot of time on the plane to formulate what she's going to say to you. I think Ive got what she'll say down to the last word. "Hey, can we talk?" (you should say, We have nothing to talk about. You made your choice and I wasn't it.) "I didn't mean for this to happen and I really didn't mean to hurt you." (I agree, I'm sure you didn't MEAN to hurt me.) " I still really care about you and I hope we can still be friends" (No, I didn't get into a loving and commited relationship with you for the end result is me being nothing more than a really good friend to you. You made a choice to have me out of your life and your Ex back in. So, I'm going to bow out and you have what you want. Have a nice life.) OH!! and one more thing. She MIGHT bring up. "Well, you knew I still had feelings for my Ex when I first met you." Thus, shifting blame of her behavior on you. (You told me that you were over him and that you were committed to our relationship. So, now you're telling me that you were lying. Gotcha. Have a nice life.) Thanks dude that is pretty solid advice. I'll let you know what happens to see if you get to keep your paycheck or not haha.
Author nes9 Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 You don't need to put thoughts in her head. If she misses you and wants to get back together if the other relationship fails, she'll start talking to you again. It's all a waiting game, but it's up to you how you choose to wait. You can chase and pine after her and drag out your misery, or you can post on here and 'talk things out' and explore other women around you. The men in my family have always told me "Don't ever date somebody who left someone else for you, they're probably going to leave you once they find the next best thing." Been down this road a lot in my love life. I've been left time after time for an ex or some cute girl they met at boys' night out. It never works out for them. If she left you for her LDR ex, my money says she's going to leave him for someone else, too. And the new guy might be closer to home, and he might not be you. So try not to dwell on it and just remember when you get sad that when she leaves him, he's going to be in the position you're in now, while you're already patched up and back on your feet. Don't contact her. Instead of putting thoughts in her head, she'll take it as you trying to break them up, and that won't ever make anything better. This is exactly why I chose to come post on here instead of caving and contacting her. It worked and kept me from sending her a text. Hopefully every day itll get easier and easier and I won't have to keep coming to the forums for NC support. But for now, thanks!
Author nes9 Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 And again I like to promote this thread!! It helps you as it had helped me ^^ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/281193-all-new-no-contact-thread Funny you posted that.... its a really old thread right? Cuz I'm 99% sure I remember reading that when I first joined this site after experiencing my first major heartbreak like 4 years ago. It was a good refresher reading that again. Though I still struggle at times like today, it reminds me how far I've come at dealing with breakups over the past 4 years.
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