nds522 Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 ...and fell off already. Ugh, just wrote a book and I'm sure it would bore you all to tears....so let me just summarize it this way....if you had what seemed kinda casual at first, but the guy started to seemed more into you after 4 dates (acting like he wanted to see you the next weekend, planning to spend more time with you, etc) but then just disappeared and came back saying he was busy(talking again, but not asking me out either-he is traveling a few weeks for work but was home the week before...but it was just christmas and new years too!)....would it be weird/needy to ask what happened? If he is really just busy and just wants things to be casual right now I don't want to scare him off, since I am kinda busy/not ready for a relationship now....but if he was getting more into me and I scared him off...I'd like to know what I did wrong so I don't do that again. He still talks to me occasionally on facebook, but hasn't asked me out again and apologized for being so busy (he was sick, away for the holidays one weekend, and now traveling a few weeks for work....we have mutual friends so I don't think he is making this stuff up) When he had mentioned spending more time together and talking about spending time the next weekend...I had joked about him being needy kinda...but I was just joking! I thought he knew since I felt like I was chasing him! I have never really asked a guy out on a third date (he had asked for the first two...oh and after he gave me his number I contacted him first...I didn't think it was anything serious anyways) Ugh, this is still really long. Please be nice...just got out of a really long relationship and have no idea what i'm doing anymore. I probably shouldn't have gotten involved at all because I liked him so much and it seemed kinda soon...but I have run away from good opportunities before because the timing just never seemed right and I was sick of running away....I guess it's just never the right timing for me! :/
zebracolors Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Maybe he just took the joke the wrong way. In light of that, if you get a chance to talk to him again I wouldn't ask directly about what he's been up to, maybe let him tell you if he wants. You don't want to seem demanding or that you're checking up on him. But I have to say he seems to be trying to distance from you, if you've not heard from him except just sometimes on FB. How important is he to keep in touch with? I ask because as you say, you don't feel fully ready for a relationship now, so maybe back off a little and get your life in order before a relationship and if initiates contact then go from there. I'm kind of in your situation, and without going too much into detail, it wasn't so much as scaring a man off, as burning a bridge I started too late to realize might have been a good one to have. And timing does seem to be bad in my life as well:(
Author nds522 Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 (edited) Thanks! And I actually just sent him a happy new years text, but didn't bother him. I think he could tell from a few fb posts I wasn't happy, but it wasn't really directed at him. He volunteered the being busy and explaining and when I was like, oh I guess you are just busy and not ignoring me? He said that he was just busy-but again, didn't volunteer any time to meet up or that he wanted to. Everybody has been saying to not ask him. It just sucks not knowing, especially since I do really like him. Maybe in the future, sigh. But I don't think I'd want him again if he walked away from me Any other guy? Not important. Him? I just REALLY like him. Never felt like this about anybody. Maybe that's the problem....shouldn't be so into a guy so soon but I can't do much about that. Sorry about your bad timing luck too! Sucks so much when it's bad timing! Edited January 8, 2013 by nds522
todreaminblue Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 Thanks! And I actually just sent him a happy new years text, but didn't bother him. I think he could tell from a few fb posts I wasn't happy, but it wasn't really directed at him. He volunteered the being busy and explaining and when I was like, oh I guess you are just busy and not ignoring me? He said that he was just busy-but again, didn't volunteer any time to meet up or that he wanted to. Everybody has been saying to not ask him. It just sucks not knowing, especially since I do really like him. Maybe in the future, sigh. But I don't think I'd want him again if he walked away from me Any other guy? Not important. Him? I just REALLY like him. Never felt like this about anybody. Maybe that's the problem....shouldn't be so into a guy so soon but I can't do much about that. Sorry about your bad timing luck too! Sucks so much when it's bad timing! ask him because you want to go out with him...if you really do, take the risk and dont listen to what others say for you to do....do what you want to do, do what you feel you need to do and you wont regret it because none of us on here know what he is thinking you dont even know and you know the guy ...so ask him....there isnt ever a right time because things happen even miniscule things put you on the back foot.....but when it is right is when you would like to see him again....if he doesnt feel the same way you need to know and only he knows how to put your mind at ease.....best wishes....deb
Author nds522 Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 ask him because you want to go out with him...if you really do, take the risk and dont listen to what others say for you to do....do what you want to do, do what you feel you need to do and you wont regret it because none of us on here know what he is thinking you dont even know and you know the guy ...so ask him....there isnt ever a right time because things happen even miniscule things put you on the back foot.....but when it is right is when you would like to see him again....if he doesnt feel the same way you need to know and only he knows how to put your mind at ease.....best wishes....deb I think you are right, it will just bother me forever if I don't. Just having a feeling it will not be what I want to hear...but better than just sitting around imagining things I guess!
Recommended Posts