Malia25 Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 I'm going to keep this short. A guy and I met a few months ago through a project that both of our workplaces collaborate on. We are not coworkers though. I sensed that he was interested in me, as he would always make small talk and stare at me. However, one day I saw a girl drop him off - so I put the notion that he was interested behind me. A few weeks pass and we see each other again. This time, he asks for my number and I oblige, but I also made sure to ask who the girl was. He said it was his roomate. I personally don't believe him. He's also 36 (10 yrs older than me) - so a man at that age w/ two roomates is not exactly a turn on. My city is small. A one bedroom apt is not pricy, but this is so beside the point! He's also a Marine. I only mention this because I have been warned by everyone (friends, fam, coworkers) that Marines have a reputation of being players. A friend is a former Marine and he also said this. I try not to listen to others perceptions though and prefer to find things out myself! Anyways, since exchanging numbers, he's been texting me and being quite forward in the sense that he keeps saying he wants to be my boyfriends, wants to see me, etc. I was getting a bit creeped out, so I stopped texting him. This past Friday, he texted me after 2 weeks of silence. He asked when he would get to see me. I told him I barely know him, but that he could take me out to dinner. This was on a Friday night. I let him know the following Monday would work for me. I even gave him a time! I didn't hear back from him all weekend. So I texted him Sunday to follow up and let him know I was going to make other plans if he couldnt make it that Monday. Instead of confirming the time, he accuses me of having a boyfriend! o_O I was honestly pissed at this point and let him know I would never have dinner with him if I was in a relationship already with someone else. He says he texted me to confirm on Saturday, but I never received it - and so there goes his assumption that I'm taken. I asked him what he texted me and he couldn't give me an answer. Wierd. His texts come off very needy and insecure and borderline pyscho-possessive. I considered getting to know him and dating, but I think I should steer clear of him. What do you make of his behavior and accusations? Do you believe that he could possibly be in a relationship himself and is just stringing ME along? So much for keeping this "short"!!
nds522 Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 If you feel this turned off by him already, why exactly do you want to get to know him? What good points do you see in the guy? I really think if you already dislike how he communicates with you....that it won't get better. I'd just trust your instincts on this one and run away!
Maneater Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Any man living with 2 roommates at 36 has issues! Unless he was dying of cancer and had no family to take care of him so his roommates had to, lose this guy!
D-Lish Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 (edited) You said you had reservations from the start- yet you continued to seek him out, even when he hadn't confirmed the Monday date. A guy that is genuinely interested in you will show genuine interest. If you have to seek interest, it- it's not genuine. Edited January 8, 2013 by D-Lish
Author Malia25 Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 You said you had reservations from the start- yet you continued to seek him out, even when he hadn't confirmed the Monday date. A guy that is genuinely interested in you will show genuine interest. If you have to seek interest, it- it's not genuine. Ok, I confess I sought him out as a way to show him that I wasn't going to wait around all Monday for his confirmation. I wanted him to know that if he doesn't take the freakin initiative to confirm, then yes, I was going to forget dinner altogether. I guess it was my moment of "power" lol. I guess that failed... Thank you for your advice.
CC12 Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Anyways, since exchanging numbers, he's been texting me and being quite forward in the sense that he keeps saying he wants to be my boyfriends, wants to see me, etc. Wait, what? You mean he's been asking to be your boyfriend? You haven't even gone on a date yet. And then he accused you of already having a boyfriend when you didn't respond to a text? That is scary and he sounds nuts. Why were you even considering seeing him after he had already been so inappropriate and creeped you out? I hope this isn't out of line, and I might be wrong, but I'm getting the sense that you arranged a date with him just because you didn't want to hurt his feelings, or you were nervous about rejecting him. It is okay if you don't want to see someone who behaves strangely, like he did. You don't owe him anything. Listen to your instincts about people. If someone you're barely getting to know creeps you out, don't continue that friendship. They're only going to get weirder. And your laid-back nature makes it easy for people like that to sink their claws in. So I think steering clear of him would be the absolute right decision. 1
Author Malia25 Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 If you feel this turned off by him already, why exactly do you want to get to know him? What good points do you see in the guy? I really think if you already dislike how he communicates with you....that it won't get better. I'd just trust your instincts on this one and run away! I guess I try to see the good. I know, I know...it's all bad and I know it. I'm even pretty positive that it will absolutely not work out in the end for a whole lotta reasons. I feel like I lose out a lot because I don't take chances, and I wanted to give this guy one. But yes - you're right. I should run so...so FAR!! =/ I'm kind of worried that he will tell his fellow Marines lies about me and they will all look at me differently (and in a less professional manner). I think I lose either way.
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