10 commandments of dating for men

January 9, 2013

I love that I have the RIGHT to choose what I want to do. I DO NOT like that I get JUDGED because I chose the "wrong thing" I like that I can do what I want if I want to. If I wanted to I could become a construction worker. I appreciate the option. But I don't WANT to do a manly job. I don't want to be a manly woman. And every modern young woman who hails feminism pushes the idea onto me that I SHOULD want to do stuff like that.

That is categorically not true. Anyone who tries to make you feel that way is not a feminist. They are rude and worst of all, completely ignorant.

January 9, 2013

"I am man. You stay home. Where's my dinner, wench?"

Oh hell, if a boyfriend said that to me I'd start laughing. I don't know why, but that would really crack me up. I'd even wear my "pirate wench" shirt for that.

I like it when men can give a little crap as well as take it.

January 9, 2013

What I have noticed is that when you have women who truly are happy in their relationships and marriages some women who call themselves feminists tell them they are deluded or brainwashed by the patriarchy into thinking they are happy. It's like it's some sin not to hate and resent your husband. My wife was actually called a stepford wife by a coworker because she doesn't cheat. I realize that these sentiments are the exceptions but it is what people remember and what leaves a bad taste in their mouth.

January 9, 2013

hmmm okay so you need special laws because society views you as less even though you're equal... But we have special laws so maybe that's adding to the perceived incompetence?

Who's health care costs the company more... who's more likely to take time off, or have children... I know I know that's not fair! I'm just talking realities here.

Also if women are getting paid 10% less for equal work... that would be an incredible... incredible way to make a sht ton of money. Simply hire women at 10% less than men, women who are equally as capable as men who misogynisticly get paid more for NO reason and wow your company does great. It's like china you simply make all your stuff in China because its cheaper. You simply hire all women because they are cheaper....

I mean there are so many holes in your logic haha

The law applies for all. That means short men don't get paid less than tall men, black men don't get paid less than white men, etc. There's other studies with the same thing (same resume), but that analyze people's perception of others based strictly on race or looks. People do discriminate and there are laws that forbid it. I don't see anything wrong with that.

Also, under the law men technically are allowed to take a leave if the woman has a baby. Just because it traditionally tends to be the female that takes leave does not mean the man cannot take the leave to take care of the child. I remember learning about this in HR.

And no, I don't think companies can get away with both hiring only women either, mainly because I think Uncle Sam would have a problem with that. And since you'd only be paying below market wages (and your company would have that reputation), you probably wouldn't get the best crop of employees in general.

I don't understand how you can be so stubborn about blatant discrimination, since I just proved to you it exists...

January 9, 2013

How many times do you have to be told, women don't have special laws. Let me demonstrate.

Let's say I hire you and three other women in this thread and you are all at the same level. I pay the women $85k and I pay you $60k. Furthermore, let's say the gals and I decide to get life sized posters of our hot boyfriends in underwear and hang them in the break room. Everyday when you get your coffee, we insist you stand against the wall of our hot guys and we take note of your flaws.

NOW, even though you are a man-you can sue for discrimination based on pay AND hostile work environment.

Yes this is exactly why hostile work environment laws exist to stop all victim men from being sexually harassed. Oh and equal pay cries are about getting equal pay for men!

Let the market solve these problems. I'm not for equal pay for men or women. I'm not for quota's or affirmative action for men or women. If some one is being harassed let them quit that job. That simple, or call the police if it's at a criminal level. No special laws that you can pretend are about equality as if there is such a thing.

January 9, 2013

Oh my God.

You win. Your desire to troll is far stronger than my desire to educate.

January 9, 2013

I like to get spanked sometimes, and called a bad girl.

Guess I'm not a very good feminist.

January 9, 2013

10 pages of fun wow.

I didn't read anything about lesser. Just not "equal" which btw for a board so obsessed with semantics, the definition of equal is "THE SAME".

I don't strive to be "the same" as men.

It's okay if women say they want a "manly man" which ALWAYS entails the typical masculine traits....strong, good job, so on and so forth. So it goes both ways, nothing wrong with a man who wants a "womanly woman" who encompasses the typical feminine traits.

Yeah, I could never be the submissive one in the relationship, TBH. The mere thought of being a stay-at-home mom really gives me the shivers. I want to work and make my own money, and never be dependent on my boyfriend/husband/whatever.

So are your kids gonna go to daycare or something?

As far as being dependent on your bf/husband/whatever...well hopefully in the case of children and whatnot that would be a husband. And why look at it as being dependent on him? Wouldn't in that situation he also be dependent on YOU? Just because you depend on each other for different things doesn't make one "lesser" than the other.

I mean he'd be dependent on you to raise the children, to clean the house, to cook the food. You'd be dependent on him to keep a job, work steadily, and bring home $.

If you and your husband are both on board with this and you both believe it is how things should be, then presumably you share similar life outlooks, similar values, and those things are the foundation for a lasting relationship! Where you mutually depend on each other for different things.

And if you don't want to be the "submissive" one, that means you want to be the dominant one? with a submissive man? Or you want you both to be dominant...? Ack...sounds like a power struggle.

January 9, 2013

I knew it! Drseussgrrl is my long-lost twin.

January 9, 2013

10 pages of fun wow.

I didn't read anything about lesser. Just not "equal" which btw for a board so obsessed with semantics, the definition of equal is "THE SAME".

I don't strive to be "the same" as men.

It's okay if women say they want a "manly man" which ALWAYS entails the typical masculine traits....strong, good job, so on and so forth. So it goes both ways, nothing wrong with a man who wants a "womanly woman" who encompasses the typical feminine traits.

So are your kids gonna go to daycare or something?

As far as being dependent on your bf/husband/whatever...well hopefully in the case of children and whatnot that would be a husband. And why look at it as being dependent on him? Wouldn't in that situation he also be dependent on YOU? Just because you depend on each other for different things doesn't make one "lesser" than the other.

I mean he'd be dependent on you to raise the children, to clean the house, to cook the food. You'd be dependent on him to keep a job, work steadily, and bring home $.

If you and your husband are both on board with this and you both believe it is how things should be, then presumably you share similar life outlooks, similar values, and those things are the foundation for a lasting relationship! Where you mutually depend on each other for different things.

And if you don't want to be the "submissive" one, that means you want to be the dominant one? with a submissive man? Or you want you both to be dominant...? Ack...sounds like a power struggle.

What's wrong with sharing responsibilities? I see us both raising children, cleaning the house, cooking the food, and bringing in the $$. Not everything in the world is black and white.

What I don't want is a situation like what my parents have. My mom doesn't work and is financially dependent on my dad. Sure, she goes to the mall every once in a while to shop, but she usually has to ask permission to buy anything 'expensive'. My dad can go out and buy whatever he wants when he wants. Sure, sometimes my mom complains and calls his purchase stupid, but what's she going to do about it? She can't leave. My mom also hasn't worked in almost 20 years. If my dad divorced her it's not like she could just go back to the same job she used to have. At best she could probably get a vew low income job as a secretary or something, but hardly enough. My dad got to grow his career and his business and my mom stayed at home with me. If I had to pick one or the other, I'd be my dad. Financial independence is golden.

January 9, 2013

What's wrong with sharing responsibilities? I see us both raising children, cleaning the house, cooking the food, and bringing in the $$. Not everything in the world is black and white.

What I don't want is a situation like what my parents have. My mom doesn't work and is financially dependent on my dad. Sure, she goes to the mall every once in a while to shop, but she usually has to ask permission to buy anything 'expensive'. My dad can go out and buy whatever he wants when he wants. Sure, sometimes my mom complains and calls his purchase stupid, but what's she going to do about it? She can't leave. My mom also hasn't worked in almost 20 years. If my dad divorced her it's not like she could just go back to the same job she used to have. At best she could probably get a vew low income job as a secretary or something, but hardly enough. My dad got to grow his career and his business and my mom stayed at home with me. If I had to pick one or the other, I'd be my dad. Financial independence is golden.

Sorry honey you can't be your dad and you can't have it all. You want some two people work household you'll have your kid raised by strangers or I guess if you're lucky your mom which wouldn't be that bad... once again your "useless" mom filling a very important role. Anyways you're kind of my target AVOID this girl on this feminist crap.

You do seem cool TheZebra other than all this feminism. So if a man were listing to my advice it's the X for you. Which is good for them in my opinion, and why not good for you as you hold completely contradictory views.

January 9, 2013

Nightsky,

Question...is english your primary language or are you from another country?

January 9, 2013

Geez Zebra. Does your mom know you pity her and her life choices so much?

What's wrong with sharing responsibilities? I see us both raising children, cleaning the house, cooking the food, and bringing in the $$. Not everything in the world is black and white.

Well more like neither raising the children, the babysitter raising the children.

What I don't want is a situation like what my parents have. My mom doesn't work and is financially dependent on my dad. Sure, she goes to the mall every once in a while to shop, but she usually has to ask permission to buy anything 'expensive'. My dad can go out and buy whatever he wants when he wants.

Well your parents either didn't discuss the arrangement and AGREE ON IT before hand (or they did and your mom is fine with it) or someone along the line changed things up. In any marriage, unless there is unlimited $$ or something, any expensive purchases should be agreed on both partners.

My dad got to grow his career and his business and my mom stayed at home with me. If I had to pick one or the other, I'd be my dad. Financial independence is golden.

Your mom was stuck staying home with you I guess. That's how you seem to look at it. You are lucky your mom got to stay home with you. Kids need that.

You are putting way more value on your dad's contributions to your family than your moms. That's sad.

January 9, 2013

Nightsky,

Question...is english your primary language or are you from another country?

The "E" in English should be in caps. It's my primary language and since you brought the topic up I do seem to have a higher grasp of it than you my logically challenged poster.

January 9, 2013

Gender equality doesn't mean men and women are the same. It means they should both enjoy the same rights, protection, opportunities, resources and treatment. Again treatment can be different if there's biological reasons for that - nobody will send women to the mines just as men won't receive special protection due to being pregnant. There's no sound reason why women should receive different pay for the same work though.

I'm from a country where traditional social roles are very much respected, 80% of women do stay home till the child's at least 3 years old. I think we actually have the longest parental leave sponsored by the state (up to 4 years for each child) in the world. And even when women go back to work after that it's mostly up to them to do the cooking, cleaning etc. Still I don't get the submissive/dominant dynamic, relationships are about co-operation, mutual respect, shared decision making... I wouldn't want my husband to think he's better than me or his decisions are more valid just because he makes more money than me and is The Man.

As for sexual harrassment and anti-discrimination laws those are gender neutral, but of course women will be the victims more often since they're much more vulnerable to sexual exploitation. It's a fact and we are aware of that every day, having to listen to sleazy comments from strangers, being afraid to walk alone at night and all that other crap. Nightsky if your future wife or daughter were being sexually harrassed in the work place would you really tell them to just suck it up and leave the job? I'm not saying some of the harrassment cases in the US aren't ridiculous, but the gist of someone taking advantage of someone just because of a perceived superiority is disgusting.

January 9, 2013

Gender equality doesn't mean men and women are the same. It means they should both enjoy the same rights, protection, opportunities, resources and treatment. Again treatment can be different if there's biological reasons for that - nobody will send women to the mines just as men won't receive special protection due to being pregnant. There's no sound reason why women should receive different pay for the same work though.

I'm from a country where traditional social roles are very much respected, 80% of women do stay home till the child's at least 3 years old. I think we actually have the longest parental leave sponsored by the state (up to 4 years for each child) in the world. And even when women go back to work after that it's mostly up to them to do the cooking, cleaning etc. Still I don't get the submissive/dominant dynamic, relationships are about co-operation, mutual respect, shared decision making... I wouldn't want my husband to think he's better than me or his decisions are more valid just because he makes more money than me and is The Man.

As for sexual harrassment and anti-discrimination laws those are gender neutral, but of course women will be the victims more often since they're much more vulnerable to sexual exploitation. It's a fact and we are aware of that every day, having to listen to sleazy comments from strangers, being afraid to walk alone at night and all that other crap. Nightsky if your future wife or daughter were being sexually harrassed in the work place would you really tell them to just suck it up and leave the job? I'm not saying some of the harrassment cases in the US aren't ridiculous, but the gist of someone taking advantage of someone just because of a perceived superiority is disgusting.

Awesome post.

January 9, 2013

The "E" in English should be in caps. It's my primary language and since you brought the topic up I do seem to have a higher grasp of it than you my logically challenged poster.

LOL. I wasn't trying to insult you. It was actually a serious question.

Your *E*nglish is god awful...go back and read your posts. Most of them are barely legible. Your views are also pretty outdated so I was just wondering if this is how people from your country saw things.

Where are you from?

January 9, 2013

Your mom was stuck staying home with you I guess. That's how you seem to look at it. You are lucky your mom got to stay home with you. Kids need that.

You are putting way more value on your dad's contributions to your family than your moms. That's sad.

Here story was full of holes. why can't her mom work now... whats wrong with a secretary job... like would her mom be the fcken CEO of a hot dog stand by now had she been working all this time. Is her father telling her mother she still can't work. I mean even with out her father she could live like a queen on waitress salary at this point in her life. It all makes no sense. Her mom is just some human traffic in this story. Another reason not to date a feminist this story just makes no sense. Propaganda!

January 9, 2013

Will it be taken seriously? Will it fall on deaf ears? Will they tell him to "suck it up"?

Give me a minute to poll every single HR department in the US.

January 9, 2013

Oh geez... you. I wanted you to argue my points! Not start the comedy tour.

Yeah I know, but I tend to do what I like. I did contribute to the thread, so it's not as though I was completely unco-operative....but I don't usually find these "dating feminists" discussions very fruitful to participate in. Pay me, and I'll happily argue something I'm not really interested in to your heart's content.

Generally I just think it's up to couples to figure out what works for them both as individuals and as a team, rather than for people to dictate how they should think and live, and what kind of relationship they should have. If there are men out there who prefer non traditional women, then why shouldn't they get together on that basis? I don't see why any couple's consensual relationship needs to be other people's business. As a libertarian, I should have thought you'd adopt a similar perspective rather than urging other men to adopt your own tastes and preferences in women.

Edited January 9, 2013 by Taramere

January 9, 2013

Will it be taken seriously? Will it fall on deaf ears? Will they tell him to "suck it up"?

Yeah I know, but I tend to do what I like. I did contribute to the thread when you asked, so it's not as though I was completely unco-operative....but I don't usually find these "dating feminists" discussions very fruitful to participate in. Pay me, and I'll happily argue something I'm not really interested in to your heart's content.

Gnerally I just think it's up to couples to figure out what works for them both as individuals and as a team, rather than for people to dictate how they should think and live, and what kind of relationship they should have. If there are men out there who prefer non traditional women, then why shouldn't they get together on that basis? I don't see why any couple's consensual relationship needs to be other people's business.

Wise words from my now SECOND favorite poster! Veggirl just argues my ideas with so much feeling and she never asks for money lol.

Although I would love to hire you to do some literary work for me. You are a much better writer than me.

January 9, 2013

Will it be taken seriously? Will it fall on deaf ears? Will they tell him to "suck it up"?

I once called the police because of a guy who got in a bar fight with me. The guy attacked me. The guy than said that I had attacked him. So when the police got there they were going to arrest both of us. They gave us the option of both dropping the charges so I just did.

Can you imagine what would happen if I called the police on a woman who hit me. Can you imagine if I accused a woman of sexual harassment. She'd probably say "IT WAS HIM WHO WAS SEXUALLY HARASSING ME." Lets get real people daddy government isn't out for my benefit.

January 9, 2013

What I want to know is, where does the rabbit hole end? Where does this entitlement stop and true gender equality begin? How many wrecked homes, damaged children, and confused young adults in dating will we have to see until we get the message that modern feminism hasn't worked? First-wave feminism did its job and was an honorable goal. Slut walks, encouragement of divorce, shaming of masculinity... Where does it end?

I'm pretty sure it never ends till men like ourselves say no more. Did you read a previous poster here talking with disgust about her stay at home mother. That if she wanted a job now she'd have to be a secretary... if she was lucky...

Yeah I'm right with you enough is enough and this was a lot of what this thread is about. In fact I'm going to re-write the 10 commandments of dating for men and put "no feminists" at number 1! for effect

January 9, 2013

Wise words from my now SECOND favorite poster! Veggirl just argues my ideas with so much feeling and she never asks for money lol.

I'll accept the demotion with as much grace as I can muster.

Although I would love to hire you to do some literary work for me. You are a much better writer than me.

Haha. Thanks. I was discussing this with a friend who is an actual (published) writer. She was giving me positive strokes, but I'd never be a proper writer like her. I'm too cold and clinical in my style, I think.

That's probably what you enjoy though, you closet masochist. I sense elements of denial and reaction formation in the "I'm the man, I'm in charge God damn it..." approach. The truth is, you want nothing more than to be dressed in a baby-gro, spun around on a wheel of misfortune and spanked periodically.

January 9, 2013

d'argennes,

Are you doing some kind of study for school or something? I swear you throw out all these terms and concepts, but I just get the sense that you have no actual life experience.

How old are you? Have you been married? Have any kids? Divorced?

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