trevjim Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 When someone goes into a rebound, one of the reasons the do so is so they dont have to deal with the emotions and grieve for the ended relationship, am i correct? My question is, once the rebound has run its course, or even during it, do the feelings that were not dealt with from the original relationship come back?
na49 Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 I'd imagine they don't. Instead they feel emotions over the end of the new rebound relationship and look for another to help them cope. Thus the vicious cycle repeats itself.
Honiebee Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 It can make you feel worse. Trying to get over my ex by having random hook-ups made everything worse. If they were after sex too it made me feel alone and only good for one thing. I missed the intimacy of a relationship and felt even less attractive than my ex made me feel. I would cry myself to sleep - I was throwing my body around like it didn't matter. And of course if the person ends up having feelings for you, you will hurt them unintentionally and still feel bad. Sex for fun is fine as long as that's all it is. If its to get over someone- or on a rebound- it won't work. X
flitzanu Posted January 7, 2013 Posted January 7, 2013 problem with naming your ex's new relationship as a "rebound" is because you often think they haven't dealt with the emotions of the breakup. well, they have. they dumped you in their mind weeks/months/days before, and had come to peace with that decision long before they dumped you. they aren't grieving because they already did. 1
Author trevjim Posted January 7, 2013 Author Posted January 7, 2013 problem with naming your ex's new relationship as a "rebound" is because you often think they haven't dealt with the emotions of the breakup. well, they have. they dumped you in their mind weeks/months/days before, and had come to peace with that decision long before they dumped you. they aren't grieving because they already did. I was the dumper in this case, wasnt an easy decision, i did and do love her, it just wasnt working and she could see that too, she didnt take it well and had a major break down at her work about it, then got with an ex who i know means nothing to her as she cheated on him before and always used him for attention as he is pretty depserate.
stevie_23 Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 I have never understand the rebound relationship until now. When my first ex-partner ended things, I was devastated for a short while but the last thing I wanted was to be with anyone else. God no! But this time…my recent-ex has left me, without much explanation and if I hadn’t kept contacting him to find out why (when he just disappeared and didn’t say a single thing to me), I still wouldn’t know he’d ended things permanently. And so this time, I am in so much pain and feel so alone, I want someone, ANYONE, to replace him. I went on dating sites and signed up (but didn’t continue when I learnt you had to pay to actually meet people), intending to find another man JUST like him. How sad is that?
flitzanu Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 I was the dumper in this case, wasnt an easy decision, i did and do love her, it just wasnt working and she could see that too, she didnt take it well and had a major break down at her work about it, then got with an ex who i know means nothing to her as she cheated on him before and always used him for attention as he is pretty depserate. the bigger question then, is, if you dumped her and it wasn't working, why does it matter the reasons she moved on with someone else?
NoMagicBullet Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 When someone goes into a rebound, one of the reasons the do so is so they dont have to deal with the emotions and grieve for the ended relationship, am i correct? My question is, once the rebound has run its course, or even during it, do the feelings that were not dealt with from the original relationship come back? Yes, even if they won't admit it to themselves or anyone else. It's a way to escape the pain, but it can also bring up other old feelings and issues that weren't dealt with to the surface from time to time. Big complicated mental & emotional mess, unless the person goes numb and refuses to acknowledge what they feel. Yes, the feelings -- and the issues -- that weren't dealt with will be back, just like Arnie in the Terminator movies, in one form or another.
fixing Posted January 8, 2013 Posted January 8, 2013 I'd imagine they don't. Instead they feel emotions over the end of the new rebound relationship and look for another to help them cope. Thus the vicious cycle repeats itself. 10000% correct imo.
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