Sugarkane Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 I try and Go with the old line "fake it until you make it". I think you have an advantage being at college with lots of people.
Author LostOne1 Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 I try and Go with the old line "fake it until you make it". I think you have an advantage being at college with lots of people. Yeah try to fake it till I make it. The problem with school is that most of my classes are later in the evening. So most people are the type that work or are busy. Where as I think it's easier to make friends when you have a daytime class and students are on campus. Or having a program where a bunch of students always have the same classes together. Otherwise I find it's harder to meet new people or make new friends. That is unless you randomly go up to people to talk LOL. I think that might be a bit weird? So making friends for me honestly is going to be tough. Met a few people in class, but not a lot of them hang out at the campus. It would be nice to meet people somehow that do hang out on campus.
Author LostOne1 Posted January 13, 2013 Author Posted January 13, 2013 (edited) So today sucks. Just late at night was going to work on some stuff for school. I went on FB and shouldn't have gone on my ex's page. She normally NEVER posts anything no pictures etc.. Today for the first time ever.. she posted a picture on some family holiday. I noticed the guy she said she left me for was liking all her pictures like crazy LOL. Guess its fully official then that she did cheat? Why else is the posting comments and liking all her pics and her liking his pics. Pisses me off that she never told me she was cheating. Then tells me and then takes it back saying it was out of anger. Just bugs me and she posted this at 4AM... Since when does she stay up till 4am? Guess she did replace me and was spending all that time talking to the new guy. Man never felt so pissed off and hurt. Hate that she is this way and wants to get even. I bet she did it, because I didn't beg her the day we ran into each other. Just to hope I look at her FB and feel bad. I never disliked her so much as I do now. And I hate that her family supports her. They know she hurt me and cheated and yet they STILL support her. I get it's family, but if someone you know did something wrong. Least you can do is teach them something and from this she is just putting it in my face. She HATED posting pics of herself and the whole social thing. So why post pics now suddenly out of nowhere? I know I shouldn't be getting mad... I'm supposed to not give a **** anyways. I'm supposed to be moving on and remembering that she left me and it's over. I guess this is why you do not look at the ex's FB. I feel more mad then hurt though... More like I don't get it all and it's just annoying. I guess for a second it hurt to see her picture. I don't know if this is her way of getting at me for us crashing in to each other. Guess either she is playing a good game to throw me off and show that shes happier without me just like I was showing I am happier without her. Guess I'm posting because I am a bit mad over it. I shouldn't care and all, but it's disappointing to say the least. Hate to say it too, but in the pic she looks good though.. with the clothes and hair done. When I ran into her at school she looked like a mess with no makeup at all lol... Guess she is trying to just prove she is moving on and is happy with her life. And I hate that I'm not SUPER happy with mines. I'm mad that I lost out so much last year and for her too. And in the end I gotta feel stuck like this... in a point where I feel like a loser or she wants me to feel like that.. I know she wants me to feel regret and suffer, because then her decision would seem so much better and appropriate for her to know she made. Edited January 13, 2013 by LostOne1
cavalier99 Posted January 13, 2013 Posted January 13, 2013 Sorry man. Don't feel so bad we all get weak sometimes. This wont set you back.(well maybe for a week or 2) Might even help you. Either way are you upset at her or at yourself for cracking..or both? F her..now you know that she was lying and this should steel your resolve to get over her. I don't think these posts are aimed at you and if they are it is petty BS that is beneath you. Unless you give into it Your not going to check anymore OK? Self inflicted wounds are best to avoid. They broke us once..and we have the tendency to keep on hurting ourselves over someone that doesn't even think of us much. Sorry man. Don't beat yourself up too much..and don't go into the pit of despair. There is a lot to be grateful for..like the fact you have some friends here like me 1
Author LostOne1 Posted January 13, 2013 Author Posted January 13, 2013 Sorry man. Don't feel so bad we all get weak sometimes. This wont set you back.(well maybe for a week or 2) Might even help you. Either way are you upset at her or at yourself for cracking..or both? F her..now you know that she was lying and this should steel your resolve to get over her. I don't think these posts are aimed at you and if they are it is petty BS that is beneath you. Unless you give into it Your not going to check anymore OK? Self inflicted wounds are best to avoid. They broke us once..and we have the tendency to keep on hurting ourselves over someone that doesn't even think of us much. Sorry man. Don't beat yourself up too much..and don't go into the pit of despair. There is a lot to be grateful for..like the fact you have some friends here like me Well I'm not set back.. it's a picture of her and her mom at some nice place. So it means they went travelling somewhere or some mall or some where nice. I guess what bugged me is how she posted it at 4am? Unless she is out of town or she was up talking to the other guy. I mean the guy is liking everything he liked her cover post, the image post and many other things. So it's possible he's just trying to get her to like him if they aren't going out. No idea.. though I don't care much. I guess I find it annoying to see she is acting all okay. And she does this just a few days after we crash into each other. And the WEIRD part is I keep my pictures friends only. But yday I posted a pic of a place I went to eat and she went there a few times with me before. I posted it publicly and I wonder if this is a response at me. She posted her image only about 5-6 hrs after I posted mines. I guess the honest truth is I felt maybe she was suffering too. But now it shows she doesn't care and what bugs me more is that her parents got mad at her after they found out about me and her and her leaving me. Now they act all nice to her and sure.. they are her parents what else can they do... but it sucks to know she can do something so low and she will still have support even for doing terrible things.
Author LostOne1 Posted January 13, 2013 Author Posted January 13, 2013 I should add that it bugged me or surprised me, because out of what... 4 yrs or more. She NEVER has posted a picture of her own publicly on FB. She hates taking pictures and doesn't believe in the sharing pics and comments of what you are doing etc.. Now suddenly she is posting a picture out of no where. I think that's what bugs me about it. That she is kinda putting it in my face or she really is moving on. I don't know, I guess its the new change. I never seen her act this way after our BU. it's like she is doing different things to justify her BU with me. Then again I know her well enough to know she would do this.. her last ex and BU she did crazy things too that were not like her. But she did it from the pain and that was what kinda had helped her as she said... All I know is her last ex they BU and it was mutual, but he found someone else later and my ex was left hurting more. Then it took her a VERY long time to heal even had a rebound but then left him. WHich is why I can't understand HOW she can't be hurting? She was with her last ex for a short while and it wasn't serious. This was her FIRST serious relationship and it makes no sense has to how she can heal so fast. She gets VERY attached to people and once she does it's hard for her to let it go. Which is why I never understood how she let me go. I think it was all fake and she made it seem like she let me go when in reality she never did... she just told herself that till things got worse and worse.
Author LostOne1 Posted January 13, 2013 Author Posted January 13, 2013 So woke up this morning... feeling odd. I guess in my mind her thoughts are back. I guess her FB picture reminded me of our vacation we took. How I won't ever get to take another vacation with her ever again. That it's officially over and I will have to find someone else. I guess in some ways I don't want to wait. I LOVED being with my ex and having her next to me. Knowing I had her support, knowing I had someone to call my own. Knowing I had someone who would fight along side with me till the end. And to know that person doesn't want to stand next to me... it hurts a lot. I always admired her a lot and sure not everytying was perfect between us, but it was always there and working. I just imagine her having the time of her life, yet hoping SOMEWHERE deep inside she is in pain too for giving me up. That she has some guilt or feels remorse about what she did, but she doesn't want to show it. I guess one thing that will never give me closure besides time is WHY she did what she did... was she just plain crazy and so full of anger that she just did it all and realized later she was being stupid.
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