crashvector Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 no, I'm not gonna drunk dial or text her. I didnt hear from her yesterday at all...tonight, she texted me letting me know her son was home from the hospital and stable, and thanked me for all the prayers. I told her she was welcome, etc etc. But here's the deal: That will probably be the last time I ever communicate with her, and I know it...and I'm surprised at how hollow I feel about it.
Trimmer Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Hollow like you're hurting and you didn't expect it to hurt so badly, or hollow like you don't really care that much (numb, maybe?) and you're surprised at that?
Author crashvector Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 Hollow like you're hurting and you didn't expect it to hurt so badly, or hollow like you don't really care that much (numb, maybe?) and you're surprised at that? The former. The realization that I will probably never hear from her again...
MyAngel Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Nice to see a pic of you crash! You look like a great guy Hollow is a good way of putting it. Break ups sure do mess with our emotions huh... I think that accepting you won't hear from her again is a good step. I am almost there myself. It makes things easier and harder at the same time for me, but it's what we need to do to move forward.
Author crashvector Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 Nice to see a pic of you crash! You look like a great guy Hollow is a good way of putting it. Break ups sure do mess with our emotions huh... I think that accepting you won't hear from her again is a good step. I am almost there myself. It makes things easier and harder at the same time for me, but it's what we need to do to move forward. yep..that's me on duty at the triage desk I just hate feeling like this.
Mr.White Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 This is a good step you have made crash, it is a hard step to make but nonetheless a step you are accepting and shows that you are moving on. You are making progress!
Author crashvector Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 This is a good step you have made crash, it is a hard step to make but nonetheless a step you are accepting and shows that you are moving on. You are making progress! Sure as hell doesnt FEEL like it...
Mr.White Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Time heals all wounds. You are acknowledging that this could possibly be the last time you talk to her. Her kids (especially the son) look at you as their father figure. I hope you can still stay their father figure because I have too many friends without that figure in their lives and it can really mess with a person. Try possibly not contacting her for your belongings anymore(since I am sure you have gotten everything you needed already like your bike), only remaining in contact for your child and for her children. Possibly you two can become friends later on but don't dwell on anything more then a platonic friendship.
Author crashvector Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 I havent heard from any of the kids either. Makes me SO sad...I lost six people I absolutely adored all at once...and I'll never hear from any of them ever again
MyAngel Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 It is crazy when you think of how much everyone was part of your life and now, gone. As much as I can read about "people's hearts changing/someone has a right to decide not to be with you" etc, I don't think I will EVER understand how we can mean so much to them one week, and the next they leave. Was it all a lie? It hurts.
Author crashvector Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 It is crazy when you think of how much everyone was part of your life and now, gone. As much as I can read about "people's hearts changing/someone has a right to decide not to be with you" etc, I don't think I will EVER understand how we can mean so much to them one week, and the next they leave. Was it all a lie? It hurts. that's what I dont understand either. ALL of her kids absolutely loved me...and thought of me as the father they always wanted (THEIR words...NOT mine). I treated her well, I ADORED her and made it a conscious point to make sure she felt loved each and every day. she's hugging all over me, tellking me she loves me, she's excited to be my wife one day, etc. 48 hours later, she's gone. WTF?! Now, I'm supposed to act all calm and crap....like it doesnt matter and that I'm just doing SO well and moving on with no problem. when I see her soon, I'm supposed to act happy to see her, like nothing ever happened and we've always just been good buddies or something. Not like I haven't seen her completely naked a few thousand times or that I was ready to spend the rest of my life with her as her devoted, faithful husband until the day one of us DIED. yeah...its just f*cked up how almost as soon as a relationship ends, you are supposed to act like everything is just peachy and nothing was ever wrong, and that hey..its NOOOO problem. It's insanity. I'm a f*cking PERSON. With a HEART. I don't just go from being absolutely madly in love with someone, to having them break my heart, so being absolutely okay in a couple of days. I'm not a sociopath.
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