nes9 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 So I was broken up with on january 2nd as you can see the details of in my post on the breaking up forum. Long story short, I was a rebound for this girl and over xmas break she went back to her ex boyfriend. I was very worked up about it for the first 2 days but having been dumped a few times before, I am familiar with my emotions and have gotten better with the coping process and speeding it up. I would certainly be lying if I said I was over my ex and could easily date a new girl without thinking about said ex. I definitely still think about her and want to be with her, but I know I need to just move on. This past saturday, my buddies basically forced me to go out with them so I wouldn't stay in sulking by myself and I did. Low and behold, I actually met a cute girl who was quite interested in me that night. I got her number and alluded to asking her out sometime. I go to school at a medical campus and am definitely busy when school is in session, and it turns out she is a nurse at the hospital on my campus which is quite convenient. My question is should I follow through with asking this girl out on a date? Being a rebound myself, I would hate to ever subject a girl to being my rebound, thus making me a hypocrite. I feel like there is a small window once getting a girls number and if I'm going to ask her on a date, I can't exactly wait a few months until I'm COMPLETELY over my ex. It's possible she could end up being better than my ex and I'll never know if I don't try. So obviously I'm leaning towards doing it, but I just wanted other peoples advice on the matter and how I should go about it all and handle the situation.
Casablanca Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 I'd say never pass up an opportunity, but take it real real slow; really get to know here, nothing too physical, don't see eachother every other day, etc. Ladies, you might want to chime in, should he bring it up on a second or third date that he just got out of a relationship and want to take it slow and really get to know her?
Author nes9 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 Thanks casa, pretty much what I'm thinking. Closing doors gets you nowhere. I normally always go for a kiss at the end of a first date if it goes well just to instantly break the friend zone. I suppose this time I will cool it on the physical aspect unless I'm left swept off my feet and have completely forgotten my ex in the matter of a couple hours lol.
Author nes9 Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 And also, in this particular scenario, what would a good first date idea be? Any ideas casa?
Casablanca Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 And also, in this particular scenario, what would a good first date idea be? Any ideas casa? Dinner and fun activity is my go to, something like bowling, ice skating, go to museum, etc. With it being winter your options are limited.
Samilia Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 So I was broken up with on january 2nd as you can see the details of in my post on the breaking up forum. Long story short, I was a rebound for this girl and over xmas break she went back to her ex boyfriend. I was very worked up about it for the first 2 days but having been dumped a few times before, I am familiar with my emotions and have gotten better with the coping process and speeding it up. I would certainly be lying if I said I was over my ex and could easily date a new girl without thinking about said ex. I definitely still think about her and want to be with her, but I know I need to just move on. This past saturday, my buddies basically forced me to go out with them so I wouldn't stay in sulking by myself and I did. Low and behold, I actually met a cute girl who was quite interested in me that night. I got her number and alluded to asking her out sometime. I go to school at a medical campus and am definitely busy when school is in session, and it turns out she is a nurse at the hospital on my campus which is quite convenient. My question is should I follow through with asking this girl out on a date? Being a rebound myself, I would hate to ever subject a girl to being my rebound, thus making me a hypocrite. I feel like there is a small window once getting a girls number and if I'm going to ask her on a date, I can't exactly wait a few months until I'm COMPLETELY over my ex. It's possible she could end up being better than my ex and I'll never know if I don't try. So obviously I'm leaning towards doing it, but I just wanted other peoples advice on the matter and how I should go about it all and handle the situation. I found that if I wait to be ready for something of that nature I end up not doing it at all. Sometimes you got to get back on the horse to finally be ready. Just be honest about your intentions.
Casablanca Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 I found that if I wait to be ready for something of that nature I end up not doing it at all. Sometimes you got to get back on the horse to finally be ready. Just be honest about your intentions. Yeah, just have to let things be natural
mortensorchid Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 I'd go if I were you. You never know if and when something good can happen. Doesn't mean you have to marry this person (like a former bf of mine who was so eager to have someone in his life that he married a woman with 2 children from 2 previous marriages, then divorced him, married husband #4 and has since divorced #4), but it could be a good thing. Don't let the past haunt you.
Author nes9 Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 So I got in touch with her and she works overnight shifts at the hospital the next couple nights then is flying back home for a few days to see family and will be back next Sunday night. She suggested we meet for lunch next week, which would be convenient since were on the same campus. Normally I would deny lunch and go for an evening activity as it implies "date" more, but I'm thinking meeting her for lunch on campus may not be a bad idea. It would be short and would be a good barometer for whether or not an actual date the following weekend would work well. Think that's a good idea?
Casablanca Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 So I got in touch with her and she works overnight shifts at the hospital the next couple nights then is flying back home for a few days to see family and will be back next Sunday night. She suggested we meet for lunch next week, which would be convenient since were on the same campus. Normally I would deny lunch and go for an evening activity as it implies "date" more, but I'm thinking meeting her for lunch on campus may not be a bad idea. It would be short and would be a good barometer for whether or not an actual date the following weekend would work well. Think that's a good idea? I think its good idea
Samilia Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 So I got in touch with her and she works overnight shifts at the hospital the next couple nights then is flying back home for a few days to see family and will be back next Sunday night. She suggested we meet for lunch next week, which would be convenient since were on the same campus. Normally I would deny lunch and go for an evening activity as it implies "date" more, but I'm thinking meeting her for lunch on campus may not be a bad idea. It would be short and would be a good barometer for whether or not an actual date the following weekend would work well. Think that's a good idea? I think it's a good idea too. And I would play it cool till she comes back in town, as in not texting her again.
Author nes9 Posted January 8, 2013 Author Posted January 8, 2013 Yeah im gonna give it a go. Works perfect cuz she wont be back in town til next tuesday so it gives me more time to get my mind right before the lunch date as opposed to it being something in the next couple of days. Muy perfecto, then if it goes well its off to a dinner date. Again, all advice is appreciated!
SJC2008 Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 I'd say if you're dating to ease the pain/fill the void don't do it becasue it's not fair to her. Lunch doesn't sound like a bad idea though, it's very casual. Be honest with her!
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