evondavis1 Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Why do I still hold on to hope? As bad as my situation and breakup is….is it because we were together for 7 years, and have a son together? Is it because I still have to maintain LC with him for our dissolving business and son? What am I holding onto? Is it that easy for him to walk away, after 7 years, a life, child, home, dogs? Is it that easy for him to meet someone after a week from our separation, and then he married/eloped with her to Vegas 6 weeks later, and now she is pregnant? I know he is an *********, but why can’t I let go? Is it because I am human and just going through the motions? Ex and I had a very long talk a few weeks ago, and he basically said the following things: When he met his now wife (1 week after he moved out) he was very lonely. Then we he ran off and eloped, he felt guilt towards what he was doing to me. Now that he found out she is pregnant, he said he is miserable and a mess, because he didn’t want to have more children. After our breakup, he was still calling me, coming around the house, talking and crying about our relationship. Sometimes he would be angry at me, blame me, or get very emotional. I just don’t understand how someone can get married? Doesn’t everyone need time to heal after a very long relationship? We were together almost 24/7, and had fights, I did kick him out a few times (I know, very dysfunctional of me to take him back each time). I guess I have to come to the realization that it just wasn’t meant to be, that he did not want to be with me, and didn’t want to commit to me. I can’t help but compare myself to the other woman. His wife is only 24, ex is 37. I can’t help but wonder if they truly have some magical wonderful connection? Or is a rebound? Sorry for the vent, my mind is all over the place and can’t stop thinking about it 24/7. We broke up 4 months ago.
user6667 Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Ofcourse it's a rebound, and also a midlife thing. To be honest, its fairly sad for all three concerned. (ex, wife, unborn baby) Your question, what you are holding on to, is very familiar to me. It is hope, as you say. I can't tell you to stop hoping, but hope in vain is a terrible thing because it hurts and you can't start healing untill you give up hope. For me this was a very important step. Acceptance. Don't compare yourself to her. No reason to. If she wasnt there, he'd find somebody else to be with, since apparently he needs to. She is insignificant. Also you are the mother of his 7yo son. He should be adoring you. Best of luck
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