Kylar Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 I'm going to write a lot here to full explain it, I'll try to give a bit of background, but also keep it as brief as possible I'm a bit inexperienced when it comes to dating, at least in my opinion. I'm 24 years old and I've only ever had one steady girlfriend which lasted about a year, I broke it off since she just wasn't a good fit for me. I didn't date at all in high school and not much in college either since I use to be quite overweight (I weighed 330 lbs) but when I was 22 I dropped to 190 (I'm 6'1 so its a respectable weight for me). Once I lost the weight I started to attempt to take advantage in the sudden interest of females around me. I went on a couple of first dates and when I was 22 I started dating a girl basically because she was very attractive. The relationship lasted nearly a year but I realized she was just too dumb for me, and it was impossible to relate with her on any level other than physical. So I threw my hat back in the pool of single 20 somethings to see what I could come up with. While in person I'm very friendly and personable, and actually extremely bold, I think I have issues coming off well in texts. Almost every time I meet a girl at a bar (or else where but the vast majority is it bars) that I'm interested in I have no issue in getting her number. Also all of those who do meet up with me for dates tend to be more interested than I am after a date or two, and I tend to be the one telling girls that I don't wish to peruse anything with them after 3 or 4 dates. Yet quite often I'll meet a girl, be fairly smitten, get her number, and nothing will end up coming off it. At first I think it was because I tended to be a little too eager in texts (No i don't say anything retarded like your my soul mate I think I just texted them a little too much). Now I've stream lined the process quite a bit. Normally my first text will be either the night I get the number if I meet them during the day, or the day after I get the number if I meet them at night. The first text is always simple, "Hey it was great meeting you". I only actually start texting back and forth if they try to start a conversation. If they do I keep replies fairly short, but never one or two words which comes off as cold. I'll let them lead the conversation and with these girls I have no issue arranging a date. Yet nearly 70% of the time (and to my dismay it is normally the girls I'm more interested in) they don't try to start a conversation after the first text. In these cases a day later or so I'll ask them when they are free the next week and invite them to dinner and drinks. Almost 100% of the time this gets rejected in some way. I'm curious as to what I could do differently to initiate additional attraction through texts with the ones who don't start to converse initially. I realize some girls will just give their number when they aren't interested to get a guy to go away, but most the time it seems a girl is more than happy to give me her number. Is it just that I'm pulling the trigger on seeing them again too quickly?
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