jags2bowl27 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 okay guys, I did some thinking, im to the point now where honestly, i dont see how my relationship with my ex is fixable. She came back when I had someone else crying and begging to just go away once she knew i broke things off willing to work on stuff from long distance (which was prob stupid but i knew my head wasnt in it for the new girl and it wasnt right). Anyways, I've determined that I am better than being someone's second option, and when **** hits the fan with her new guy, im afraid she is going to try things again and im just not okay with that. BUT WHAT STILL BOTHERS ME IS: she chose this new kid over me. Im very competitive and I have a very big ego sometimes... and even though i say to myself i dont know how she could do this, in all honesty, we were long distance and i enjoyed having someone close when i was with the new girl too. But i think what still has me on edge is that she CHOSE this new guy over me not once, but twice. I have 2 years invested, this kid has 3 months and he is saying he loves her. I know most have said, let her go, shes not worth it let him have her but my "ego" is taking a hit right now. It kills me also that she HAS someone, and I dont right now.... I gave up a great girl and now she is afraid to even associate with me which the new girl has every right. How do i cope with this..... I constantly think about him, instead of us two. I feel like if they broke things off and I knew about it, id chuckle and move on. What do you guys think.... someone put it into some kind of easy outook for me
Chi townD Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Okay, I could put it into perspective for you. But you won't like it. You got it in the face with a humble pie. You're not God's gift to women and there's someone on this planet she'd rather be with. There I said it. So, now what? You learn from this. You heal and move on. You have to look at it as, "okay, she made a choice and it wasn't me." Not, "What does he have that I don't have?' It makes it seem that you're not entirely upset of the fact that you lost her. You seem to be more upset that you lost her to him. It sucks. Your Ego does take a hit, but you grow from it. Chaulk it up as a learning experience.
na49 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Honestly, I know how you feel. It f*cking sucks losing them to someone else. To know that they made a choice and it wasn't us. It hurts to think that they are satisfied with someone else instead of us. It's definitely a shot to our ego. This new person shows up and all of a sudden they are "in love"? Like we meant nothing, they can just love someone else like that? Ways to cope? Well don't be so hung up over it. (easier said than done) Obviously the idea of them together is a killer. Try not to obsess over it because honestly there's nothing you can do. You're powerless in all of this and can't force her to feel a certain way.
Author jags2bowl27 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 It makes it seem that you're not entirely upset of the fact that you lost her. You seem to be more upset that you lost her to him. It sucks. Your Ego does take a hit, but you grow from it. There is no question I loved that girl the death when we were together, but after the last 4-5 months, and her flip flopping, and hanging me on a string, I think im starting to feel like enough is enough already. She HAS made it clear that I need to move on and yes she did CHOSE him over me. If none of this never happened, I really thought we would have a future together but yes, it was a choice she made and she made it for the both of us. All im saying is with all the hurt, anger, confusion, flip flopping, i think really the one thing that is BOTHERING me is that she is still with the kid and I got beat out basically. I know it sounds bad, i know they have had sex, but so have I... but its just crazy how in love we seemed but now its nothing. thats all....
Chi townD Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 Well, then you need to change the way you think. You need to think, "You know what? HER LOSS!!!" If she want to be with a kid, then so be it. That's her choice. Right now, you need to get your revenge and that revenge is to lead a damn good life. Make positive changes in your life. Get a new haircut and buy a new wardrobe. Get a membership to a gym and go! Work out your frustrations and your stress on the treadmill and push some weight. This will help you to get that rock hard bod too! Go back to school, if you didn't finish your degree, do it. If you have, then start grad school. This will keep your mind on your books and not on what she's doing with the boy ass clown. Get new hobbies. Join a running club or a cycling club, co-ed sports league. And finally, travel! Go somewhere you've always wanted to go. Save up for it and go! Wouldn't it be nice if one of her girlfriends could tell her, "Hey! You'll never guess who I ran into. Jags! Yeah, and GIRL!! He looks good! I saw him coming out of the gym. He was dressing really sharp and he said he had to go to the store to pick up a few items for his trip. He say that next week he's going to Bermuda for a few days just to get away. SO! I see you're taking your boy toy to Game Stop, huh."
Author jags2bowl27 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 Well, then you need to change the way you think. You need to think, "You know what? HER LOSS!!!" If she want to be with a kid, then so be it. That's her choice. Right now, you need to get your revenge and that revenge is to lead a damn good life. Make positive changes in your life. Get a new haircut and buy a new wardrobe. Get a membership to a gym and go! Work out your frustrations and your stress on the treadmill and push some weight. This will help you to get that rock hard bod too! Go back to school, if you didn't finish your degree, do it. If you have, then start grad school. This will keep your mind on your books and not on what she's doing with the boy ass clown. Get new hobbies. Join a running club or a cycling club, co-ed sports league. And finally, travel! Go somewhere you've always wanted to go. Save up for it and go! Wouldn't it be nice if one of her girlfriends could tell her, "Hey! You'll never guess who I ran into. Jags! Yeah, and GIRL!! He looks good! I saw him coming out of the gym. He was dressing really sharp and he said he had to go to the store to pick up a few items for his trip. He say that next week he's going to Bermuda for a few days just to get away. SO! I see you're taking your boy toy to Game Stop, huh." Haha thanks man, yeah it is her loss and honestly, I am in grad school, 6 classes away from a degree, I work and make 50k at age 23, i have my own house already.... i know i have a ton going for me and she did lose a lot with that decision. I do go to the gym, been going for a month now and gained 6 lbs of muscle. Ive always gone to the gym and toned but never consistent. The hardest thing is seeing such a positive relationship turn into this. My dad is crushed as my ex used to talk to him via text almost once every 3 days... he actually hates the girl right now. Its all a sudden change, its crazy
tinkerbash Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 my ex said he loves me too.. we have broke up before but he really only realised his feelings when i started dating again.. things are bad now but you really need to start to let go and grieve
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