Only_human17 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 My long distance boyfriend just slept with another woman, we have ended things, I keep getting the urge to Facebook message her, should I or will this not help, and only make things worse?
jwi71 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 My long distance boyfriend just slept with another woman, we have ended things, I keep getting the urge to Facebook message her, should I or will this not help, and only make things worse? It won't accomplish anything positive - especially if you do it in such a manner as to leave a paper trial. Let it go, lick your wounds, grieve and move on with life.
Summer Breeze Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 My long distance boyfriend just slept with another woman, we have ended things, I keep getting the urge to Facebook message her, should I or will this not help, and only make things worse? I think you have to do what you need to do. Like with anything else you need to think of what the results might be. Make sure you're prepared. DMMs xW contacted me after each dday and I spoke with her and gave her answers to her questions. She might not even know he had a GF. If it'll make you feel better then do it but be prepared. 1
nofool4u Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 My long distance boyfriend just slept with another woman, we have ended things, I keep getting the urge to Facebook message her, should I or will this not help, and only make things worse? Nah, no point. You ended it with him. He can be her problem, or another woman's problem now. And chances are, since this is a LDR, that she didn't know he had a girlfriend. And if she did and didn't care, she'll get hers one way or another.
stillafool Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 My long distance boyfriend just slept with another woman, we have ended things, I keep getting the urge to Facebook message her, should I or will this not help, and only make things worse? Why in the world would you want to contact her?
Author Only_human17 Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 He claims she didn't know he had a GF, so since nobody else wanted to tell her I thought I'd let her know that she home wrecked my 3 year relationship.
Lillyfree Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 He claims she didn't know he had a GF, so since nobody else wanted to tell her I thought I'd let her know that she home wrecked my 3 year relationship. you're focusing your anger on the wrong person. what did your SO say about this? 1
KraftDinner Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 My long distance boyfriend just slept with another woman, we have ended things, I keep getting the urge to Facebook message her, should I or will this not help, and only make things worse? Sure, why not? It may not help anything but it can't hurt either. You're broken up. You may get some answers out of the deal, who knows. But: be prepared for the possibility of either or both of these two things happening: 1) You find out stuff that's upsetting 2) You become obsessed with the situation
MissBee Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 My long distance boyfriend just slept with another woman, we have ended things, I keep getting the urge to Facebook message her, should I or will this not help, and only make things worse? I don't think you should. What could you possibly say to her? I doubt it will help. If she especially didn't know you or know about you and especially if you two have broken up, I don't think emailing her makes much sense. You handled him and that's all that matters.
MissBee Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 He claims she didn't know he had a GF, so since nobody else wanted to tell her I thought I'd let her know that she home wrecked my 3 year relationship. I disagree that she "home wrecked". Especially since you guys also didn't really have a domestic partnership but it was long distance. Sometimes that is a pressure of long distance relationships. Not saying it is right to cheat but I think the easiest relationships to compartmentalize are those that are conducted at a distance, as your partner doesn't have to go out of their way to lie and sneak around as much and can say they are single without it seeming obvious they aren't. If he was pretending to be single, then he wrecked your relationship, not this woman who didn't know. You ae every right to be angry but unless you're going to email her to just inform her he's been lying, I don't think you should. I don't think you should accuse her of "home wrecking" as she is as much a victim as you are of your ex-boyfriend's lies. 1
MrWindupBird Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 If it's over, then let it be. Only negativity will come from that, and if your relationship has just ended, then you've probably had your fill of negativity for the foreseeable future.
Got it Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 And think you need to walk down the different scenarios and ask yourself "and then what". What will happen after you do a, b, and c. How will you feel? What will their reaction most likely be? How will you feel about that? And so on. You need to do what you need to do but take the time to explore the thought process tied to it. What will make you the happiest long term, the healthiest and help your healing. I am sorry for your pain. 1
Author Only_human17 Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 Alright, I've decided that it won't be worth it! I just want to move on with my life, and that is what I'm going to do! MissBee- I'm going to have to respectively disagree that she was innocent, but he is the one at complete fault.
Got it Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Alright, I've decided that it won't be worth it! I just want to move on with my life, and that is what I'm going to do! MissBee- I'm going to have to respectively disagree that she was innocent, but he is the one at complete fault. only, you stated she didn't know he had a girlfriend. I am confused how she is culpable in this. Or do you not believe that she was in the dark? 1
Author Only_human17 Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 I just believe she is a whore, and if she doesn't have respect for her body than she probably wouldn't have respect for my relationship either.
skywriter Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I just believe she is a whore, and if she doesn't have respect for her body than she probably wouldn't have respect for my relationship either. Wow! ten characters..... 1
wanting more Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I just believe she is a whore, and if she doesn't have respect for her body than she probably wouldn't have respect for my relationship either. WOW!!! You have no idea what this woman knew about your relationship. Maybe your EX lied to her. (you even stated that in your post). You sure seem to have a lot of hate, do you extend that hate to your EX? 1
Got it Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 Why do you say she doesn't have respect for her body? I am confused by your animosity towards her. 1
imperfectangel Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 He claims she didn't know he had a GF, so since nobody else wanted to tell her I thought I'd let her know that she home wrecked my 3 year relationship. No, your ex wrecked it he was in the relationship not her. Hate it when girls blame the other girl 1
Author Only_human17 Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 I don't blame her! When I first posted this I was on day one of no contact and I guess I just thought if I talked to her it would make me feel better. Maybe whore was the wrong word, but come on I have a little right to be angry towards the whole situation, and the right to be confused about my own feelings. At this second, I do not want to talk to her, I stopped talking to him 2 days ago and it's been the best decision (other than ending the relationship) that I have made.
wanting more Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I don't blame her! When I first posted this I was on day one of no contact and I guess I just thought if I talked to her it would make me feel better. Maybe whore was the wrong word, but come on I have a little right to be angry towards the whole situation, and the right to be confused about my own feelings. At this second, I do not want to talk to her, I stopped talking to him 2 days ago and it's been the best decision (other than ending the relationship) that I have made. You have a lot of right to be angry. You contacting her is something only you can decide. But maybe, just maybe she really didn't know he was in a R with you, maybe he lied to her to contacting her and "presuming" she is a whore is going to get you no where. IMO.
Author Only_human17 Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 I agree! I'm not an angry person and I don't want to come across hostile, I love my life and I'm reding to continue it angry free and single
nofool4u Posted January 9, 2013 Posted January 9, 2013 I just believe she is a whore, and if she doesn't have respect for her body than she probably wouldn't have respect for my relationship either. Normally I'd agree with your sentiments. But why is she a wh0re when she didn't know he was dating you? He obviously lied to her about you, yes?
Author Only_human17 Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 Again Whore may have been a bit strong, I don't want to be that delusional girl who completely hates on the other woman, because that's just not me. 1
Got it Posted January 10, 2013 Posted January 10, 2013 ((((Only))))) I know, you are going through a lot of pain right now and probably lashing out in all areas. I am glad that you rationally see the differences even if emotionally it is easier and feels better to hit both of them. Keep riding the waves, it will get better. And please please please know that his actions are not a reflection of you and your self worth. He didn't appreciate all the amazing features about you and he is the fool for it. Just know that with this you are now able to be with a guy who will value those things and he is the fool for not realizing it. So screw him! (Have you made a voodoo doll yet? I would highly recommend doing so and take great pleasure in sticking it with great enthusiasm with really big sharp pins!) 2
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