Jammo22 Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 She broke up with me just over three months ago.told me she had completely fallen out of love with me and has no feelings left for me other than a really good friend.we were together 3 years and were planning on marriage.we stayed in touch through text after the breakup and met up for the occasional talk to discuss why she thinks she fell out of love and what the problems were that our relationship had.after finding out I went away and we had our space.i took everything she said into consideration and took the time for myself to better myself and my attitude and to even get up and start fixing problems in my life.i made myself a better person.we then talked again and she told me she thinks back at all our memories and it makes her sad.she said she misses me alot and thinks I'm a great guy.she says she wishes she had feelings for me and wishes it could go back to the way it was but she just doesn't feel anything for me like that anymore.however..she says she wants to hang out as friends,have fun,start over with dating and ease into being romantically involved again to see if a spark can return and see if we can get our bond back and if she can fall in love again.im still deeply in love with her.wev hung out a few times and we have got along well.wev cuddles and held hands..although she says she has to force herself to do that at this stage..it doesn't come naturally for her to do that as she doesn't feel any sexual tension or erge with me.but she hopes it will come the more we bond,along with falling in love...can it happen?? Is it possible for us to re establish the connection and get her feelings back? How quickly can it happen? We only have a month before we both leave for separate cities after the summer,then we would have to do long distance..is it possible for her to regain her feelings and love in a month????
RespectfullyAlone Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 I am by no means capable of giving you sane advice as my live at present is teetering on complete chaos due to my ex leaving me. It must be nice to at least be in contact with her again, but what I struggle to grasp is how she seems to have no feelings at all, even saying she is forcing herself to hold your hand. If she is saying she wants to make a fresh start, date and fall in love all over again, let's forget your past for a moment and go hmmmm, well even then if she was interested in you, she wouldn't have to be forcing herself to hold your hand. Makes me wonder then if she is simply keeping you warm, but at arms length. If you are into someone, you think of all ways and reasons to spend as much with them as possible. If you are not into them, the opposite occurs. Since you're both going to be long distance in a month, that makes it even more difficult for you. If you are prepared for the worst, in that she doesn't get those old feelings back, and you feel you can handle it, then go for it.
almosteverythingx Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 I think it's important to not put a time on it. I know it's hard because of you going to different cities in a month. but the pressure of you both been ready romantically in a month could ruin any chances. I think you're best playing it by ear, try to not be too avail aavailable in this process because that too could ruin chances and ruin the chance of getting a spark back. You need to keep her on her toes without completely pushing her away. Good luck! Be sure to update us on it!!!
Tmo2 Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Dang I agree with previous posters... This is a tough situation to give advice to. Of course, you should follow your own judgment... Do what feels right for you. But be conscious about the reality. Prepare for the worst... Like almosteverythingx said: ''It is important not to put a timer on it''. Love is uncontrollable... From what I read, you seem to want it to work. You probably love her allot also. Try to relax, slow down your thoughts and relax. Start thinking about your position on this earth, as a man, as a human, as a soul. Where are you at in your life? Do you have any goals or dreams? Try to forget about your situation with her for a while and focus on your thoughts. - How can you improve yourself to become the man you always dreamed of ? ... Maybe start thinking how you would live and act if you were all alone, no family, friends, no girlfriend... Take some time off and relax. Relax... and relax. This 1 month will pass fuc.king fast. It is thus important that you calm yourself and start thinking seriously about your life. If you honestly do this, you will gain important realizations that will help you act in your best interest.
Lone Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I also wouldnt pay too much attention to what shes actually saying but more on how she acts. People say thing they dont mean wholeheartedly ALL THE TIME. even if they do mean it, it can change in an instant. Does she know u r deeply in love with her? What would happen if you started to retract a bit? Do you think she would chase you? Like the people above said. TIME TIME TIME. Dont rush it. Nothing u can do to change how she feels. that is up to her...
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