Awkward situation, feelings have come back, not sure how to deal with it

[Krue]

Hi guys and gals, I'd really love some advice on how to tackle this situation at the moment - It may get a little long but i'd really appreciate it if you could give a little bit of your thoughts.

 

I am considering full NC. Quick run-down; My ex-gf dumped me late October after dating for 2.5yrs (she's recently turned 26 i'm 24) - mainly due to 'being at different stages in our lives' and due to there being a lot of unfortunate things happening out of our control in 2012 like family health, personal health, study issues etc. (I'm still studying and she works full time and has been living with someone I don't get along with from Feb 2012). She said that she really values what we had and to not rule it out in the 'future' but at the moment she needs time to become herself again. It was the first big relationship for both of us and I haven't had intercourse with any other woman in my life.

 

I went away working on placements for my nursing for 2 weeks in December, in which I didn't talk to her at all - we had been conversing a little and I did see her late November. It was her birthday on November 30th - and I didn't contact her for it, as I didn't think it was appropriate at the time - When I saw her on Nov 22nd I wished her a happy birthday and gave her a big hug and she said it wasn't my place to worry about a present. When I spoke to her in early December it emerged that she was furious that I ruined her day by not contacting her and she was heart broken that she thought I didn't want anything to do with her any more. So when I was away and we didn't talk she thought I was moving on - which I was slightly - Just enjoying my time, flirting with lots of girls at work and working towards my goals, really.

 

She sent me a text on Xmas and it spiraled all of my feelings back for her, and I rang her late December (after responding to her text). We organised to meet up for movies and some drinks some time in January. She asked if I had been with any other girls in any way and I said no - and she said she hadn't been with any guys either. This gave me a little hope but it's also a warning sign and i'm aware of that.

 

This is where it gets really tricky - I was at McDonalds with one of my friends sitting down having a meal, and she walked in with her roommate. At first they didn't see me as I was sitting far away from the entrance & counter, eventually her roommate saw me (who has caused a lot of issues for me and her and all along i've felt she just wanted my ex to be single and sleep around like she does), she nudged my ex and started laughing, my ex did a little nervous laugh from what I could tell and then moved out of sight. She looked like she had put on a lot of weight and wasn't happy. They got takeaway and left straight away. She hasn't bothered to contact me (this was on Friday - it's Tuesday now in Australia). What do I do? I was meant to see her either late this week or early next week.

 

Sorry again for the long post, but I would really appreciate some input as I'm just beside myself at the moment. I was fine in December but ever since Xmas and then seeing her randomly on Friday my mind is everywhere. Luckily I have a very good few circles of friends to hang out with.

[Krue]

Anyone got anything? Please help! I've gotten terrible anxiety since seeing her at McDonalds and sometimes have shaky hands, it's horrible. I don't like feeling this way.

[denxnis]

It's the roommate.

 

My girlfriend recently moved in with 2 single girls and guess what, same ****.

She would only talk about me when I did something to piss her off and this gave her roommates the impression that I was a terrible guy.

 

No less than 1 month after she moved she became a totally different person. Going out to bars at night and acting like she is the king of the world.

 

In all honesty your ex's actions are extremely immature. I would honestly stop with the games and just be blunt. "Do you want to work things out, yes or no?".

 

If she gives you the run around just say you can't be her friend and are going to move on. Then ignore/block her like the plague.

 

If you've already tried to reconcile with her then give her the gift of good bye and move on. I'm 24 as well, we are still young and can date girls that are 18 if we want, girl's like this aren't worth the trouble. If you have a career lined up you can do better regardless of appearance. If you are good looking that is a plus too.

Edited January 8, 2013 by denxnis

[Krue]

Hi. Thank you for your response.

It most definitely is the roommate - we had a lot more issues in 2012 than previously, there was other things going on as well but that added stress certainly wasn't needed through the roommate. It does seem as though she's changed and that is sad in itself, she was a lovely sweet girl. The ironic thing is she is the one saying i'm immature and need to grow up etc, when I was quite content being with her and working towards my career. Because I don't work or live out of home doesn't mean i'm 'immature', it simply means i'm not where she is financially. I've been through a lot and I like the person I am, although I definitely want to move out of home soon once i've finished the studying, and ofcourse it sucks still living at home and not having that freedom yet. I get quite a fair few compliments from people as to being a nice genuine person. I have asked her out for a 'date' a couple of times, and she's just said she isn't interested at the moment but isn't ruling it out. You could be right about just not talking to her any more and removing her from my life, but it's just hard to imagine that, she was my best friend as well as my lover for 2 and a half years.

[fixing]

Wow, so your 24 and Australian and a Nurse?! (Chase from Dr House) springs to mind.

 

Anyways, she dumped you right? She saw you in Mcdonalds, and quickly moved out of sight? Then, you do NOTHING. Simple as that, she left you remember? And i wouldnt hold back on dating anyone else either. I say keep going out with your friends, and put the love for this woman to the back of your mind and heart. Dont call her