10 commandments of dating for men

[ThaWholigan]

This list isn't terrible. A good portion of it is common sense from an individualistic point of view regarding preferences for a partner.

 

Obviously, I'm not gonna follow all of it. I have my own "commandments" regarding what I want in a partner .

[Nightsky]

This list isn't terrible. A good portion of it is common sense from an individualistic point of view regarding preferences for a partner.

 

Obviously, I'm not gonna follow all of it. I have my own "commandments" regarding what I want in a partner .

 

Obviously, but which ones do you have problem with?

[Treasa]

I think you believe I'm serious, so why be cute and ask me? Also whether I'm older or younger than you I certainly feel more mature.

 

In other words, KungFuJoe, he's younger than you. A lot.

 

Ok, this thread is amusing, but I have to go install a new shower head now. Wait, is that ok for me to do, since I'm a girl, or should I ask my male roommate to do it, despite him never having done it before?

 

And is it mitigated by the fact that I'm going to make some homemade laundry soap later?

 

Oooooh, I so hope I get your approval and validation on this!!!

[Nightsky]

"Just be with the kids", like it's some lowly chore or time waster hobby.

 

You have no idea how happy I am that most people share your view on parents staying at home to take care of their children.

 

Why are you happy it's a bad attitude he has. Do you run a daycare or something haha.

[ThaWholigan]

Obviously, but which ones do you have problem with?

Well I don't actually have a personal problem with any of it. If you want a patriarchy-supporting wife, go you! I hope you find her .

 

I'm not gonna stay away from a girl just because she watches porn . Or a *gasp* feminist either. Saying that, I'm not a conservative or someone who believes completely in patriarchy (or matriarchy for that matter). I'm also not sure that the shaving thing is even a big deal - I shave quite a bit. I don't wax though .

 

You've added your own caveats to the main message of your commandments, but they solely apply to you and guys who think the way you do. In that regard, the list is fine - even though there are obviously a few who don't think so. I'm not bothered because I have my own views so your advice is merely optional .

[KungFuJoe]

I think you believe I'm serious, so why be cute and ask me? Also whether I'm older or younger than you I certainly feel more mature. Look how quickly you fly into a fit haha. No I don't live with my parents do you live with my parents? hahaha

 

You're barking up the wrong tree. I make enough money to support my family. I have 3 kids, btw. My wife runs her own business and she makes enough as well. She works because she likes what she does and it makes her happy. We both work from home as well so we're with our kids pretty much 24/7.

 

Let's just say money is not a problem for us.

 

I'm not flying into a fit. I just find it funny that someone as young and inexperienced as you thinks he is the #1 authority on relationships and raising a family.

 

Try actually DOING something before trying to come off like you know best for a change.

[AMusing]

Also, let me add that I am not some airheaded woman who doesn't understand what she deserves out of life. I am a biology major with a full tuition scholarship and a 3.68 GPA. I'm not a simple girl by any means. Don't get me wrong I love to be relaxed and have fun. But I also have a lot on my mind, passionate political and religious views, plenty of hobbies and interests to talk about, and I like to think I provide intelligent and captivating conversations with my friends and S/Os.

I just like being a woman.

 

I'm all for women choosing to stay at home with their kids, if they so desire. But, would you really want to marry a man who considers you "lesser" than him? Who dismisses your accomplishments as secondary to his own? Or would you rather be with a man who respects you and is grateful for your work building your family?

[AMusing]

I find it cruel how you laugh at that guy. That kind of guy you link too is the type of guy who would be willing to date a girl like you. One of the reasons he has done so bad with women is he is a timid man who doesn't chase the right kind of girl.

 

Oh, Nightsky, I assure you I have no issue finding men "willing" to date me. They are frequently quiet, sometimes shy, always polite, but never misogynists.

 

I noticed you responded to many other posts, but failed to address my request for evidence to back up any of your claims. Or is this more of a "truthiness" based set of commandments?

[TheZebra]

Yeah, I could never be the submissive one in the relationship, TBH. The mere thought of being a stay-at-home mom really gives me the shivers. I want to work and make my own money, and never be dependent on my boyfriend/husband/whatever.

[40 Fonzarelli]

I never understood why women balk at the idea of staying home and watching the kids. Money is important but so is family. It's a shame our kids these days are being raised by daycare and babysitters instead of their own parents.

 

To add to the list for me, I would like a woman that knows how to cook. I'll be more than happy to join her in the kitchen or sometimes even cook myself. But nothing worse than a woman who doesn't know how to cook or refuses to learn only because they fear falling into traditional gender roles.

[Samilia]

By feminist I understand a woman who wants to castrate her man for no other good reasons but her need to feel superior. I believe in equal rights, I also do believe in different roles within the family, or relationship.

 

At the end of the day it's whatever make us happy, who's the better fit for us.

[Charlie Harper]

I find it amusing that some men like the woman to be anchored at home raising the kids, but then they get home and there is no conversation or exitement because the "work" being done by the woman is so boring and repetitive.... hence they find a nice younger working woman and think WOW SHE IS SO INDEPENDENT AND INTERESTING!!!...

 

Some guys really know jack**** about what makes a woman interesting, having a challenging partner is GREAT, a woman who makes you a better person and you also make her a better person. When I speak with these kind of guys I always asked them "how many diapers have you changed?" the tipical response is ZERO my wife does it!!!

 

Give me a challenging woman who likes to question everything than a stupid bimbo that always says "whatever you want honey!"

[TheZebra]

Yeah' date=' there's a bunch of "yes ma'am" beta and omega males out there for you that would gladly be whipped. I wouldn't call them men though.[/quote']

 

What are you talking about? I like relationships where both partners are equal. Both work, but raise the kids, both do the laundry/cook. That's a real man in my book.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I'm not flying into a fit. I just find it funny that someone as young and inexperienced as you thinks he is the #1 authority on relationships and raising a family.

 

There seems to be a major epidemic of this going around here lately. Somebody call the CDC.

[Nightsky]

Well I don't actually have a personal problem with any of it. If you want a patriarchy-supporting wife, go you! I hope you find her .

 

I'm not gonna stay away from a girl just because she watches porn . Or a *gasp* feminist either. Saying that, I'm not a conservative or someone who believes completely in patriarchy (or matriarchy for that matter). I'm also not sure that the shaving thing is even a big deal - I shave quite a bit. I don't wax though .

 

You've added your own caveats to the main message of your commandments, but they solely apply to you and guys who think the way you do. In that regard, the list is fine - even though there are obviously a few who don't think so. I'm not bothered because I have my own views so your advice is merely optional .

 

I'm telling you man the Porn thing is a great indicator of trouble. I'm giving you gold here. OMG for your sake please stay away from some on who labels themselves a feminist. May seem cute in the beginning but it will get old fast.

 

Once you've had a relationship last over a year if it doesn't work out revisit this list.

 

Oh no, but if you prefer younger girls it certainly helps that so many people view raising children as something you do in between making money for that new car or if you don't have any marketable skills.

 

I am truly blessed to be alive in a time such as this.

 

Haha I'm not sure exactly what you're saying but it's funny.

 

You're barking up the wrong tree. I make enough money to support my family. I have 3 kids, btw. My wife runs her own business and she makes enough as well. She works because she likes what she does and it makes her happy. We both work from home as well so we're with our kids pretty much 24/7.

 

Let's just say money is not a problem for us.

 

I'm not flying into a fit. I just find it funny that someone as young and inexperienced as you thinks he is the #1 authority on relationships and raising a family.

 

Try actually DOING something before trying to come off like you know best for a change.

 

So you have 3 kids, and you say you and your wife work with home and get to be with your kids all the time yet you say what I'm saying is nonsensical. I never said my wife shouldn't work from home if she finds a way.

 

I don't exist in a vacuum do I? I come from parents and have family and friends right? So I don't see where you get off telling me I can't give advice haha.

 

I'm all for women choosing to stay at home with their kids, if they so desire. But, would you really want to marry a man who considers you "lesser" than him? Who dismisses your accomplishments as secondary to his own? Or would you rather be with a man who respects you and is grateful for your work building your family?

 

OK so those are the women I'm after.

 

Why don't you leave and stop trying to infect her with your diseased LEFTIST mind haha.

 

Yeah, I could never be the submissive one in the relationship, TBH. The mere thought of being a stay-at-home mom really gives me the shivers. I want to work and make my own money, and never be dependent on my boyfriend/husband/whatever.

 

You're already very dependent on men in this society especially with all the welfare and equal opportunity laws, and harassment laws it's really quite funny.

 

Look this attitude of yours will get you a lower quality of man unless its just talk.

 

I never understood why women balk at the idea of staying home and watching the kids. Money is important but so is family. It's a shame our kids these days are being raised by daycare and babysitters instead of their own parents.

 

To add to the list for me, I would like a woman that knows how to cook. I'll be more than happy to join her in the kitchen or sometimes even cook myself. But nothing worse than a woman who doesn't know how to cook or refuses to learn only because they fear falling into traditional gender roles.

 

Yes she needs to be able to cook and clean at a basic level.

 

I do understand many women these days have been infected by a disease of the mind. Same goes for many men.

 

Yeah' date=' there's a bunch of "yes ma'am" beta and omega males out there for you that would gladly be whipped. I wouldn't call them men though.[/quote']

 

Haha yeah these women are the same ones who will complain men suck.

 

By feminist I understand a woman who wants to castrate her man for no other good reasons but her need to feel superior. I believe in equal rights, I also do believe in different roles within the family, or relationship.

 

At the end of the day it's whatever make us happy, who's the better fit for us.

 

Yes pretty much.

 

I find it amusing that some men like the woman to be anchored at home raising the kids, but then they get home and there is no conversation or exitement because the "work" being done by the woman is so boring and repetitive.... hence they find a nice younger working woman and think WOW SHE IS SO INDEPENDENT AND INTERESTING!!!...

 

Some guys really know jack**** about what makes a woman interesting, having a challenging partner is GREAT, a woman who makes you a better person and you also make her a better person. When I speak with these kind of guys I always asked them "how many diapers have you changed?" the tipical response is ZERO my wife does it!!!

 

Give me a challenging woman who likes to question everything than a stupid bimbo that always says "whatever you want honey!"

 

That quite the story you tell. That girl at work who gets ****ed by the married guy is just being used by a degenerate. He doesn't really find her interesting haha. If he does he's an idiot and there for you're saying idiots make the best choices.

 

What are you talking about? I like relationships where both partners are equal. Both work, but raise the kids, both do the laundry/cook. That's a real man in my book.

 

He's talking about the lame duck men you'll be dating if you want some one who buys into that.

 

Men are men, and women are women. Sure both can cook and clean etc. You should stay home and raise the kids primarily in my opinion. If not I hope there is a grandma on hand cause the idea of working some job and letting day care/ baby sitters raise the kid is silly.

[MoreThanThat]

I have to say the OP is the most WTF one I've seen on here yet.

 

I'm a PROUD feminist and actually becoming known as an activist in promoting women's rights. I've really never ever experienced great guys being turned off in this. Most of them who know what I've done actually thinks it adds to character since this is done from an altruistic perspective. Feminists whine and cheat? Really? I've never cheated. People who do are lacking in confidence or have other issues. I don't whine in relationships.

 

Honestly, I think the OP's aversion to feminists may come from being exposed to some who recognize what a misogynist he is and respond accordingly.

 

Whatever.

[Nightsky]

I have to say the OP is the most WTF one I've seen on here yet.

 

I'm a PROUD feminist and actually becoming known as an activist in promoting women's rights. I've really never ever experienced great guys being turned off in this. Most of them who know what I've done actually thinks it adds to character since this is done from an altruistic perspective. Feminists whine and cheat? Really? I've never cheated. People who do are lacking in confidence or have other issues. I don't whine in relationships.

 

Honestly, I think the OP's aversion to feminists may come from being exposed to some who recognize what a misogynist he is and respond accordingly.

 

Whatever.

 

It's only the most wtf one you've seen because I called out your sick political movement that infects every relationship you enter.

 

How's what you do for what you view as a special interest you are apart of altruistic. Nothing selfless about it right? I mean if you were a man maybe you could convince yourself it's altruistic. I mean it would be like if I was an oil company and I considered it altruistic to lobby for oil rights haha because it helps people... Look how skewed your thinking is.

 

You recognize I'm a misogynist, why because I don't like feminists haha.

[Emilia]

 

You recognize I'm a misogynist, why because I don't like feminists haha.

 

You are a misogynist because men such as yourself and several others on this site blame women for your inability to align yourself with ever changing gender roles. You can't keep up with a modernising society, that's your problem.

[Eternal Sunshine]

RANT:

 

The worst men are those that are from my home country (which is kind of backwards on the whole women equality thing) but grew up in the Western world.

 

So they embraced the fact that women should work and earn as much as men. They expect it of their future wife to do all the house work, rise 5 kids without help AND work full time so that she can contribute equally (or close to) financially. They should just hire a slave

 

Even my dad told me: never marry an Eastern European man. I love you and don't want you ever to have that kind of life.

[Nightsky]

You are a misogynist because men such as yourself and several others on this site blame women for your inability to align yourself with ever changing gender roles. You can't keep up with a modernising society, that's your problem.

 

Have I blamed any one? I don't think so. I simply said not to date feminists. I don't see how that is blaming women. I am modernizing society, your talk is so 90's and old. I come here giving advice for success not crying about my situation.

[Nightsky]

I will now revise and restate my rules once again in no particular order.

 

Changes from prior version will be bolded and detailed in italics.

 

Thank you to the people who have added to this discussion in a posotive way and help me refine my opinions. I hope this advice continues to help those who need and have thanked me through PM's.

 

Got rid of the don't date a girl who makes you shave/wax and condensed it into this one under man hating10.) Don't date feminists. This means don't date a woman who truelly buys into complete equality between men and women. As in a woman who thinks their is no difference between boys and girls other than social constructs made up by the patriarchy. Also be inclined toward women who support the patriarchy. I'm not saying don't date a woman who believes in the right to vote or a right to respect... I'm saying stay away from true feminists feminists. Some women who associate with feminism do so wrongly so if a woman is willing to listen to reason don't count her out till she has shown she is man hating. Also even if a woman claims not to be part of any political or philisophical ideal but hates men don't date her. This isn't something that you need to fix or should put up with. Hating men would include wanting a man to be less manly ie making him shave or was his body or face.

 

9.) Don't date a nag. It may seem cute in the begining but it will get old quick. Do not date a woman who is going to try to change you in any way. I'm not talking about a girl who says don't fart near me or something like that. More the woman who just talks ****ty about the way you eat or your friends or things like that. Seems obvious but watch out for this.

 

8.) Don't date a girl who enjoys porn. Seems fun right a girl who looks at porn. Wrong stay away from this kind of girl. Probably a feminist but its got its own category.

 

*** New category7.) Be mindful of where you meet a girl. Nothing is inherently wrong with meeting a girl in a bar but you are likely to meet a lesser quality of person depending on the location. Girls are on a much higher guard in places like a bar and even if she is a nice girl it can taint the meeting to have it in a bar. She may reject you outright when she would have gladly talked to you if you had met her say at a friends party or the library. Also even if she gives you her number she'll be less excited about the guy she met in a hook up environment like the bar. Also as a man you need to be very very wary of online dating. Understand the reality that it brings the advantage to the woman. She gets hundreds (or at least many) people showing interest and asking her out. While you as the man using online dating have to go around sending lots of messages and being ignored. Also this is just for the opportunity to meet a girl who may or may not be attractive in person. It wastes time and it's a impersonal way of meeting people. Your quality of women you meet will probably also be down. Obviously you can meet some one perfect online or at a bar but I highly recommend not relying on these sources or even using them at all. Instead make your social circle or real places like the park, an event what ever a place to meet women.

 

6.) This seems obvious but date a girl who wants to please her man. This includes sex! This means she wants to give it to you regularly as a priority. Understands men need it regularly and not to with hold it. Also be able to do things like cook or clean. Also this isn't about getting something for nothing. I believe in equivalent exchange. That means if she's making you happy you should be making her happy.

 

5.) Date a girl you find sexy. Seems obvious but some people need to hear this.

 

4.) Date a girl you find cute. I'll add this separate from sexy. Sexy meaning you want to have sex with her. Cute meaning you find the way she acts and is to be charming. As a man you know you can find a total bitch sexy and want to spank her and fck her and all that. It doesn't mean you find her cute... as in charming. If you date her you need to find her cute as well as sexy.

 

3.) Really all this stuff is so obvious I feel like doctor Phil here... I guess this won't stop people from arguing with me like they do with him though but... HUMOR... This doesn't mean she has to be funny but that can be good too. But you want to share a sense of humor. Find the same things funny. Most importantly she needs to find you funny! Or atleast act that way lol. Obviously man humor won't always be funny to women but when you want to make her laugh or when you want to share a laugh you need to be able too.

 

2)Trust. This has to be some one you feel you can build trust with. You know hold your secrets... not cheat on you at a minimum type of thing. Make sure she's a woman with proper boundaries. If she's your gf sh shouldn't be obsessing over an ex or have some male friend she goes on date like activities with such as drinking or watching movies, or hanging out at his place. No alone time with other guys or thinking about them in a way that will get you jealous. If she seems like a cheater listen to yourself. Don't put up with drama for the sake of drama.

 

1) In shape. She should be in some kind of shape. I mean I don't need to date an athlete... but I'm not going to date some fat chick. I put this separate from sexy for reasons that should be obvious. I think a fat chick can be pretty... but I want some one who respects their body to at least the minimal degree of not being fat. Also for the most part I wouldn't be attracted to some one who is fat.

[Nightsky]

Yep she is one on the list not to date...no doubt about it..

 

This kind of comment would put a woman on the list of people to ignore. Nothing but a ticking time bomb with comments like that.

 

as much as I look into the OP comments I can't find one where he says that women are less than men... he says they are different... thus equality doesn't work... men are better in some things and women better in others...

 

I didn't make any value judgments. I do believe "CRAZY" things like men are better and enjoy somethings on avg that women don't and vice versa. I also strive to be a better "man." Not some sexless/genderless person.

[Anela]

Yep she is one on the list not to date...no doubt about it..

 

I don't think the women here who are being labelled as those men shouldn't date, are bothered by the idea of being ignored by the men who are making such statements.

[Emilia]

I don't think the women here who are being labelled as those men shouldn't date, are bothered by the idea of being ignored by the men who are making such statements.

 

Quite It's not like he would actually have that option.

[AMusing]

I said nothing about my man thinking less of me. I want to be respected, as I stated. I want a man who absolutely adores and appreciates the s**t out of me. I believe in teamwork, but I still want to be treated like a woman because I treat my S/O like a man.

I feel that men and women have different ways of pampering and catering to their other halves.

 

That's what I figured. I respect the hell out of stay-at-home moms. Heck, if I can get away with it, I'd love to work part-time while my (future) kids are young. But according to Nightsky, you aren't any man's equal, because you weren't born with a Y chromosome. Assuming you don't think less of women who do choose to have careers, I'm pretty sure we're on the same side of this debate.