Author youngnlove89 Posted April 7, 2013 Author Posted April 7, 2013 Thanks guys I was at a rough time when I wrote that and here I am again. I always write best when I'm heartbroken, I think that is the only good thing that comes from a broken heart.
all_cats_rgray Posted April 7, 2013 Posted April 7, 2013 I like the part where we think we are different. That are love was true and strong, and that they will come back. That some how... the way we felt for each other is different to all those other couples that broke up. It's the same story over and over again.
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 8, 2013 Author Posted April 8, 2013 I like the part where we think we are different. That are love was true and strong, and that they will come back. That some how... the way we felt for each other is different to all those other couples that broke up. It's the same story over and over again. Yes. That is the hardest thing to grasp. People on LS have been where I've been and where you've been. It's hard to understand because the feeling we feel is so lonely. 1
travelonic Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 I like the part where we think we are different. That are love was true and strong, and that they will come back. That some how... the way we felt for each other is different to all those other couples that broke up. It's the same story over and over again. The stories may follow the same patterns, but that doesn't mean there aren't unique nuances behind every story, or a lot of the stories. 1
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 8, 2013 Author Posted April 8, 2013 As anyone else hurting tonight? I have an urge to contact him...STOP ME!!
Echo000 Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 youngnalone what happened with you? what is your story (summarize briefly if you can!) my pc is making it hard to see your full story. PS I write my best when i am most down..guess its that darkness that inspires artwork, in a weird way. Your original post, that started this thread, was indeed beautiful. Wise soul you seem to be.
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 8, 2013 Author Posted April 8, 2013 youngnalone what happened with you? what is your story (summarize briefly if you can!) my pc is making it hard to see your full story. PS I write my best when i am most down..guess its that darkness that inspires artwork, in a weird way. Your original post, that started this thread, was indeed beautiful. Wise soul you seem to be. We had an off and on relationship for two years. Basically he hasn't been the best recently to me. I played a harmless April Fool's prank on him and said I was pregnant. (the joke lasted 5 minutes) Once he knew I was kidding he said we are not having sex anymore and we are just going to be friends. He told me he was going to sleep with someone else in the future, it was inevitable he said. And that he could never sleep with me again because the thought of me getting pregnant would make him lose an erection. So after he said those mean things to me and me being sick of the relationship being off and on and him having commitment issues (doesn't love me that way and doesn't ever want to get married/have kids), I have been ignoring him. It's been 4 days and he is trying to make me feel bad saying that I used him for sex and that I don't say I love you anymore and he was just good for sex and now he says he will respect my wishes and won't contact me anymore. I'm so confused.
cavalier99 Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 (edited) Things are just really fresh right now. You are in the midst of the storm. It will be better with a few week of pure NC. I guess knowing this and feeling it is different. You just need to slug it out. Let me ask you this. Do you see a future with him? Is what he said and how he acts acceptable to you. Do you feel you deserve to get over this and eventually fing new love that is returned? Do you want indifference? Ask your self the tough questions and let these harden your resolve to end this now stay NC and let yourself heal. Otherwise the endless cycle will continue. Cav Edited April 8, 2013 by cavalier99 2
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 8, 2013 Author Posted April 8, 2013 Things are just really fresh right now. You are in the midst of the storm. It will be better with a few week of pure NC. I guess knowing this and feeling it is different. You just need to slug it out. Let me ask you this. Do you see a future with him? Is what he said and how he acts acceptable to you. Do you feel you deserve to get over this and eventually fing new love that is returned? Do you want indifference? Ask your self the tough questions and let these harden your resolve to end this now stay NC and let yourself heal. Otherwise the endless cycle will continue. Cav Funny you ask that, a really good guy friend of mine asked me that when I was having a weak moment last night: Do you see a future with him? I know in my heart the answer is no, but I would love if we did have a future. That is what makes it so hard is knowing I can't have what I want, so in the end who really does hold the power? Not me. What he said and how he acts is NOT acceptable, so why am I letting him continue to do it? Insecurity? Comfort? Yes, I wish I could find someone else but I'm not even in that state to start looking. He was all I've known for 2 years, now I have to replace him and I can't imagine doing that. In the end, indifference is indeed a goal. I'll get there if I follow the right path. But the real question is, will I do what is right?
cavalier99 Posted April 8, 2013 Posted April 8, 2013 Funny you ask that, a really good guy friend of mine asked me that when I was having a weak moment last night: Do you see a future with him? I know in my heart the answer is no, but I would love if we did have a future. That is what makes it so hard is knowing I can't have what I want, so in the end who really does hold the power? Not me. What he said and how he acts is NOT acceptable, so why am I letting him continue to do it? Insecurity? Comfort? Yes, I wish I could find someone else but I'm not even in that state to start looking. He was all I've known for 2 years, now I have to replace him and I can't imagine doing that. In the end, indifference is indeed a goal. I'll get there if I follow the right path. But the real question is, will I do what is right? Often times what is right is what is hardest. It is called courage. Dig deep. Good luck. Im rooting for you. Cav
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 ...I'll take that mental snap shot in my mind, the one that I will always use when I remember you. Those black converse shoes, those worn jeans you always wore with holes in them, and that half cocked smile with a slightly arrogant glance...
BigTuna Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 That was incredible, really loved it. I've just started to date someone new to help fill the void, I really want to like them but that's exactly what I'm doing, filling the void. I'm kidding myself. I obviously have a lot more hurting I need to do
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 That was incredible, really loved it. I've just started to date someone new to help fill the void, I really want to like them but that's exactly what I'm doing, filling the void. I'm kidding myself. I obviously have a lot more hurting I need to do You do. You need this time alone, even though it hurts. We need to heal again before we can start a successful relationship. Time is your friend. 2
BustedUpInside Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 This is so hard to read right now, but I really needed to see those words and then to see all the replies agreeing with the truth of your words. Thank you for putting all our thoughts into an intelligible article that helps link us all in the sameness of the human emotions after a relationship ends.
Author youngnlove89 Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 This is so hard to read right now, but I really needed to see those words and then to see all the replies agreeing with the truth of your words. Thank you for putting all our thoughts into an intelligible article that helps link us all in the sameness of the human emotions after a relationship ends. You are more than welcome. I didn't know people would ever even really read what I had to say. I'm flattered. It's hard, break ups are brutal. But it's nice to know you aren't alone. And I take comfort in that. Thing to remember is if we're all alone, then we're all together in that too. 1
Author youngnlove89 Posted May 8, 2013 Author Posted May 8, 2013 I'm at that part where I feel completely...indifferent. I thought it was just for a moment...but all day yesterday I felt indifferent, I woke up today feeling indifferent too. Is this just a phase? If you think about it, I've been going through this breakup for a year and a half. Maybe I've finally reached my point. By indifferent, I mean I don't care anymore. I don't care if he sleeps with someone, if he ever talks to me again and if he were to pop back in my life right now, I'd just ignore. I have no hard feelings, I don't dislike him, I wish him well and I'm more than okay. Was it just a matter of time?
KatZee Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 "I'm one to talk...I'm in denial in my own situation. Nobody can tell me what is wrong or right. He loves me even if everyone says he doesn't. I give every excuse, sugar coat every lie, float in clouds and wear rose colored glasses. Mirror mirror on the wall...who's the biggest fool of them all..." ---you posted that 2 days ago. You're not indifferent. No matter how much you want to be. You're all over the chart in regards to your feelings and emotions and its your body's way of trying to work through this problem. What always happens is that you over estimate your "indifference" wind up reaching out to your ex and the cycle starts again.
Tree_Salmon Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 I'm at that part where I feel completely...indifferent. I thought it was just for a moment...but all day yesterday I felt indifferent, I woke up today feeling indifferent too. Is this just a phase? If you think about it, I've been going through this breakup for a year and a half. Maybe I've finally reached my point. By indifferent, I mean I don't care anymore. I don't care if he sleeps with someone, if he ever talks to me again and if he were to pop back in my life right now, I'd just ignore. I have no hard feelings, I don't dislike him, I wish him well and I'm more than okay. Was it just a matter of time? it's still too early. this could be a momentary high. I know you're still not indifferent because you're still here talking about him. Think about it. We all do this, its a false positive, you feel a moment of clarity and you need to keep it going. When's the last time I spoke about my ex? Think about it.
Author youngnlove89 Posted May 8, 2013 Author Posted May 8, 2013 it's still too early. this could be a momentary high. I know you're still not indifferent because you're still here talking about him. Think about it. We all do this, its a false positive, you feel a moment of clarity and you need to keep it going. When's the last time I spoke about my ex? Think about it. I'm posting because I'm curious is all. I have no idea, you don't talk to me anymore!
GI_Joy Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 I'm posting because I'm curious is all. I have no idea, you don't talk to me anymore! False positive or not, just be thankful for these moments. And remember the clarity you get from them. So even if you do slip back, you'll remember that the feelings of indifference serve you much better than the pain of thinking about him. 1
Author youngnlove89 Posted May 8, 2013 Author Posted May 8, 2013 False positive or not, just be thankful for these moments. And remember the clarity you get from them. So even if you do slip back, you'll remember that the feelings of indifference serve you much better than the pain of thinking about him. I'm holding on tight!
KatZee Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 I honestly don't think this helps at all. You NEED to face the pain in order to move on. Falsely masking it is like putting a bandaid on a severed limb. It serves quite literally no purpose whatsoever. Hiding pain only allows it to pop up at unexpected times or in unexpected places. YnL didn't you say you started crying at the bar out of no where? This is what's going to happen if you run from it. 1
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