winslow Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Hi Weve been dating for about two months. Up until about the last week or so, we couldn't keep our hands off of each other. This means cuddling, kissing, holding hands, and sex also several times a day. But lately im having a hard time even getting a kiss out of her. Theres still the routine peck everday but for anything else i have to ask and it doesnt last long. She insists it has nothing to do with how she feels about me and that she just isn't normally very affectionate and never has been. She also claims that she doesn't want to lose the specialness in those things and that she needs me to be her friend as well as boyfriend, and the more I bring it up the more i push her away. I havent brought it up for a few days but its eating away at me inside. What should i do.
sillyanswer Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 What should i do. You've already talked about it and got her view on this, so tell her you want a relationship that includes more sexytime, which doesn't seem to be the same as what she wants, and dump her for pulling a bait-and-switch, and don't feel bad about it. (she shouldn't feel bad about it either, fwiw. it's only been a couple of months.) 1
Balzac Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Sexual incompatability. Attempts to pressure her to be disingenuous about her true sexual nature and desires will be an epic fail. This relationship as portrayed to you is over. How you choose to gracefully end it on you. Delivering ultimatums or begging for change is futile. Sorry buddy, it's a fish going back into the lake. 1
Feelin Frisky Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 First, welcome to LS. My "all-in" advice is to get right with the truth that romance is all about "want". Your g/f seems to have fulfilled her want. You now have to deal with feelings and rationale to test her want. That may mean acting with indifference toward her. This is the game. You can't really talk about the game with women. It's something you have to get right with yourself because sometimes you have to accept loss. And it feels crushing. Absolutely crushing. I hope there is hope for this relationship for you because it's clear your want is vibrant. Good luck.
Alia_alia Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 She's just subconsciously trying to gain power in the relationship. (i.e - she found something that you want, so she has the power to give it to you whenever she wants). What I suggest you do (this is what my current guy does and it works), is just stop seeking physical contact from her and go on. In a bit or a while she will be the one reaching out. At that point you can tease her about it or just keep withholding physical contact for a bit to punish her behavior. Believe me when a girl is horny and the guy is not "feeling like it", it makes the girl think she's done something wrong.
Andy_K Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Give her a couple weeks without the pressure, in case it's a stress-induced blip/phase, or something like that. Then, when you find out it's normal for her, it's time for you to leave. She insists it has nothing to do with how she feels about me and that she just isn't normally very affectionate and never has been People always show you who they really are. Believe them the first time.
veggirl Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 you two are either straight up not compatible in that way, or she has checked out of the relationship. at only two months, this one is easy...move on. 2
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