antineutrino Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 I was talking to a girl and we made the following plans: 1) she suggested we hang out tomorrow -- only tentative, finalize the plans today 2) she said one of her friends wanted to meet me and suggested some dinner on Thursday -- I tentatively agreed, but I'm sure I could always find a way to back out (no interest in hanging out if it's not a date situation) Just based on this, I feel like it's hard to tell / leaning towards not a date. Is there anything I can do to convey to her that the thing tomorrow is a date? When we finalize plans, what should I be saying? Should I refer to it as a date? If not, are there things during the 'hang out' that I should be doing to convey that it's more?
TheZebra Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 I think that the mere fact that you are going to spend time alone together suggests that it's a date. Not necessarily. If the person isn't attracted to you then it won't be painfully obvious.
Author antineutrino Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 Why don't you just ask her? i.e., straight up ask her: "is this a date?" Or when finalizing the plan, keep dropping the word "date"?
Mrlonelyone Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 I'm sad to say there is no real way to force that issue. If they are into you that way, and have a good time, and want to go on another date, then this date is a date. If they are not into you that way and/or don't have a good time and/or don't want to go on another date and/or years latter decide they really weren't that into you... it can retroactively become not a date. Just go, have fun, act as if it were a date. Let her be vague about what things are to her hearts content. If she decides it wasn't a date at some point who cares.
clia Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 i.e., straight up ask her: "is this a date?" Sure, why not? Or when finalizing the plan, keep dropping the word "date"? This would also work. There is no reason why you should remain in the dark about what her intentions are, and use of the word "hang out" has led to a lot of people wondering what the heck is going on. "Hang out" is so vague and unclear. You should do it in a lighthearted manner, though.
Els Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Absolutely do refer to it as a date. Other than that, IMO asking her straight up can be slightly off-putting, especially if she herself was unsure or shy. I'd say just go and see what happens, flirt with her and gauge her response. At the very worst, you'll have a fun 'hangout' and some practice. 1
Author antineutrino Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 There is no reason why you should remain in the dark about what her intentions are, and use of the word "hang out" has led to a lot of people wondering what the heck is going on. "Hang out" is so vague and unclear. You should do it in a lighthearted manner, though. Any suggestions on how to do it lightheartedly? I'm still a noob in the dating world lol Absolutely do refer to it as a date. Other than that, IMO asking her straight up can be slightly off-putting, especially if she herself was unsure or shy. I'd say just go and see what happens, flirt with her and gauge her response. At the very worst, you'll have a fun 'hangout' and some practice. Great points - thanks! 1
Mrlonelyone Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 When you refer to it as a date don't do it again and again. When you call to confirm just be casual about it like so what time is our date? Like Elswyth said, asking straight out about this can be off putting. Furthermore she may not know what she wants at this point either. Your just getting to know eachother. Like I said that it counts as a date really depends on how she feels afterwards. 1
Kylar Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 I've found the best way to tell a girl its a date, is to tell her. It works 100% of the time, she knows exactly where you are coming from and you come off confident and sure of what you want. Take the lead.
Mrlonelyone Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 I've found the best way to tell a girl its a date, is to tell her. It works 100% of the time, she knows exactly where you are coming from and you come off confident and sure of what you want. Take the lead. There's an equal or better chance it comes off as insecure. Furthermore he can tell her he thinks it's a date to his hearts content. The question is what will she think it is? 1
sillyanswer Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 When we finalize plans, what should I be saying? "I'm looking forward to our date." 1
Kylar Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 There's an equal or better chance it comes off as insecure. Furthermore he can tell her he thinks it's a date to his hearts content. The question is what will she think it is? There is noting insecure about being direct. While he doesn't need to straight up say, this is a date, asking a girl to dinner is a clear message. Then on the day of I confirm, are we still on for our date tonight? I've never had a girl back out or be freaked out by this, if I did I'd simply stop persuing her.
Author antineutrino Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 Eh, so I brought it up casually like you guys said and her reaction was basically: hahaha date?! she then proceeded to mention what she had in mind, viz., checking out a new cafe [to . . . work] (lol ok...) and then asked me what I had in mind. Talk about bust.
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